A HUMORIST ON HUMOUR.

Press, Volume LVIII, Issue 17451, 11 May 1922, Page 12

A HUMORIST ON HUMOUR.

BBIOHT EPICtBiAMS. .t. may ; sound like, boasting in these days,, but. I can honestly say thatl Have never murdered" anybody, not even an editor;'' * daid '. - 'Mr' . Thomas Jay,, of "Punch,"' in the course of a speech to the' Bristol Kotaty Ohib* recently. "I 'am sorry l'cduid not. threaten you with some' ptr.er; and more;'., cheeriui subject than t aiter a lunch, winch tempts me to paraphrase the wartime itogad 'to "Bism'uth:as 'Usual.' " , Mr Jay proceeded to various remarks, including the following: . The Government dees not. propose to live Vithin : ( its income. .•' only witum - l'lie 'only side of politics 1 like is thfe war we were .told. we fighting lor dear life. . ,and jwo'w. kot' it.all right. Upinion is that when tne.meek come to inherit the 'earth' the taxes' will be sp 1 high that thejr 'w.ill fpiego- the claim. The ditierjehce between 1 .death .and taxation' 'is.- death, is, -sometimes , painless. Prices in; shop. windows .were ail indication, of value. . . . now they'are aft indicfitioir'"of"nerve. ' Prohibition is a great thing if it can make a corkscrew lead a straight life. Arflerica has prohibition, and the Statue of Liberty, is tip for sale. The only thing allowed'to.'get tight in America 'is money. Don't let us talk about business. ... it isn't resnpctful to.speak of the dead.- 'We owe a lot to America. jEdkon iaid vpe used to sleep too much. So .he invented the gramophone. 1 ' Gr6lif originated in Scotland, (and that probably .accounts f or'so'iiia'ny Scotsmen .escaping :to England.' (Rolf is a gamp in which the .ball lies well. . . and the plaver badly.... Scotsmen are never in danger ofbqing overcrowded at home,' while, there is room in Englniid. Some credit Scotsmen with introducing. the haggis. That isn't a credit' ...it's'a debit. Bagpipes are all right if- people would only let- thorn alone.