IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXV, Issue 13378, 20 March 1909, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

An earnest young preacher in a remote country village concluded a long and comprehensive supplication by saying: "And now let us pray for those who aro dwelling in the uninhabited portions of the earth."—"Standard.''

Ella: "Bella never passes a mirror without looking in it." Stella: "Brave girl!"—" Harper's Weekly."

Papa was about to apply the strap. "Father," said Willie, firmly, "unless that, instrument lias been properly sterilised I desire to protest." This gave the old; man pause. "Moreover," continued Willie, "the germs that might bo released by the violent impact of leather upon a oorous textile fabric, but lately expos-wl to the dust of the streets, would bo apt to affect you deleteriously." As tho strap

fell from a nerveless hand, Willio sloped.—"Philadelphia Ledger." Patrick Jones, New York's superin-t'-ndciit of school supplies, was tulking at a dinner about e'orporal punishment. "Corporal punishment in our schools is no more." he said, "anel that is a gixxl thing. Undeniably, tho', many a Ikj.v sbowctl wonderful pluck. "I remoml>er a boy named. Bill. .Bill, breive fellow, was doing miserably ono day in a geometry recitation.

" 'Now. sir," said the schoolmaster savagely, "for the last time, what is the square of tho hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle equivalent to?' *' 'It's equivalent to a lick in' fer mc, sir. There's the club,' said Bill." "Boslein 11-_i'«ilel."

Commenting on the report of a meeting of a Bums Club in Scotland, the "We-.-tniiiis.tor Gazette" says:—Wo read the retort of the meeting until wo on mc to this passage in tho speech of the heal orator who proposed. "The lin mon :il Memory."and tv;is s.x-aking of tlie tiiigeely of the etui : "Could-thev trace that tragedy tuiel that triumph to its intestine's and its surroundings." It teas long before we realised that for

"intestines" "antecedents" should- bo read. That rcn-rter has immortalised another confusion in reading a shorthand iii*te.