Your Child BRINGING UP AN ONLY CHILD

Press, Volume CIX, Issue 32011, 11 June 1969, Page 3

Your Child BRINGING UP AN ONLY CHILD

(By

NEIL THOMAS)

Spoilt brat—how often have you labelled an only child with those words? Most of us have known a spoilt solo child or one whose brothers and sisters were many years older.

Does the only child have special needs? Do his parents have special responsibilities? Yes. And, ironically, the parents have more responsibilities in some ways than have the parents of a dozen children.

I The only child faces many problems that other children Ido not. He also has opportunities that many children do jnot have. If you are the parent of a solo child you can ihelp him surmount the problems and make the most of the opportunities. ; What are the problems? In Big Family ; Tom is one of seven childken. He fights with his brothers and sisters, collects bloody noses and scraped I knees like a squirrel collects l nuts. He learns to share, to i compromise, to wait his turn. iHe learns to squirm to the | head of the queue or to live 'with those who push ahead of i him. i He learns to take. He learns ; ito give, whether he wants to i ; or not. He learns to persuade, | Ito cajole. He learns the humi-i Ration of being “taken.” i Tom is embroiled in a pre j | cious learning process created I by a large family. His neigh-1 bour Anthony is not. He is; j an only child. | Anthony, however, enjoys I [many advantages. With six; fewer mouths to feed, his father has more money and! time to spend on and with' his son. Music lessons, good I schools, more educational , books and games and the pri-| vacy to enjoy them, more out-; ings, travel—all of these can I be Anthony’s lot. j

i If you have an Anthony i you should try to give him ’ the best of both worlds. To • do this you must recognise ■ that there are, in fact, two s worlds. In one world you must encourage him to mix with other children in his earliest years. Kindergarten, cubs, youth groups, clubs, camps, weeki ends with friends; all of these will help. You must make his friends welcome in his house for meals, for week-ends if necessary. Y'ou cannot duplicate the “bloody nose enviroment” but you can expose him to too much of it. This is a responsibility that Tom’s parents do not. fully i share with you. They have . created a kindergarten of hard i knocks by producing six broi thers and sisters for Tom. His parents do not need to teach hint how to share, for example. His brothers will teach him quickly enough. In the other world, you l

must make the time to encourage and nourish your Anthony’s abilities. (Assuming that you do want to give him the best of both worlds.) Teach Through Senses You may do this by the most effective yet simplest teaching equipment known to man: the senses. Let him see things like machines, art galleries, industrial concerns, zoos, aircraft. Encourage him to read. Let him touch farm animals, soil, trees. Help him to work with his hands. Let him hear music. Help him to meet and speak with interesting people and people of other races and backgrounds.

Let him smell the bush in springtime, flowers and fishing boats. Let him do things, to build tree huts, run machines, race bicycles and dig gardens.

The doors to both worlds are open as wide as you will make them for your only child. Make certain he expediences them both.