Heard Melodies Are Sweet

Press, Volume CIII, Issue 30562, 3 October 1964, Page 12

Heard Melodies Are Sweet

(By

WHIM WHAM)

A Sale of Liquor Amendment Bill Introduced in Parliament this week proposes blanket approval for bands and orchestras to provide music in bars . . . Under present I.aw Licensees have been held to have committed an offence by allowing a small orchestra to play in a lounge bar.—News Item. When Everything else is too serious by Half, Our Licensing Laws are good for a Laugh. The Convivial Glass (as it’s quaintly described) Without Strumming or Song must be glumly imbibed. That Sign on the Wall of the Lounge or the Bar Prohibits the Mouth Organ, Banjo, Guitar: You mustn’t play Musical Instruments THERE, Or if you would sing, you must do it Elsewhere. If you wish to converse, do it quietly, don’t shout, It’s not fair to the Barman who’s trying to make out What the Racing Announcer is raving about. The House has its Rules, and the Object, of course, is To keep People’s Minds on the Drink and the Horses: When Music creeps in, their Attention relaxes, And THEN what becomes of the Takings—and Taxes? Sir, what can the Government mean bv this Measure? Can serious Drinking be mingled with Pleasure? Shall Bars become Scenes of mere frivolous Merriment. Is This not a rash legislative Experiment? And can it succeed, be It never so laudable, If the Band or the Orchestra’s wholly inaudible’ They won’t stand much Chance with their Strauss and their Sousa When the Five O’Clock Bedlam breaks out in the Boozer! A Swill is a Swill, Sir, in spite of All The Mirrors and Carpets from Wall to Wall And as for Orchestras—Fiddle-de-dee! The same old Swill that Swill will be