CONTRACT BRIDGE Harry the Horse meets the Doll

Press, Volume CXIV, Issue 33446, 30 January 1974, Page 22

CONTRACT BRIDGE Harry the Horse meets the Doll

(Contributed by

J.R.W.)

It is a pretty hot summer in the old home town but the local citizens keep turning up at Jack’s Club for their bridge and one night 1 am walking in with Colin the Card and his blond judy the Doll, who is saying “Colin, I read the other day that people should make resolutions at the beginning of the year and I decide my New Year's resolution is to be kind and tolerant to all other bridge players, including Harry the Horse.”

Well of course we are .more than somewhat amazed [by those sentiments on account of three things. Firstly we do not know the Doll ever reads anything that is not a bridge book and no bridge book we ever read sa\ r s anything about New Year resolutions or about being kind and tolerant at that. Secondly we are just as likely to be kind and tolerant to Al Capone as to Harry the Horse, for they both commit as much murder and mayhem in their own way and Harry’s way is to dummies and partners’ feelings. Thirdly we do not think the Doll knows how to be kind or tolerant so I am wondering what odds Jack will give me that her resolution does not last a week and I think seven to two is a pretty good price.

HARRY THE HORSE When we sit down to play the Doll cuts Harry the Horse as her first partner and I think the odds are now 10 to one. This is the first hand: N S—9 63 H—K QJIO 5 D—7 4 C—AKQ W E S— S—A Q.l 1087 2 H—9 87 6 H—A 4 3 D—J 2 D—3 C—J 10 876 5 2 C—4 3 S—K 5 4 11—2 D—A KQIO9 8 6 5 C—9 HECTIC BIDDING The bidding is more than somewhat hectic: H.H. Me Doll Colin W N E S No 1H 4S 6D No No Dble All Pass Harry leads the jack of clubs won by dummy’s queen and when 1 wander round to look at his hand 1 cannot see

I how Colin can make this ’contract for he is missing two aces and furthermore has no l other entry to the table. ' He thinks for a while then icashes the king of clubs, dis-i (carding his small heart, andi I leads the king of hearts from dummy. When the Doll covers with the ace he ruffs, and plays the ace of diamonds. Harry! follows with the two. dummy I plays the four and East the three. When Colin leads the five, of trumps Harry has to win with the jack and has only clubs and hearts left. He continues with a heart which allows the declarer to discard his three spades on the top hearts and make his contract.

END OF RESOLUTION That is the end of the Doll’s New Year resolution. She tells her partner that any fool knows when she doubles six diamonds she wants him to lead a heart which puts the contract down two, and furthermore an idiot discards his jack of diamonds under the ace to avoid an end-play. She makes several other unladylike statements which are by no means tolerant or kind and it is clear that someone is going to suffer. The next hand is: S—A K 9 6 5 3 H—9 5 D—K J 10 C—AQ J W E S—JlO 8 S—Q H—6 3 2 H—A D—B 7 D—A Q 9 5 3 2 ; C—85432 C—K 10976 S S—7 542 , H—KQJ 108 7 4 e D—6 4 C— - Harry the Horse is nowh North and opens one spade : and the Doll promptly calls j four hearts. Colin the Card ; interrupts to say he does not |' yet bid but the Doll just!; shrugs her shoulders and tells him to hurry up and make! a call. So Colin on the East I, cards bids an unusual two • no-trumps and the Doll says , “I still call four hearts.” OUT OF TURN i When Colin says that her! partner cannot now bid again < the Doll makes it quite clear she is by no means displeased, and in fact if I am : a suspicious guy 1 think she

makes her bid out t deliberately to silence partner, but of cour.-e 1 c . inot think anything .T y sort, or at any rate i t i r ■long. Against four heaits 1 'e.... the eight of diamonds > Colin wins the queen and ace and continues with the tw.. ;The Doll trumps with the 10. crosses to the ace of >pades and leads the five of trumps from the table. When East wins with th s > ace of hearts he is end-playeci in a very big way for ho ha> no more hearts or spades. If he leads a club he gives i.p a trick so he tries another diamond. The Doll discards a spade on this and ruffs with

dummy’s nine of hearts > enters her hand by trumping the jack of clubs, draws the rest of my hearts, crosses t>> dummy with the king of spades and discards her last spade on the ace of dubHer only losers are two dia imonds and a heart so she makes her contract. “I suppose you can also make four spades." sass Colin. “I can but I do not think he can.” says the Doll, refer ring to Harry' the Horse. “Furthermore I no longer take any notice of anything I read from now on.”