IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXVI, Issue 13906, 3 December 1910, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

« : — "How is this patent beetle powder to be applied?" asked as old lady who had purchased some of the article to deal with those lively insects. "Give 'em a teaspoonful after each meal," answered the brilliant young pharmacist, as he returned to the perusal of "Wild William of the West; or, A Cowboy's Cruel Caroline." The editor wrote: "Dear Madame: The verses entitled 'The Kiss , are veiy clever. Can you assure mo that they are original?" The authoress answered: "Sir: Not quite, 'The Kiss' was a collaboration." —"Cleveland Leader." "Remove the sting of a wasp or bee with a watch key, pressing fhe place with it; then rub the sting with a slice of raw onion, moist tobacco, or a damp blue bag."—"Daily Mirror." Press gently, dry, dust with, boracic powder, and return it to the bee (or wasp).—"Punch." "You claim to be a sailor," Knitted the doubtful housewife. "Yes mum," hastened the tar, as he took in a reef in his trousers. "But you don't make use of that nautical expression, 'Shiver my timbers.'" "Oh, no mum: I say, 'Shiver my gasbag' or Shiver my wings.' I'm an airship sailor, mum." At school David had great difficulty with his arithmetic problems, and his teacher tried in vain to make him understand. Finally, to bring the matter home, he said: "If 1 should go into your father's shop and say I wanted two pounds of meat, and he had only a pound-and a half, what would he do?" The boy thought profoundly for a moment, and then said: "He would make up the weicht with his thumb?"