RANDOM REMINDER

Press, Volume CX, Issue 32392, 3 September 1970, Page 15

RANDOM REMINDER

GRACIOUS ME

Were concrete proof of the inspirational qualities of this newspaper wanted, we have it right here in front of us in the form of a letter from one of our avid' readers, a levelheaded patriotic individual.

He starts off by sympathising with the trials and tribulations of Mr Muldoon and that gentleman’s concern over our overseas funds, especially since it has been rumoured that the E.E.C. may some day join Britain. But-‘-and this is where the power and the purpose of “The Press” comes in—after reading an article from a recent issue of this paper he was so inspired that he evolved a plan that be assures us will give our Minister of Finance a permanent smile and our typiste a temporary coronet

The article refers to titles of nobility being keenly sought by title-less Americans, and there being a great dearth of titles for sale in the newspapers of that great nation. Further on, the article mentions the fact thait about the year 1560, Jugoslavia, by Imperial decree, ennobled her entire population. What, he reasons, is to stop our Government from taking a leaf out of Jugoslavia’s book and creating all dinkum Kiwis dukes and their wives dinkum duchesses; with a proviso, to give credit where credit it due, all those who have passed University Entrance should be made princes or princesses depending on their statistics. His Majesty King Keith could then advertise titles for sale in the Personal Colurrin of the “New York Times” and “The American Legion Magazine.”

Qur article cited an actual case of an American business man paying £2500 for the title of Baron Quaranta di San Severino: no estates or money included.

With his computer sadly out of action, our correspondent was unable to calculate precisely the sum all our titles would eventually earn in overseas exchange, but he says he feels pretty safe in saying that, comparatively speaking, our present lamb sales to Britain would be cat’s meat. However, he finishes off in true kiwi humility by stating that as there would be more than enough in kitty to wipe out the national debt without disposing of his own particular title, he would respecfully suggest, especially seeing it was all his idea in the first place, that permission be granted for him to retain his dukedom.