A new style of liberation

Press, Volume CXIV, Issue 33521, 30 April 1974, Page 6

A new style of liberation

'By

STELLA BRUCE}

“Why can’t a woman be like a man?” asks the song from “Aly Fair Lady.” If she wants to be a thoroughly liberated lady. 1974-style. she will have to try. Sociologists say that, ac- j cording to today’s updated etiquette, it is perfectly all right for a woman to light a man’s cigarette (if she has the only lighter which works), open a door for him' (if she is bigger and fitter).' and pay for his lunch (if there is more money in her handbag than in his wallet). I Surprises If you have been out of the liberated scene for as .little as five years, the

changes you would find if {you returned would surprise,' please or appal you. You’d be surprised how] many men who chat up a ■ liberated lady at a party; won’t even bother to ask if •she’s married, divorced ori single, before they ask her' out. If you’re obviously unattached that evening it’s good enough for them. You’d be pleased how many quite young men are attracted to women over 30. A divorcee aged 32, told me, “I w-as surprised to find 1 was in demand by men. Having been married seems to be .an advantage — at least they know you're experienced.” You’d be appalled if .you’ve been brought up to believe that men must always make the first move? Today, if a girl fancies a fel-

low, she’s quite likely to; suggest the first date. How about the permissive society we’ve heard so much about? If you were liberated and fancy-free how would you cope with that? The whole situation was summed up by a 17-year-old girl who said: “Mum thinks we are all ever so naughty, but I don’t think we are really. I think we’re just more honest.” Money or sex? ! Indeed, sociologists are' convinced that women's liberation is more about money than sex. There’s no reason, they say, why working wives (or even those who find by some miracle that they’ve got a bit of housekeeping money left over), shouldn’t help out with the cost of a night out. But liberation, it seems, rarely goes this far. Of a total of 12 per cent w-orking; wives questioned in a recent! study, only 14 claimed they! would consider “going; Dutch” with their husbands. ; “Relationships are cer-| tainly more honest than they! used to be,” says a London, sociologist, Dr Helen Catter-i ick, author of a book on I contemporary social atti-i tudes. “There is no real reason why the man should be the: only one in the house to I control money, just as it is | no longer thought unfeminine to show a man that you are interested in him.” To the really liberated woman, married men are no longer automatically taboo. A woman advertising executive, whose marriage ended three years ago, told me: “I

;am not afraid to go out with, a married man — especially! if I know’ he is not getting) on with his wife. I see noth-i [ ing immoral in having al I drink together.” Twelve out of 20 attractive, unmarried women told j Helen Catterick that they! had made the first move in starting a relationship with! a man. It ranged from asking him to bring her a drink at a I party to telephoning him on i some pretext after getting J his number from a friend. ' Nine of the girls said they j had paid for restaurant meals when their escorts ; hadn’t enough money, and ’ no longer expected to have 1 doors opened, and cigarettes ; lit by attentive menfolk. What would your mother ! say about having to carry jyour box of groceries from .the supermarket, lugging '[your heavy case along the ! station platform, and fighting for a seat on the bus? ;But that’s what being liber'ated is all about, 'j Ten years ago, when 40 ! wives were asked in a Lon I don University study whether they would go on holiday i without their husbands, only ill said they would. ■ Last year another 40 were ■asked, and this time 27 said they would, and 23 had d actually done so. I Catherine Lambert, author |of a recent book on contemporary marriage, says the . decline of the “authoritarian husband” in the past 20 I years had led to women i wanting to please themselves, largely run their own lives, and make their own 1 decisions. — Features Inter['national.