Some adopted children find need to know about ‘natural’ parents

Press, 9 June 1978, Page 7

Some adopted children find need to know about ‘natural’ parents

By

LEONE STEWART

Adopted people should have right of access to their birth records, in the opinion of Dr John Triseliotis, a world renowned export on child adoption and fostering. Laws should be reformed in countries such as New Zealand, where access to records was not allowed, Dr Triseliotis believes. “I hope no country will continue to legislate to make adoption secretive. Where the law has been conceived in ignorance there is a responsibility to change.” said Dr Triseliotis, in Christchurch this week. "In Search of Origins” is a book of pioneer research, written by Dr Triseliotis. Published tn 1973. it is a study undertaken from 1967 to 1968 of adopted people who sought to trace their natural parents through the Scottish Registry of Births. Deaths and Marriages Scotland has had an open registry of births since 1920; Finland also has a long-standing policy of allowing adoptive persons access to their birth registration and Israel artonted this policy in the 1960 s

As a result of Dr Triseliotis’s findings, the English law was also changed in January, 1977. Dr Triseliotis has found most resistance to the changes he advocates in the United States, and during his recent visit to Australia. “Our research has shown that adopted people need to know about their first parents, and about their biological origins,” said Dr Triseliotis. who is senior lecturer in social administration at the University of Edinburgh. Dr Triseliotis, the father of two adopted children, wants to reassure adoptive parents that knowledge of natural parents does not represent a threat to them. “If children are told the truth from as early an age as possible we have found this cements the relationship between the child and his or her adopted parents. There is much more trust between child and parent.” he said. For adoptive children, knowledge about their biological parents was “the missing link in the jigsaw puzzle.” “We are not saying that blood is thicker than water." said Dr Triseliotis. "But this knowledge is im-

portant in a small sense. The child’s personality and identity will be passed on to it by the psychological parents, but adoptive children don’t feel complete unless they know about their natural parents.’ Only about 1 per cent of adoptive children would want to search for their natural parents. About haff these merely wanted more information. But this small group was very unhappy, and unless they knew more about their origins wouid not be able to be at peace with themselves. Most of those who made the search were aged about 25. Frequently they had been denied the truth about their adoptive status, and had found out only when they were grown up. Sometimes a crisis in the adoptive home, perhaps th«* death of an adoptive parent, would precipitate a search for natural parents. Dr Triseliotis emphasises the need for adoptive parents to tell the child about its adoptive status as soon as the child becomes curious about babies and birth. Throughout childhood the subject of adoption, and knowledge about the child’s natural parents and I the circum-

stances of adoption should be passed on easily' and naturally. Parents should insist on having information about the family of origin from the adoption authority. Adults had to take the responsibility for. talking about this, because adoptive people were reluctant as children, to ask tnem selves. Some adoptivd parents found it very difficult to talk to their children about their biological oarents. They should seek help from

social workers, and other adoptive parents. “This is a duty they can’t delegate,” said Dr Triseliotis. “This information must come from the parents. They will find it is a great release to talk to their children about their adoption.” All adopted people would always have a curiosity about their origins. But usually it could be largely satisfied within the adoptive family. Dr Triseliotis has some comfort for adoptive parents of adolescents. “Sometimes an adolescent

will come to think things would have been different with his natural parents,” he said. “But generally this will be a passing phase, about which parents should keep their heads. There is only one family for the. adoptive child, and that’s the psychological family." Dr Triseliotis believes in telling the truth. He does not believe adoptive parents should try to protect children from what background facts they may regard as potentially hurtful.

“If a child begins to build up a fantasy about his past that will be much more torturing than telling him the truth,” he said. If the child’s background was unhappy, timing in the telling of it was all important. He knew of one case in which the natural parent of an adopted child had murdered the other. "This is not something you tell a child." he said. "But it is information you must give an adult, because it will come out eventually.” It was important for European parents adopting a child of different cultural origins, such as an Asian or Maori child, to learn about that culture.

"These parents need to understand the child’s ethnic group. They should not try to pretend there is no difference between themselves and the child. The child knows very well there is a difference. The child would still be of the adopted family, but its cultural needs would be acknowledged.” Although he has seen very successful crosscultural adoptions, Dr Triseliotis wishes more adoptions could be made within the same cultural _ group. “I wish more adoptive and foster families could be found here among Maoris,” he said. He is opposed to rushed adoptions such as took place at the end of the Vietnam war. “Very often there was little documentation, and these children would have little or no knowledge of their natural parents.” Dr Triseliotis considers Western countries are now moving into a new phase of adoption. As the number of babies available for adoption drops, communities are revealing a willingness to adopt older, and sometimes handicapped, children. Many of these children would otherwise spend their lives in institutions. “Here, we are finding the

community is leading th - professionals. There is no such thing as a child who is not suitable for adoption as long as there is a family willing to care for it.” he said. Dr Triseliotis. who grew up in rural Cyprus, has a background in social welfare work. He has been at Edinburgh University for the past 15 years, and is now director of a largescale research project contrasting the outcomes of adoption, foster care, and residential care. During a very busy few days in Christchurch, Dr Triseliotis visited the home of Mrs Mary Moodie, in Sumner. Now the Presbyterian Social Services’ family home, Mrs Moodie. who has been fostering children for many years, has 10 children from preschool age to teen-agers. She also runs a day-cart emergency scheme in her home for children from the neighbourhood. Inspired by her efforts, another four foster homes have begun in Sumner. Much of Mrs Moodie’s assistance comes from the community’s voluntary effort. “She is a remarkable woman to do what, she does, and to have organised the community support,” said Dr Triseliotis.