Humour at sea

Press, Volume CXV, Issue 33869, 14 June 1975, Page 22

Humour at sea

[By

JOHN LESLIE)

A regular Southland correspondent. R.8.E., of Balfour, now visiting Christchurch, has personally contacted the writer, asking for more nautical anecdotes laced with humour. Others have followed suit. R.S.E. was born on Kawhia harbourside. in the North Island. He is fond of shipping and the sea. but is now mostly confined to. Lakes Wakatipu and Te Anau. Perhaps the following may be of appeal before he heads south again: In mid-1957, when returning home aboard the liner Oronsay from Britain, the , writer occasionally noticed at the captain's table a soldierly looking Englishman of middle age. That was all. One evening in passing, this man said quietly to the writer: “Did I see you wear-, ing a Guards’ tie at deck quoits yesterday?" I The writer, before leaving ■ Christchurch, had bought in I a Colombo Street shop two | colourful, bargain ties for knockabout shipboard wear. I The writer rather innocently i told the inquirer about this, 'and that his son had saic; ; that one tie reminded him of; the Christchurch Girls’ High ; ) School tie. The distinguished passenger, on a world-wide busi- - nsss trip, never bothered to speak to the writer again. ~ Sis s': ' I Now to Oran (Algeria),) some years earlier, while i serving aboard a tanker. Be-J fore sailing, we told the ( local French agent’s representative how helpful he had i 1 been. We meant it. When . not speaking fluent French, j with characteristic gesticula->s tion, the representative, who;, had been there some 20 ” years, had impressed us ) s with his fluency in English. “You speak English as j well as an Englishman,” we said. He gave us a strange s look. “I am an Englishman,” * he said. We chuckled with embarrassment (in English) v all the way back to the Per- ® sian Gulf. L * * P The earlier ferry steamer Maori, in mature years, not n only had two funnels which | v could glow at night to a light cherry colour, but heriy bridge, almost entirely open, v

received light showers ol soot or embers in a follow I ing breeze. In midwinter ' alongside the chilly, Canterbury coast, one “crunched’ up and down, on watch, in the middle of the night sometimes in a mixture of soot and snowflakes. The third officer, at one period, was a man with a keen sense of humour, “Jack” Gallienne, a Channel Islander, who married about then a Christchurch girl. When one relieved him at midnight, he was usually cherry, and called the bridge the “cinder path.” But his good humour was once strained, for we then had a most efficient, rather serious chief officer (long retired in another country), who aycosted the writer thus, one morning: “Do you know what?” (Pause) “I have just caught the third officer (Gal-

I lienne) cleaning his shoes. • IN WORKING HOURS." ). Soon after, 'the writer ’ found “Jack” Gallienne talk- ■ ing to a seagull, perched on “ a ventilator. “There have > been Galliennes in the ChanI nel Islands for centuries, and never have we had to toler1 ate anything like this,” he said. The rest of his remarks were directed to his ances- • tors. ) He was a splendid ship- ' mate — and later became a • farmer. 1 : .-. ... 1 Finally, going inland a I' little to Warner’s Hotel, more than 20 years ago, when the writer was a guest .at a small dinner party, given by a former British. Labour member of Parliament, the Hon R. R. Stokes reportedly a Socialist millionaire or semi-millionaire — another guest asked po- ) litely: “Mr Stokes, were you; ’not once a Liberal member?’ I This large, robust, ; ebullient, Cambridge-edu-cated. easy-mannered politician (now deceased) replied in a booming voice for the whole dining room to hear: “Liberal-nevaah-onlyd Lay-, baah-always Laybaah.” ARRIVALS None. DEPARTURES | Mobil Producer (2.52 p.m.), • 17,500, Capt. R. D. Stevenson. Wellington (U.S.S.) (Tanker). Frysna (3.11 p.m.), 298. Capt. Mosese Haukinima, Auckland (N.S.S.).

EXPECTED ARRIVALS I Rangatira, Wellington, today. (Rangatira, Wellington, June 15. i Union Auckland. Cape Theve’l nard, June 15. Holmdale, Chathams, June 15. Grand Opal, Christmas Island. J June 16 (bulk). " Coastal Trader. Auckland, June ■; J - | i Union Sydney Dunedin, June 17. , Woosung, Wellington, June 17. Menam, Wellington. June 17. » Rangatira, Wellington, June 17. .! Straat Colombo, Dunedin, June j, 18. )i Natko Nodilo. Dunedin, June) I , 19 - v Somerset, Auckland, June 19. • Strathloyal. Wellington, June 20. i , Amalric, Noumea, June 20. • Daioh Maru, Japan, June 21. I PROJECTED DEPARTURES ! Soochow, Napier, today. ’ Rangatira, Wellington, today: (daylight). Vishva Bindu, Dunedin, today. 1 Vienne, Dunkirk, today. . Rangatira, Wellington, June 15. Coastal Trader. Dunedin, June 16. Rangatira, Wellington, June 17.: Union Sydney. Wellington, June 17. Holmdale, . June 18. I Woosung, Tauranga, June 19. VESSELS IN PORT Soochow. No 1 B.W. i Vienne, No 3 West. Vishva Bindu. No. 7 West. :