THE SACCULAR SEA SERPENT

Press, Volume LXII, Issue 12591, 6 September 1906, Page 4

THE SACCULAR SEA SERPENT

Br BXOUGHTOH BXANDXNBVXC. "You can alius lam somethin' from the other feller," said Limpy Hawos slowly, one rainy afternoon as he broke open a bale of hay, for the elephants. "It's odds on he's been some place and seen somethin' you hain't, and no man can't know too much so long as he's got tji live on tho same earth with wimmen."

Ho scattered the hay along the line headed by the King of Menagerie Cay; listened to the noise of the circus in the main tent to tell which set of turns was on in order to measure his leisure, then flung his quid at an empty corn barrel, jam I knew a story was coming.

"If Doo Smith, Doogan-Dhugann, and the Old Man had listened to mc there wouldn' none of what I'm a-goin' to tell you 'a' happened. "Y'eee the crops was bad out West and tho show was doin' purty poor in August the season this thing happened. Tho Old Man gits an offer to take the show East to Babylon City, ell the big hott'lkeepers along the broadwalk agreein' to guarantee him so many thousand a day. He signs a contrack, cancels all the road dates except one more week, and begins shippin' heavy truck from the show straight to Babylon City. It would 'a' been all right if he'd 'a' stopped £here, but he figgered there'd got ta be 6omo strong pTeschagent and advance work done to make September pay, and .lie shipped Doc Smith on to handle the newspapers, and DooganDhugann, that highly edicated IrishScotch diangfool, to help him. 'Course I had ta git tangled up with them, bein' put in charge of the big elephants jtiid all the extry critters sent on ahead. If Trouble was a bull, you kin jest bet I'd be a red rag. "Well, sir, travellin' East them fellers begun to work already. That euro looked like a bad sign from the front. They were buttin' their, heads agMn the oar winders tryin' to think up some new press-agent gag. that hadn't never been sprung. I Ken'- a-sayin' to 'em, they better stick to the old ones, but no, sir, they wouldn' lissen; they wouldn' liave none of it. They wanted wmcthin' brand new and, by jingy hickles, they got it. They sartinly got the newest thing that ever busted out a' tho misty future inta the roar of the present. "Senso it was a show they were apluggin', and our show was purty strong on menagerie, tho fake they was hopin" to build must have some thin' to do with critters. I purt' near went down on my knees beggin' 'em to stay insido the bounds and turn loose a couple a' twenty-foot snakes to ramble down tho broadwalk till they were ketched, or let one a' the old family chums a' toothless lions-git out and go for a santcr along the beach jest when the childern was bein' took inta tho ocean wavee. No. sir, it must be new, and I reckon what I said about snakes must 'a' give Doogan-Dhugann for all of a sudden he begun tp jig up 'n' down 'n' laugh fit to kill. " 'I got it,' says he, 'I got it—a saccular sea-rarpent!' » '"A circular wlvat!' says Doc. ' 'I said saccular ' . "Then he explained that up to that time fcca-sarpents lutd been confined to masters' and first mates' advatizin' some new Scotch licker, but that none badn' never gallivanted up, hoary-head-ed and glarin', from the eaves a' Nepchune to call at a seaside resort where five thousand families in swimmin' would bo thero to welcome him to their city. " 'Great, by the jumps a' Juno! Great!' says Doc Smith, 'but, Limpy, am I wrong when I surmise there liain't a snake critter with the show that wo kin turn loose in this salt water P' "I nods my head most emphatic. " 'Heaven forgive you,' says Doog. so sorrowful I thought he'd cry. 'Ain't tou got any more kindlin' "fancy to build upon the skeleton of my great idee! Don't you know what saccular

means? I'm goin' to make ono out a' rubber gas-bags co's if 11 float on tho waves and by bobbin' up 'n' down ack like real life, and when wo plant her a couple a' miles from shore, if she don't wako up interest in animal lifo nlong this broadwalk, I ain't no mechanic.' " 'Say, Doog, we got ta have the mayor 'r some leadin' citizens out there to sco it clost up co's to give mo a leadin' lino in tho papers and make it convincin'. "The mayor of Babylon City sees-a genuine sea-sarpent," says Doo £}mith. and I had a kind of a wettowel feelin' down my back, for I knowed I was goin' to be a third partner in a state of Continyous Anxiety terminatin' maybe in a close-fittin' suit of tar 'n' feathers, cut a la Jersey. 'Well, sir, them fellers couldn' work too fast 'r too hard gittin' ready. Doog Tuns away to New York 'n' shows up in a day 'r two with a shakin' hand, a watery eye, and a loss of appetite, but he brung back twelve gas-bags of fine rubber shaped like bolsters when they was blown up, and a little gas-tank 'bout a foot high that'd make enough gas to float a bond issue,, says ne. Also he had a lot a' paints, tin scales, false hair, and silk for makin' Mr Snakie's britches. Doc Smith"wore his Prince Albert all tho time them days and jined all the beefsteak clubs and jest mixed it up local in general. We hadn't been there three days before ho was out drivin' with the' mayor. Also he finds a young goslin' by the name of Albertus AlfredsOn, who wrote 'Seaside Saunterings' for the papers in the summer and shovelled coal and smoked cigarettes in the winter. The only place them fools would lissen to mc was on not lettin' Ally in on the game. Says I, 'Don't do it, don't tellhim nothin': if he'd ketch the smallpox he couldn' Keep it.' "While they was plannin' I goes right ahead gittin" ready for the show, though I kep' a-sLghin' and a-feelin? down-sperited, for somethin' kep' asayin' mebbe it wasn't no use, mebbe there'd never be no show.

