WE’RE NONE OF US PERFECT

Press, Volume CXI, Issue 32589, 24 April 1971, Page 16

WE’RE NONE OF US PERFECT

(By WHIM WHAM) “Television is giving the impression that today’s youth is no good," said the Minister of Broadcasting, Mr McCready., “In fact, it’s as good as it ever was. I would like to see the television cameras go into our universities where students are studying day and night to become good citizens.” —News. I asked the Student in the Library Where the Student sat, Are you studying to become a Good Citizen? He said, What’s That? A Good Citizen (I said), you know, like Me. He gave me a Look, As if I wasn’t There, and his Eyes turned Back to his Book. A Good Citizen (I pressed), and pay your Taxes,’ And Rates, of course, On your Nice Home, and one Day maybe, Own your own Horse! And get knighted for your shining Services To a dull Nation? Or join the Rank and File of Good Citizenry, In a humbler Station? The Student in the Library answered Me, I study this Stuff, And I learn that becoming a Good Citizen Isn’t Good enough. Good Citizens burned the Christians, And gassed the Jews; Good Citizens hate their Neighbours For their Colour, their Creed, their Views; Good Citizens love Elevenses, Vodka and Orange Slosh, On a Sunday Morning under an Awning. Good Citizens wash. Good Citizens are credit-worthy, Good Citizens dine On Casseroles swamped with bottle Sauce, And sweet white Wine... I answered the Student in the Library, True! It’s true Good Citizens are a Bad Lot at Best, All but a Few, And you’re studying hard to improve on That? Good Luck to You!