A WE REPLIES ON THE AGE TO MARRY

Press, Volume XCVIII, Issue 28805, 28 January 1959, Page 2

A WE REPLIES ON THE AGE TO MARRY

[By PATRICIA A. HAYMAN!

“Are women content to face lonely widowhood rather than consider the advantages of marrying a man younger than themselves?” (This was a question asked in a recent article on the Women’s Page of “The Press.’’] My husband says I married him because he is two years older, two Inches taller, and two stone heavier than I am. There was always some doubt about the “two stone heavier,” but he is certainly two inches taller and two years older, and perhaps I should not have been so keen to marry him if he had not been. In the past a woman who was married in the Church of England vowed “to love, cherish and obey” her husband. In the revised version of the marriage service, she no longer promises to obey. Marriage is now said to be an equal partnership between the two, but is this really true? In cases of serious dispute between the pair, it is still felt that the wife ought to give way to her husband. After all, the busband is usually the breadwinner, and as such must make the final decision as to how and where the bread shall be won. Qualities Sought When I was looking for a husband I wanted a man that I could respect and obey. I did not want a boy to mother and boss. Nothing is worse than a marriage io which the wife wears the pants. I am certain that any moderately attractive woman has at least as much say in the choice of her mate as most men do. I chose a man I respect and usually obey. Men who have a long education cannot get married until their middle twenties. Women don’t often want to wait as long as that. It is asking much of a girl in her early twenties to consider seriously her old age. Are 20 years of frustrated spinsterhood so much better than 20 years of lonely widowhood? The widowed mother has her children and the memory of her husband, but a spinster often wonders if she will ever be ■ wife and a mother. Do young men mink more of their &d age titan young women?

Men are more prone to taking out Insurances for their retirement Men may be less keen than women to risk loneliness in their old age and insist that their wives be younger than they, in the hope that their wives outlive them. Birth of Children 1 understand that it is more of a strain both physically and emotionally to have a first baby at 35 than at 25. Certainly the older we get the more difficult we find it to adapt ourselves to change. Many women find that the arrival of their first baby makes more difference to their way of life than getting married did. I was lucky enough to have two babies before the age of 30. I am now having to work harder than I ever did before I got married, and I am glad that I am young enough and strong enough to enjoy the extra work. I am also glad that I am young enough to want to play with my children. When I am 40 I hope they will be old enough to help me with the housework. When I am 55 I ought to be a grandmother. Perhaps 1 shall live to see my greatgrandchildren. but when I think of them I realise that I should have got married at least 10 years younger.