"SPINDRIFT."

Press, Volume LXIII, Issue 12933, 12 October 1907, Page 12

"SPINDRIFT."

a— (OTICIAIXY WRITTEN FOE " TBTB PRESS.") In spite of all temptations to belong to other nations, Mr Keir Hardie ie again assuming orthodox British colouring. Ho claims to have voiced nothing more upsetting than might be aim pored any afternoon over my lady's muffins and tea cups, end upon tho etrf-ngth of an assumption that Indian .journalistic enterprise han daehcd tho blood-reds and dark browns into the picture much too lavishly, the Mayor of Wellington intends adhering lo his original purpose of according tho unspeakable Scot a public reception. "A deputation from tho Domestic Servants' Union," a newspaper paragraph of yesterday's date affirms, "wae received by the Coacbworkers' Union asking for assistance in their coming fight." When the male unioniit contemplates laying violent hands upon his employer's treasury cheat, he designates tho episode o dispute. ; Meat-handed Phyllis, however, eyes picking o bono of legal contention with tho mifwue somewhat differently, and proclaims it, baldly, a fight. Perhaps she is correct, but it seems so catf like to say so. Tho poet of the marKot-pWo has never yet contrived to achieve lasting fame. On the other hand, kings of the brush have lent their talents to pushing the soap and pill trades with delightful euccese. But, somehow, poetry and . commercialism can never be happily wedded. Even the courting atages arts strewn with disaster. The dog-eared laurels of doggerel are invariably blasted At tb.-e.ir unfolding, thanks be! Culling at random from bouquets most readily available how does this trip? ("This," a stanza uprooted from amid the vivid versification of a country trader who "Trice to keep from going flon. by selling lollies and ginger pop.',) "Ho also keeps a small-goods Shop, In which- Pigs heads come out on top, But a Pie/ or a Bay. or a pound of , Lard Iβ not to be sneezed at when times are hard." Doubtless a pound of Lard would prove ft (very present help in time of need, to cay nothing of, nor to sneeze at, the fortuitous Say I - But what shall be thought of this— the inodvet garnishing of a southern innkeeper's label, which one might hand l down, all unsuspecting, to posterity, lovingly attached to the family gripP "I've always taken the greatest care In selecting my whisky, wine, and beer." Simply that. Whether care should be rendered as "keir/ ' or "beer" as 6 "bare," the label is coyly silent. Probably the former is correct, because beer is .usually beer so long as it is em- , ployed with keir. If not, of course, it becomes wrong—a condition of matters ;•■•• not contemplated 'by the present order ;'; 'm > reference. Hero is another cluster of Southern gem* of licensed thought: ;;.«'; "For tourists' information, ■\: —. *' Te fi«*"Ol*se accommodation; J tVilliora will find the landlord very kind. v ' ■■■"' Heart -v warm an fire. |> ; - Ottiaine all they can desire;" ■ t And y»t it is claimed, in mournful r atonlber«, that the liquor traffic has no l':i soul above the desolation of happy V'/- .' JUbonr Bay approached on feet of j cHpJ* 'velvet, and passed us 'by as a thief ■#;!lttt;ibp' nignt--eo soon, faded it away. ;■ :A Ibrisk easterly returned with thanks ',•■', -atrCd other inconsidered trifles, the duet i,c; offered up at the business-«nd of the ,«t»iv'e matutinal engagements earlier in ts Ww week, while the liberated toiler ■t*, (inlißng, for the nonce, the subsidised j- «r of freedom) and his patient spouse 'off the gaily crowing, bibbed ~4 i& Sild bltw-Dowed home possessione of m- ?' 01 f*fltile felicity to the sad sea waves, sßfffi'o*Mother tryetinfit-plaoea appointed /or f|a s l|'; Hippy, 'day. , '. 'The feetival was rewitih coldly flatulent oondescen- : J- moaby the elernenta, but Labour won i,o;"ihxoilik vrQk a light heart and a dry ,§; I Jacket 5 and, having returned its. spouse «)(Mf the infantile felicity to their rightniches among tbo household gode. te r|i its ham, rough hand to the l,vj- the working morrow. 'N;^::: ,I ';'//; The barbers of 'Auckland are, disin- !■";';• V : pitied; to adopt the principles of asep- ; iip »urj»ry suggested.by Dr.-Mason, 5 ■ unless tneir profession is conceded im-t-ili'v..inumty from the perfumed pirates who Mf- oat hair at • out prices. Dr. Meson ''■;%' '»gree* that this demand \a fair; hence i*** , - k-otto '.of bhe probabilities of the urgent ,';>, future is that he who would be shaved -.•■', with a reasonable prospect of chiving i anew another" day, will have to pay tv : f»ntnr price for the privilege. Another v ' contingency is that a premium may be 1 placed upon tseini-rivisection by berfl hefs 1 »pprenticea, induced by more ■' than partial impact between one's countenance and a razor waved by hands not entirely great. So long as ' efßcient antiseptics are available, and ! w th* raeor is well-boiled between custoniore, one can be'eut and come again with the utmost impinity. Tnero should be a Urge edition of ' human doonmonte illustrated with cuts in, the hygienic days to como.