IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXIII, Issue 12903, 7 September 1907, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

A email boy with an enquiring tnrn of mind looked at his father earnestly and asked: — "Father, what are wrinkles ?" "Fretwork, my son, fretwork," replied paterfamilias confidently. HE SAW THE MATCH. "Cen I get off to-morrow, sir? My grand " "Your grandmother died last week, Johnny." "Yes, sir. An' to-morrow grandfaddor's goin' to be married again. " ORIGIN OF A BAD REPUTATION. Bluebeard's wife had just peeped into the forbidden chamber. "it was the kitchen," he explained, and the cook always enapped their heads off for doing it." Thu3 wo see how tho ages have maligned the poor man's character.— "New York Sun." "Lamb's Tales from Shakespeare' , is on«> of our reading-books (writes "Schoolmaster" to the ''Manchester Guardian"), and the play read had been "Hamlet." The pupils were asked to give their version of the story, and her* is an exact copy of one youthful effort:—"Hamlet" was one of the princes of Denmark, one night Hamlet's mother was nic queen of Denmark, and killed tho king to marry hie uncle and it was not law full. One day while the queen was in one of the roonw Hamlet caught held of her and held hor fast and she began to scream and the chief counciler beared her and shouts Help help the queen and hamlet hearing the voise stabbed where he heard the voice and it was the chief counciler. Then the queen eaio what a rash and bloody deed you have done, and Hamlet said not as bad as yours who kills a king and marries his uncle.

AN UNDELIVERED SPEECH. (Lampoon on Mr Roosevelt, by MoLandburgh Wilson in the New York "Sun.") My friends, Tβ gather hero to-day That Bunker Hill bo not forgot. Which same reminds mc to remark The railroads are a -nicked lot. The men of independence times Wore mighty heroes, one and all, And, speaking of that very thing, The baby crop is much too small. We thrill to think of Washington, Who crossed the ice in midnight stealth, And apropos of that I say The Income-tax should punish wealth. Tho charter of our liberties Makes every fervent heart beat. higher, Thus in conclusion I would say Somebody is a mollycoddle, undesirnblo citizen, reactionary, wee filing, or liar.