Reporter's Diary

Press, 11 April 1977, Page 2

Reporter's Diary

Splattered < OASTERS’ ways are not always greeted with amusement. A Christchurch visitor to Westport has complained about the local farmers' practice of driving their slow-moving dairy herds along the mam highway into town. He said he was driving into Westport when he came across a herd of about 150 cows wandering all over the road near the entrance to the Buller Gorge. "They were spread out all over the road for about 800 metres, with noone at their head.” he complained. To add insult to injury, as he drove slowly through the herd, one cow turned tail and splattered his car. He had the window open at the time. The farmer driving the herd seemed quite unconcerned about his plight, said the city man. and just kepi walking the herd "as if he owned the

Dirtv beasts TALKING of incontinent cattle, the Canterbury’ Bye-Products Company has put a ban on what it calls “dirty, daggy beasts” arriving at the Christchurch city abattoir. “Do not send in dirty stock.” says the company -in a circular to all customers, “as our hands are tied.” The Meat Regulations forbid the abattoir to slaughter for human consumption any stock which is in an unreasonably dirty condition, and an inspector can direct that dirty beasts be cleaned first, to his satisfaction. "In the past, there have been a couple of men here who have done this cleaning in their own time and made a charge accordingly.” says the company. "They are now no longer interested in carrying this on.” Quite understandable, too. Ship 'at home' AUSSIE sailors from the

guided missile destroyer H.M.A.S. Perth would have had a fairly quiet "liberty” as the Navy calls snore leave in Christchurch at Easter weekend. While they were ashore, half the city, it seemed, streamed down to Lyttelton to visit the ship. The Perth had 1740 visitors on Saturday and another 2600 yesterday. Some of the crew went off on a sight-seeing tour organised by the Ex Royal Navalmen’s Association, then joined their hosts at an evening meal. Displeased GOD wrote to the editor again this Easter. He wasn’t very pleased with him. "As Almighty God, I greet you.” his letter began. But he had a rebuke for editors and publishers, to whom he has been mailing letters signed by "My Beloved Son Eugene Changey” for the last 10 years. "The response has been dismal,” he complains. “With the passing

of time, I thought these letters would bring us closer together, but time has drifted us apart.” He had hoped, said God, that his letters would help the editor to understand that he. God. was truly alive and living in at 18416 Mapieboro Avenue, Maple Heights, Ohio. Spies' radio A RADIO transmitter believed to have been used by a spy ring to send messages to the Soviet Union nearly 20 years ago was unearthed in London o'n Saturday by a man digging his garden. The house was once occupied by the spies Helen and Peter Kroger, jailed by Britain in 1961 for passing British Naval secrets to the Russians. When the spy ring was cracked, police picked their way through the house, uncovering a 25-metre aerial, a trapdoor under a refrigerator, and secret signal plans. But the transmitter was missed until the present house owner dug it out. The Krogers, after serving 81 years of their 20 year sentences, were exchanged in 1969 for the British lecturer Gerald Brooke, jailed for handing out anti-Soviet propaganda in Moscow.

Trimming the Army

PORTLY brigadiers, generals, and not a few basewallahs of lower ranks, will be climbing into their Bombay bloomers for a bit of secret PT now that the New Zealand Army has tightened up its fitness rules. It seems that some of them have been putting

on the beef. Fitness tests have been devised, scaled according to age (but not rank), and every man and woman in the Army may be required to “sit” the tests at any time. Chaps over 45 have to do a twomile run in 171 minutes, and also achieve 29 situps, seven press-ups, but will be let off chin-ups. Those who are 25 must do their two miles two minutes faster — plus 41 situps, 19 press-ups and four chin-ups. More than 90 per cent of those who have just finished their basic training manage to pass the tests, but the rate drops to 60 per cent for the rest of the Army.

Kitti-potti YOU’VE seen the Sani-lav; now watch for the Kittipotti (pictured). “Your cat will love it, and so will you,” says the advertisement in the "New York Times.” The contents can’t get out, and dogs can’t get in. The entrance is only seven inches wide. Pussy's own potty comes in beige, yellow, blue, white or even avocado. — Garry Arthur