DON'T SHOOT, MISTER

Press, Volume CXVI, Issue 34130, 17 April 1976, Page 14

DON'T SHOOT, MISTER

(By

WHIM WHAM)

“Although United States targets are almost certainly their principal objective, it is of some significance for the South Pacific region that some of these missiles are capable of covering New Zealand . . . from sites in the Soviet far east” ... no reason to believe that any missiles had New Zealand as their set target—“ Nor do I see any reason why they should, but it is as well to acknowledge that they can reach us.”—Mr Muldoon, to the Foreign Affairs Club in London. Sir, this confirms my worst Suspicions, They’ve got their Missiles in Positions From which to threaten our brave Nation With nuclear Incineration — Though why‘They should. I can't conceive — A solemn Thought, for Easter Eve. I hear the Ministry of Works Was ready to begin Digging a Shelter deep enough To put New Zealand in — Oh no. the Taxpayers might grudge it! The Bombs arrived before the Budget. < * * Wellington vanished in the War Between the Super Powers. Somebody’s trigger Finger slipped — The Bomb was ONE OF OURS. Tourists admire the Monument That marks this tragic Accident. Our ANZUS navies ruled the Seas, Our Tankers and our Freighters. Our ships sailed on — they reached no Ports, But radioactive Craters. Only our Dreams were nuclear-free — Trafalgar, or the Coral Sea! Dear Comrade Brezhnev, do not aim Your Megatons this Way! Your Target’s surely Pittsburg. Penn., Or Houston, Texas, say — Don't take it out on Auckland, lad, If Something wipes out Leningrad.