Random reminder

Press, 7 November 1978, Page 27

Random reminder

HEADLINES

Newspaper headlines continue to puzzle and upset us. “Rubber Men Return,” said a recent one. We were too frightened to read on. “Rubber Men Return?” We didn’t even know they had been away. We had this terrifying vision of an army of rubber men, their bodies all bulgy and flexible, marching silently towards Christchurch from wherever it was they had been. Conventional weapons would be useless against them. Even rubber bullets, as used by the British Army in Northern Ireland, would ricochet off their impervious exteriors. Their arms and legs would • be infinitely extendable, and as they marched down the Main North Road they would reach out and pluck helpless donkeys and sheep from their pastures. Well, of course, the reality, when we finally nerved ourselves to read about it, was a good deal less alarming. It turned out that workers in rubber mills were returning to work

after protest stoppages during award negotiations. We’re pleased about this. But we are left with a deep-seated, irrational fear of the invincible Rubber Men.

And in the same issue of the paper was a headline which read, “Youngster to play for New Zealand.” “Jolly good.” we thought. “The omission of Youngster from New Zealand sides over the last decade is nothing short of a scandal.” And we went on to speculate how the selectors who in the past had shamefully ignored Youngster would be gnashing their teeth, while in the Youngster household joy would be unrestrained as Youngster oiled his equipment in preparation for the testing overseas tour.

But in truth, the story was not even remotely about Youngster. It was about a 15-year-old girl called Deborah Hocklev, who had been included in the New Zealand women’s cricket team. Well, really. How misleading can you get?