HOW MERE ARE NOISES ?

Press, Volume XCIX, Issue 29264, 23 July 1960, Page 12

HOW MERE ARE NOISES ?

(By WHIM WHAM) r "Mere noise, for Instance, does not constitute an offence.”—Annual report ot the Police Department. Mere Noise or Racket, Rumpus, Row or Din, Beating a Gong, performing on the Tin Whistle, or operating a Power Saw, Cannot be, of Itself, against the Law. One’s party-giving Neighbours do no Wrong, Racking our Nerves with Stamping and with Song, Speeding their parting Guests with happy Screams And murdering our Sleep, our peaceful Dreams. No legal Remedy’s provided for The hot-rod Boy who tunes his “Bomb” next Door The Rugby Addict, sitting up o’ Nights To hear the Test, is well within his Rights: Others, disturbed by What he most enjoys, Will not deny that Most of it’s MERE NOISE And consequently cannot constitute A Crime. There’s no Compulsion to be Mute, No Law to stop the Street’s incessant Clattering, Ear-splitting and nerve-shattering One’s Teeth on Edge, one’s Sanity unstuck By screeching Brake-drum or backfiring Truck, Get no Redress from timely Prosecution; MERE NOISE persists, it knows no Diminution. Where should we start, to check such loud Abuses? There may be, Sir (for All I know) Excuses For Those whom I would modestly suggest As proper Subjects for the Law’s first Test The Rubbish Man, or Refuse Operative, Who seems in his Behaviour illustrative Of Man’s crude Inhumanity to Man, In dealing with the streetside Garbage Can. Why can’t he set his emptied Dustbins down Gently on every Pavement of the Town? Why must he hurl them crashing to my Feet, Blasting my thoughtful Progress down the Street; After the Bin, the Lid, with wild Direction, Like Hell’s own Orchestra’s Percussion Section! Sir, is it my Neurosis I exhibit? Or is this one mere Noise we MIGHT prohibit?