Relationships With Aged Parents Reviewed By Dean

Press, Volume XCVI, Issue 28321, 5 July 1957, Page 12

Relationships With Aged Parents Reviewed By Dean

There was incompatibility when an aged parent came to live in a small house with a couple with three or four children, sSid the Dean of Christchurch (the Very Rev. Martin Sullivan) in the Cathedral yesterday. He was giving the first of six weekly lunch-hour addresses. His theme was “Love.” “Under those conditions love cannot operate. The conditions are crushing it,” said Dean Sullivan. “Those conditions cannot continue and some change is imperative.

“I say this very carefully ana very advisedly, because I do not wish to be misunderstood. i have no doubt a lot of persons will write letters to the newspapers when they know what I have said. “I want to make three suggestions. First, if houses were big enough to maintain continuity in a family we might begin to deal with this problem. Those who have a big enough house have a duty to keep their aged with them, as long as possible. Home for Aged “Second, the State, community and church are now building homes for the aged. If it is essential for you to put them in these homes it is not a denial of love. It is the only way for some to show it,” he said.

“Third, if persons have large enough sections, it would be worth consideration to try with Government or other help to build comfortable, detached and movable annexes on them. Aged persons could still be with then family and yet have independence. “To every single girl who may have to give up her prospects for the aged, I say look very long and very carefully before you do. If you take it as a vocation, that is fine, but do not drift into it or be forced into it or you may become sour and embittered,” said Dean Sullivan. To begin to settle human relationships harmoniously • with love was the beginning of a solution to the peace and harmony of the world. “How can you

love a black South African whom you have not seen if you do not love your brother whom you have seen?” he asked.

Finding Expression

Summarising his address, Dean Sullivan said ilove was a basic human experience and must find expression in all; it was best seen in marriage where the union was kept indissoluble, if both partners gave freely; it emerged in family relationships and especially in attitude toward the aged; it was seen in daily work, particularly when one found oneself alongside difficult or uncompromising persons, and from there it flowed out into the world beyond.

“In Biblical terms what I have been saying is ‘Love God and love your neighbour’,” said Dean Sullivan. All seats in the Cathedral were full for Dean Sullivan’s address. Several persons stood throughout.