IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXIV, Issue 136099, 25 April 1908, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

A cynic writes to tho ""Westminster Ga-zctto" that tho effect of tho Licensing Bill will bo to "take tho water out of the stock and put it into tho bee.r."

A synonym hat? beon neatly defined Gβ a word upon which, ono can fall back when ono does not know how to spell the one first thought of.

She.—l always think of motoring as tho .poetry of motion. He—Yes, until the- machine breaks down. Then it becomes blank verse.

"What's tho ouriouß-looking charm you aro wearing on your watch-chain•?" "That is our new coat-of-a-rme—chauf-feur rampant, policeman couohaavt, ju&tioe of the peace expectant."

"But I shall always be a brother to yon," he murmured.

"If I had any use for a brother," she replied sweetly, "I could reecih under t:ho sofa a>nd cwt owe rigSrt now." —"Philadelphia Public Ledger."

OPEN-MOUTHED EXPECTATION. My grajidpa notes the world's worn cogs And says we re going to the dogs. His grandad in his house of logs Swore things were going to tho dogs. His dad, amid the FLomisih bogs, Vowed things were going to the dogs. The cure men, in his queer skin togs, Said tihinig3 wero going to the dogs. Rut this is what I wklh to state: The dogs have had an awful wait. —"Washington HeraW."

On. tho Qcoasiton of a recent visit of th' 3 Pri'iioo of "Wales to t-he Houso of Commons Mr John Burns had a can versa*! cm with his Royal Hisjhnees. Amd a.fterwnjds Mr "Willie" Rectmond approached the President of the Local Govornmen.t Board. "You soem on g'ctfnl terms with tho Prince," ho remarked. "Do you think you could persuido his Rjovial Hiioih'nipiss to smoke an Irie'i cfeaT?" "Sir," replied Mr Uiiriis. "i'it is idro du.ty of his Majesty's Miniisvters to protect the heir-ap-pjjrent from attempted assassination."