"HALF-BAKED CLERICS."

Press, Volume LXII, Issue 18636, 10 March 1926, Page 11

"HALF-BAKED CLERICS."

10 IHB ZMTOB OF "THE PBrS9." Sir,—The Hon. L. M. Isitt, M.L.C., is reported to have said at the Methodist Conference in Hunedin:— "There are a few haif-baked clerics who have eat at the feet of Armstrong, who is really the mouthpiece of the liquor party. It is hardly possible to conceive a more degrading picture than that of a. leader of the church sitting at the foot of that man, and taking instruction from him." This afternoon I was having a chat with a friend of mine, who is, I fear, one of the ''half-baked." He was so flushed, excited, and unwontedly voluble that 1 am compelled to suspect that he had been imbibing cocoa or something nearly as bad. "I'm fair chewed up," he exclaimed. "He's doue me to a cinder. He must save forged Gordon Bell's name." "What's it about?" I asked. He showed me "The Press" with the above paragraph, and explained.: "You know I belong to the L.R.A. I joined it because 1 thought Bell had written asking me to co-operate with him, and Williams and James. And now I find it's all a horrible swindle. There's no Bell, no Williams, no James. They're all Armstrong, tor about two years I have been sitting at the foot of Armstrong, and haven't known it! I have thought that three years ago Williams came to Christchurch and explained his "Corporate Control" to us, but it wasn't Williams—it was Armstrong camouflaged as a Canon. I'm ashamed to think what a greenhorn, what a halfbaked worm I've been. However, I'm glad that old Ephraim has at last shown Armstrong up." "Ephraim" I said. "Whatever is Ephraim?" "Oh." he replied: "That's my pet name for the Honourable Leonard. I like to give Scriptural nick-names to my favourite public men." "But why Ephraim." "Oh." he returned with an evasive air. "Just a fancy of mine. Sounds nice. But by thunder!" and again he became explosive. "I'd like to find a name for Armstrong. If ever I meet him, I'll fairlv dehorn him, and twist off his tail. Why, man, he's the d " and he fiercely whispered the accursed nanie. "Come, come," I said "that's very intemperate of you." "No, No," he 'wildly rejoined, "he's worse than that. He's sunk nearly low enough to be an ed- ." "Stop," I sternly shouted, and I pointed out to my poor friend that such an expression would be actionable. After leaving my-poor "half-baked" friend, I thought again about "Ephraim." With the aid of a concordance, I discovered the following: "Ephraim, he hath mixed himself among the people; Ephraim is a cake not turned. Strangers have devoured his strength, and he kn.oweth it not; yea, grey hairs are here and there upon him, yet he knoweth not." Iwa-s fascinated by 'the striking metaphor, "Ephraim is a cake not turned," so I turned to Vaughan, whom I now quote: "A cake not turned; one side overdone, the other underdone. Nothing even and equable in the compound. Here a lump of dough, and there a cinder. How applicable to some characters to which we can scarcely deny the title of religious. How often, have we seen in such persons, zeal without tenderness; .energy without repose; eagerness for what they deem truths, without charity towards those whom they count in error; a distortion, for themselves and others, of the whole proportion, and balance of the Gospel, by pressing one truth as if it were all the truth, and casting into the shade of practical disregard other things which a more impartial reader would see to occupy a primary place." I must find out what is a "halfbaked." Meantime I am wondering whether- I would /rather be a "halfbaked" or a "not turned cake." My "half-baked" friend, at all events has enabled me to discover the Intemperate Prohibitionist in the pages of Hosea. i . The Hon. L.M. will recognise me, so, Sir, please allow roe consistently to append by half-baked signature.—Yours, etc., -- A.H.N. Cashmere Hills, March Bth.