Fine day for some feigned fighting

Press, Volume CXIV, Issue 33655, 3 October 1974, Page 2

Fine day for some feigned fighting

War correspondents huddled in safety in the Ham University cafeteria yesterday as wave upon wave of soldiers from Alfa Imperial Army attacked the British Empire Royal Anarchists' Association, outnumbered by three to one. The air shook as smoke bombs and water-bombs were thrown at the Anarchists as they attempted to cross the river.

In the battle, the soaked commander of the Imperia) forces, Captain Tony Catford said, “It’s a lovely day to do battle,” as he ordered his men into the square formation, a la Charlemagne, in preparation for the onslaught of the hairies of the University Tramping Club, who styled themselves the "Anarchists’ Army.” WIZARD Careful to keep well out of the firing line, lan Brackenbury Channell, Captain Catford’s sorcerer, sat sucking at his pipe as the battle raged. Paper corpses littered the ground as the Imperial Army turned and charged the civilians, raining water bombs on fully-dressed spectators. Even a war correspondent and his cameraman were not safe in such a Contest, being pushed bodily into the swirling waters, and lucky to rescue precious notes. The leaders of the two armies, Captain Catford and Genera] Eccles, met In the middle of the river in the traditional two-man combat. If the wettest commander is the best, then Captain Catford certainly won the day. RITUAL ’ Both the Red Cross and the Intelligence Corps had an easy time; there were no wounded and any would-be defectors changed their minds when fired on by the enemy. The sheen on Captain Catford’s tropical helmet, set off his array of medals fo perfection as he stood resplendent in his khaki shirt and soaked regulation baggy shorts, resting as the battle waned. The battle finished. “Who won?” he was asked. “No-one,” he replied. “We just have to go back to lectures now.” He said later that the battle was a means for pacifists to let off steam without any physical violence. “It’s ritualised aggression in its purest form.” The idea was given to the students last year by the “Wizard” (lan Brackenbury Channell) who saw the scheme at Melbourne University.