RANDOM REMINDER

Press, Issue 30997, 1 March 1966, Page 32

RANDOM REMINDER

SOUTHERN COOKING

The Federal leader of the Australian Labour Party (Mr A. A. Cal well) has announced that within two decades New Zealand will become two more of the United States, and now the best thing to do is to make the most of it. The South Island, obviously, would become the most southern state, and if there is no argument about that, the way ahead is clear. The South Island has many of the attributes needed to play the role history has cast it in: there is cricket, for instance, in Maryland, so that wouldn’t have to go by the board. We have to train our-

selves, as from now, to be true-blue southern gentlemen. We don’t want to become poor white trash, even if the ’possum stew would not be hard to acquire. If we don't have the blue grass of Kentucky, we have the racehorses, and a good many stately homes. So get busy, you layabouts, and start planting out the magnolias. And after dinner tonight, try yourself out on a Southern Comfort liqueur. There’s a thump in every thimbleful. There’s so much to be done, and not too much time to do it But enough to let the Spanish moss grow on the trees, and to get rid of some of the

sheep to make room for the cotton planting. It might be necessary to put a show boat or two on the Waimakariri: this is where the T.A.B. could establish a special branch. There would be no shortage of volunteers for the New Zealand-type Mississippi gamblers. And who’s to be Scarlet O’Hara? Look out for the rush. It might be wise to start using old army titles again, and drinking bourbon and branch water. Cunnel Random sounds quite pleasing from the southern tongue. So let’s all make a start with some of that old southern courtesy. As for me. suh, back to the mint julep.