Home & People

Press, 19 October 1978, Page 6

Home & People

By

GEORGIA DULLEA,

of

the “New York Times.

New York Their sex lives never measure up to those superlative examples reported in the surveys. They are alternately intimidated and bored by the sex manuals. The truth is: they have stopped having sexual relations, at least for a while, although one hesitates to admit such a thing in the midst of a sexual revolution. As a New York therapist out it: “People will go on TV and talk for hours about their homosexuality or their bisexuality, but who wants to talk about their asexuality?” Asexuality is, of course, a term used by the public, ■not the professionals, who emphasise that no-one is truly sexless. At the same time, however, the professionals do acknowledge that the chief symptom of self-styled asexuals — a lack of interest in sexual intercourse — is being expressed with growing frequency at clinics around the country.

Older people have always reported low interest for cultural, psychological and sometimes physical reasons. But now clinics are seeing more and more of this among young people, males and females in their late 20s and early 30s.

Lacking research of the phenomenon, the experts are not sure if this means that more people are actually experiencing less desire for sex or simply that more people are willing to acknowledge it. Among proponents of the latter theory is the dean of sex therapy, Dr William Masters.

“We are seeing an increase of people with reduced sex interest,” he noted at the reproductive biology research foundation in St Louis. ‘‘But then more people are coming for help. “At one time who dared admit to impotency or to non orgasm? Now that we’re past that, people are coming in with other distresses. Not all sexual dis-

tresses have to do with facility or function.” On the other hand, not everyone now living the celibate life speaks of distress. For a number of single men and women interviewed, all in their late 20s or 30s, all with reasonably active sexual histories, a period without sex with a partner offers a comforting antidote to such contemporary ills as traumatic divorces, traumatic affairs, random sex and the pressure to score. Other people spoke of losing interest in sex during periods of illness, stress, or preoccupation

with work. To their suprise, they felt ambivalent about becoming active again once those periods had passed. “When you don’t have it you don’t miss it. Now I know how nuns and priests must feel,” said a writer who gave up sexual relations because of abdominal surgery and has still not resumed them, nearly a year after her recovery. “It’s not that I haven’t had the opportunity,” she said with a shrug. Contrary to popular belief abstinent men are not usually plagued by consuming sexual appetites, according to Dr Bernie Zilbergeld, a clinical pyschologist in the human sexuality programme at the University of California. “Abstinence need not rule out masturbation,” he said. Dr Zilbergeld, whose new book, “Male Sexuality.” includes interviews with men who found temporary abstinence an instructive and even gratifying experience, said he had talked to more men who were contemplating abstinence than actually practicing it. “The idea is still too strange for most guys,” he explained. “They are afraid they’ll end up thinking more about sex than they already are or that it

will take up more of their time. With women it’s somehow more permissable. but for a man it’s still considered weird.” Some react by visiting the sex therapy clinics. In general, these patients fall into one of two categories: those with low interest and low response: those with low interest but good response. What brings patients with little or no interest in sex to sex therapy clinics in the first place? Many experts theorise that the sex information explosion of the 1970 s has prompted some with low response. tvpically women, to say: “I’m entitled to sexual pleasure. What’s wrong with me?” Others, having experienced sexual pleasure, are seeking therapy because their lack of desire is causing marital stress. Although the authorities tend to agree that depressed sexual desire in a younger person is generally a sign of pathology —a symptom, not a fact, as masters put it — they do not necessarily recommend increased sexual activity as a cure.