YOUR CHILD Destruction Usually Unintentional

Press, Volume CX, Issue 32381, 21 August 1970, Page 3

YOUR CHILD Destruction Usually Unintentional

(By

NEIL THOMAS)

A mother I know heard gleeful cries from her garage one day. She opened the doors to find her three children awash in the the paint that their father intended to use in their bedrooms. They would hardly have soaked up more of the paint if they had plunged into a vat oi it

They could see little wrong in their action. Why was mum so angry. They were simply painting the inside of the garage. “What good kids we are,” they thought, until their mother found them.

A friend of mine stripped, peeled, and sanded the paper from his lounge walls one Saturday. He let his five-year-old son lend a hand, and praised the boy’s efforts.

He and his wife went out that evening while their 16-year-old son babysat He huddled over his books through the evening, studying for examinations. The parents returned to find the newly-papered walls peeled and stripped as only a five-year-old can do it All four walls were shredded as

far up as a five-year-old hand can reach.

Was the boy afraid—or sorry? Not on your life. He was proud as punch. My young brother once stuffed sand into the petrol tank of the family car. He saw it as a big help to the car.

My father saw scarlet, of course. He also made certain that some of the red he saw was on his son’s backside. Typical Cases

These are typical cases of destructiveness. Others would include:—

The boy who dismantles his toys and everything else in sight. The clumsy child. Everything he touches turns to pieces—broken ones. The child who scribbles and paints the walls and

window ledges. The child who does not know his own strength and always smashes things—including playmates.

’ Years after, you will ' reminisce and chuckle at . misdeeds like these. This ' hardly helps the child now. | You will find laughing painful now because you can see the destruction. (Imagine laughing over those paint soaked children.) In most cases the destruction is unintentional. Your child does not do it to antagonise you. You should punish him, certainly, or make him realise the foolishness or whatever of his action. More importantly, you should try to channel the energy he devoted to the act into something harmless. His biggest crime is usually ' that he is growing up. He dismantles things because he is intensely curious. This is a healthy sign. He bowls over lamps be cause he has not yet learned to co-ordinate his young body. He smashes things because he barely knows his strength. He pours sand in petrol tanks and peels paper from walls because he wants to help because he is industrious. He takes pen to wall because he wants to express himself on paper. Channel Energies Your imagination will tell you how to channel these energies to better ends. The wallpaper artist needs paper, paints and crayons. The clumsy child needs exercise, uncluttered play areas and patience. Give the dismantles some old clocks, record players and the like from the junk heap. This does not mean that you turn a blind eye when Johnny gets into his father’s paint again next week. But knowing that he enjoys painting, you should take advant age of his keenness. Have a painting time once

a day. Dress him in his fattiest clothes, give him a brush and water-based paint and stand clear while he attacks the back of the shed. He will lose interest in a week, his father will lose less paint and you will lose less temper.

A more serious form of destructiveness is the intentional type. I hope to deal with this in a later article.