– 'AN AMICABLE SHOW’

Press, Volume CXIV, Issue 33444, 28 January 1974, Page 1

- 'AN AMICABLE SHOW’

(By

JOHN COLLINS)

It is hard to believe that it is only three short days since that spectacular opening ceremony, since those ; wonderful colours as |2OOO schoolchildren were released into the air. 'since 25-poundei pigeons were ceremonially fired 'across the field, and; Duke Ellington arranged! himself into a huge A.' and P. symbol.

In the boiling cauldron of 'competition at the domain, • Spencer’s Gully, much has happened in the first days of | the Tenth Agricultural and 'Pastoral Show to bring pride and regret, joy and sadness, jto those who have worked for months to organise *’-e show, and to the farmers I who have come from miles 'around to join together in 'competition. There have been glorious' moments. Such as when! Drum-Major Colin Wort'

; burst away from the pipe iband in the last leg of the ' grand parade, and reached I the beer tent 25 yards clear • of the nearest bandsman. ! And ugly moments. The i jostling in the queue outside the temporary toilet, for I example, some of the entrants claiming they were! pushed. Or worse, the! .'finding of one of the | pigs trussed and with an 'apple in its mouth hidden! ; behind a sideshow. The dis- ; graceful scuffle that followed, where the pig’s owner ! smashed a competitor over the head with a life-size inflatable model of Sir Ber-i nard Fergusson, was most, regrettable. Fortunately, the! only injury was a small; monocle gash to the face. I Later the other pig-owner; telephoned his boss in; Kaiapoi to explain that it had just been a friendly as-j sault.

Sad moments Sad moments. Which of us will ever forget the look on Reta Grisford's face as she

announced that, because of a septic thumb, she would have to pull out of sand-wich-making? Or Mrs' Gollit, sitting forlorn amid a collapsed pavlova in the Home Produce (Miscellaneous), an event in which she was strongly tipped to win? But perhaps the most startling, and disturbing, occurrence at this, the affiicable A. and P. show, has been the unexpected success of the giant Latvian pigbreeder, Anatole Kleb, whose entries in the two-tooth ewe section have drawn accusations that he has fed them anatomical stereos, the wonder drugs that led to the smashing of so many records at the young farmer of the year ball last week. (The effect of the stereos on future balls is causing concern). “Naked lies, completely without athletic support,” said Anatole, when I spoke to him at his secret hideaway at Room 4, Sunny Motels. . Spencer’s Gully (phone 75-885). He seemed'

Tense after days of being hounded and pushed by the local press. “Not only that, but my ewes have been pressed and pushed by the local hound,” he complained, his legs resting comfortably on the inert form of his wife, Rosie, whose elderberry con came is a hot tip for the pentathlon in the Women’s Division bakery section.

"The press have always given me a bad time,” said that articulate farmer, who runs five 70-stone two-tooth ewes on his 4000 acres at Waipara, where he is known as the Guru of North Canterbury. “Ever since I, personally, entered the three-year-old heifer, with calf at foot, there have been accusations that I am not as other men,” he said, as he changed the! record on his expensive steroid. ‘TH show them*’ “But I’ll show them,” he said, fiddling nervously with his raincoat and giving a flashy smile. “The sack race;

will be one of the most! gruelling events in the history of the association. I shall! be using my new super-sack.”! There has been a lot of speculation among the journalists at the show about how good Kleb’s new sack is. But neither of them is willing to commit himself on Kleb’s chances. Other events. In the beer tent, Sam Hogg seems certain to win the pewter, having completed 15 rounds with his starting money intact, and the Lone Ranger in the jumping competition seems asisured of Silver. But the Gully’s greatest hopes for gold seems to lie with Isaac Rosenbaum. The ribbons in the coming days of competition will be presented by Mrs Ellington, whose houseboat. “Mon Repos,” is moored on the' • Waimak,