IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXV, Issue 13614, 24 December 1909, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Teddy, after having a drink o&phur. soda water; was asked hmr he lflfed i*. "Not very well," he ; *»plie__ ;/ It tastes too'much as ""£ *°°* had goneiisleep in mj*m<solk."~' :

"I understand that the loaiuteer ii paying fabulous salaries to his Kgtding singers," said the inquisitive resferter"Not fabulous," rejoined "the <%-ic-i advance agent—"fictitious." .\

"Father," said U-tteOtolld. "wfiatf is the arctic circle?" ' ~ "The arctic circle, my son, ia aa imaginary line bounding: a aie» of uncorroborated evidence." $fe'

Golfer: "The day I get round^thesolinks in under a hundred, I'll gr*& you • a chilling, Sandy!" ; Caddie: "Hoo will I want it .Jrhaa I'm drawin' mo auld-ago pension P"—"Punch."

"Effie," said Margie, who waa laboriously spelling words from a first reader, "how can I is a 'di- ana which is a V??- . _ ;. ■ "Why," replied Efiße, wisely, if'the 'd' has its tummy on its back.

Wife : (rcrmimscmg)." Terj; nearly didn't marry you, John.'? John (absent-mindedly) i"I know—but who told you?" -; -'-• ••''•',

It was the day of-the local'-crfcke_ match, and a youth, onljryuet come to live in theiocalitjr was selected to play -for the home team, solely on his own recommendation -as a. bowler. After he had bowledr!af couple of overs and had abqttjj ;_^Siij_jrscored off him without the home captain went np'tb him audi said, "Whatever are you doing, young fellow? Are you bowlingforj catches or to hit the replied the unabashed bowler,"' r 'F_a howl-* ing for run-oute." " " _. "

Small Charlotte, net "yeb'f&at years old, was £ifted with aw't*fmdL r an ijhaginat.on that, her mother "jbegsm tol he troubled "by her fairy tpie£ *u§ felt it time to talk seriously to .her. Tjpott -the beauty of truthfulness. of the impression she had made, she closed with the warnltig_.ll__ti';a chh'k. who spoke untruthfully] w__dctvnot'- be wanted in heaven.

Oharitotfe «rasidtere<-.<•__, ancr_£ent and then said:

"Well, IS-e been to Chiea£o£*<Mice and to tho theatre twice, eaid I, "dtfn't s'ppse I can expect to jge eveTyTj-Seret'* •

' Garden Notes will be found on. page 6 of this issue., .