TOPICS OF THE DAY.

Press, Volume XLIX, Issue 14660, 8 May 1913, Page 6

TOPICS OF THE DAY.

i Local competitions are An frequently provocative Amusing of a copious fund of Competition, merriment, but the palm in, this respect should surely bo awarded to an amateur actor competition at the International Cinematograph Exhibition recently held at Olympia. Competitors were- provided with a stago, an audienco, and a set "part," and expected to act as if for the camera, stress being laid, of course, on capacity for feature-play. A typical set part was as follows:—A man (or I woman) returns to a garret after a j fruitless search for work. On the table is a letter. He picks it up without lookj ing at tho address. It announces that n relative has left him £20,000. Then j ho notices that tho envelope is addressed to someono else. At first he is furious, then-he sees tho funny side of it and laughs. Most of the competitors came on assured of producing an electrifying effect on their audiences. But tho audiences would not bo electrified, and persisted in treating tho wholo thing as a huge joke. A long-haired young man would stalk on to tho stage, roll his eyes, in the most approved fashion, hunch up his shoulders and beat his breast, whilo tho audienco roared with laughter. Somo scurried through their performance as if they hardly liked to intrude; others drew out the agony to its utmost limit. One expressed merriment by rolling about on the floor, another accompanied tho reading of tho letter'by the most horrible grimaces. Every conceivable kind of interpretation was given, and most of them .succeeded in being unconsciously amusing. Not less funny were some of tho letters which accompanied many of tho ;"jOO entries for the competition. One young lady stated:—"! should ]ikoto try, us I know I have tho talent. My ago is seventeen, and I have riot much spare time as I am in service." A thirteen-year-old would-bo actress calmly answered, "I am confident I can -undertake such work." An Essex youth referred to his face as his "dial," which ho conimneded "for tho expressions I can put into it. A baroness agreed to compete provided her name did not appear in tho newspapers. A presumably burly person from S£ockport wished to take up cinema acting, an he was ''anxious to say go and givo tho villain one, so that ho would never get up again, so that tho young woman who longs to nestle in the arms of the hero can do so without any fear." Ono of the most curious applications, however, was from a Yorkshire foundryman, who wroto: —"I have a parrot, pigeons, and a half-cat half-monkey wliich kisses mo with delight. If you would send mc a return ticket I would bring them complete with rfryself. I think I could win tho gold medal, which yon could have back to cover co3t of ticket." The confidence of "somo of thesfc people in their own powers is pathetic.

j . The Arab saying, Adventurous that '-Allah created ] Motorists. the English mad, the ! niaddes-t of all man- ■ kind." c:in, be understood when one I reads a recently-published book .about Ithe exploits of two Englishmen in i Africa, entitled "To Mcnelek With ; a Motor.'' The Emperor Menelek ; wanted v motor-car. Of course the I article could hare been despatched to 'him in pieces by rail nnd caravan and put together when they arrived; but it occurred to Mr Bedo Bentlcy (son 'of the noted architect of Westminster Cathedra)) that it would bo more sport- . ing and also give the Abyssinians a , higher opinion of motor-cars, if he were :to drive tho whole way across country I from the Gulf of Aden to Adis JAdoba. Told that the route was tin;safe, Mr Montloy smiled, and proceeded J with his preparations. He engaged as [assistant one Reginald Wells, who, '. being .asked if ho would care to go to Abyssinia, replied, "Yes, sir," and then I asked, after a discreet pause, "Where's J that, sir?" A dog, named Bully, also I took part in tho expedition. He was, says the "Daily Mail's" critic, '"one !of the most delightful dogs I have ever come, across —in a -book." Many were tho vicissitudes of these adventurous motorists, described by Mr Clifford Halle. Encounters with desert tribesmen, who thought tho motor was a railway come to ruin their caravan trade, were frequent. The native "boys," too, were a fertile source of trouble. Ono, who was assistant cook, was caught stealing whisky, and enraged at being discovered, he poisoned some coffee. Luckily he was seen to drop something jinto the cup, and when he served the J coffee, ho was compelled to drink it 'himself. It proved fatal. Several times "bridges had to be built for tho car across rivers and ravines. At ono point it could only travel across soft sand by having planks laid down for a few yards and then taken up and carried forward, and so on. When tho party arrived in the capital, the car was polished up before being presented to tho Emperor, in order to remove traces of wear. The feat was undoubtedly a plucky one, but all the same, one feelsthat if a person were in tho Emperor's place he would bo inclined to resent tho liberties taken in this astonishingly reckless manner with his new motorcar.