HEADS THEY WIN

Press, Volume LXXXVII, Issue 26491, 4 August 1951, Page 6

HEADS THEY WIN

[By WHIM-WHAM] Representatives of the hatters’ industry, who made a survey at the Festival of Britain entrance turnstiles, have concluded that Britain is becoming a nation of hatless men. Of 226 men counted, 177 were hatless, 37 wore hats with snap brims, nine wore caps, one a homburg, one a bowler, and one a sports hat.—NeWs item. Hard Times for Hatters these must be No wonder they get Madl Increasing Hatlessness they see, Bare Heads bemock their Industry: Where is the Trade they had? Gone! Like the Garb of Yesteryear. Tledl Like the Froth pn last Night's beer,

Researchers, on your Marks Get set, . To probe the hidden Sources Of national Hattophobial Get The Facts for Weather, dry or wet, ; Fairs, Funeral?, Racecourses! Get Figures’ Hats you meet Per Inch of . Rain, per Yard of Street. You too, Psychiatrists, prepare Reports on Hat Com-plexes: Take Gallup Poll, and Questionnaire: Why do you like your Cranium bare? What is the vogue that vexes? (State Age and Income Group, and whether, And on which Side, you wear a ‘Feather). Is it some frightful Undertow Beneath the Social Tide, Betrayed where Men bareheaded go, Uncapped, uncrowned, and shameless show The Heads they well might hide? Qr do those roofless Scalps portend Some sound, progressive Social Trend?

Ah, Hatters! Never be it said That Man shall raise no Bonnet Or Bowler (with a Hand well-bred', Or Bureaucrat his ugly Head Without a Homburg on it! Thus topped, at least he knows (poor Wreck), He’s not ALL Bone above the Neck.