"Four days before the s<how was to come the wliolo a' Babylon City and all 'long down the Jersey coast was waitin' tor ..it. I says to Doo Smith that we was sure to do a good business and he better not turn tho gas inta tho seasarpent. _ '• 'No. sir.' says he, 'I don't give that up. Its the greatest pross-ngent job «ence Artcuius Ward was born. It's got to go. It will attrack moro attention than a earthquake.' "Attention! Blowin' Gabriel! "The next mornin' Doog come up to mc all grinnm', tickled to death wibh hisself. " 'The lovely beast is all ready. Doo will bo down in a nrinit; then we'll go in any try it in the big tank.' "I seen that all the doors was tight shot and none a' my men wasn't peepin' in the cracks; then Doog pulls out a bundle no biggern a sack of flour.

'• 'It's all in here,' he says. 'You and I'll go out in a boat early to-mor-row mornin' about six miles, we'll blow up each gas-sack, makin' the ones in the middle big and the ones at the tail littler.'tie on bin beautiful striped overcoat, button on his interest in' head and the little weights and clockwork to Jet out the gas and make him sink in just two hours. Then wo will hustle back

Doo Smith can't wait to tell his share and he busts right in:

" 'Before I start out with the mayor, Alderman O'Shaughnossy, Jake Schnittermacher of the Beefsteak Club, and the others for the morning fishin', I'll run tho lanch clost up, give 'em a good look, then turn and scoot for the shore. The wind and tide will have brung it in to about two miles from tho beach before we git back, and it will come a mile closter so's everybody can see it from the beach, then it will go down— into the—briny deeps forever, taking its ghastly secret to its ocean grave.' "Doc Smith, says this very theatre-like, whisperin' the last about the briny deeps as if he was stealin' the old mau s will from the safe., in tho secofcd act.

I "All this time Doogan-Dhugann was ' workin' away with his bags and gasmachine, and to git tho upper hand a' my feelin's I wont outside to see if they's anybody around the door. When I came in og'tn, tak'm'oath there's the durndest lookin' thing floatin' in that tank you ever seen in all your born days. I went all of a tremble thinkin' about the mayor and the alderen the next day.

"It was plumb forty foot along and two foot through in tine middle, and it was black on top and red, yoller, and black striped underneath, tho colour scheme bem' on the tight silk overcoat Doog had slipped on aim. Two big bat's wings on foldin' umbrella-frames stuck out on each side, held up by a thin, wide, flat gas-bag. And ite head! Oh, my golly! Eyes of painted isinglass big as soup-plates, a long fringe of green and yeller hair round its red mouth, and great big red nose-holes. Doog had put a hand fog-horn insido the jaws and some more clockwork and gas-bags, and all to onct it went 'Waugh—au—ought!' like a mad bull. "Says I to them: " 'Don't you reckon it's jest as much murder to skeer an alderman 'r two

to death as it is to stick a knife inta 'emP'

"They both stopped laughin' right quick and looked eeryous. " 'Aw, shucks, I won't take 'em clost enough in the lanch to really skeer 'em to death,' says Doc, purtendin' ho ain't kind a' shaky hisself. "Well, sir, you can purt' near guess my feelin's. I went from that shed straight down town and found out what trains was leavin' town'about that time a' day, and where they could be ketched outside a' the city limits. I made up my mind to stick till the last horn blowed, but it looked to mc as if Doog and Doc was goin' to git all the 'attention' they was lookin' for. "Early next mornin' I goes down to the dock and there was Doog waitin' with one a' them put-a-put-n-sput gas'lene boats and some fishin'-tackle for a bluff. In the bottom was the little gasmachine and tho bundle with the flat-tened-out gas-lwgs and the red, yeller, and black overcoat for Snakie.

"Tak'm'oath I felt like I was gottin' ready to mako myself at homo in a morgue. " 'And you will do it?' 6ays I to Doog. "And he says, 'I will.' "The waves wasn't runnin' none too high for the little boat we had, but plenty big enough to give Snakie a fino naoh'ul swimmhv motion. We gets out about the right distance jest on the aidge of the fishin'-banks, and we begins makin' the saccular beast, as Doog called it. First w'd fill a bag from the machine, then shove it inside that appallin' overcoat. Somehow it didn't go as smooth as it did in the shed with the tank. Wo must 'a' been morn an hour gittin' Snakie ready to float. The wind was blowin' inshore fine, and I seen that when we let him go he'd float right up to the beach, where all the guests of Babylon City would be bathm'. I minded ulso that, seneo the ocean's on one side, the bay on the tuther, they wasn' many short cuts out a' Babylon City, either. I tell ye what, I felt purty durn bad. " 'Aw, brace up, Limpy; the clockwork will let out the gas and sink it long before it really gits up clost enough to scare anybody seryus,' says Doog. _ ■ "It was kind a' misty out there, and wo wasn' keepin' a very good lookout. All to onct I seen a boat.

" 'Holy jumpin' Jerusalem, there comes Doc with the mayor and alermen already; I can see their fishin'-taokle,' I yells. " 'Heave over the beast, quick,' says Doog.

"Somethin' dropped off in the boat as we done it, but I was so durn near petrified watchin' that awful sight that I didn' notice it until we was more'n a Quarter of a mile away. Wo was goin' north so that Doc Smith's fishin' launch wouldn't sco us; and as I was lookin' back watchin' that shiny-backed thing with silver scales around his neok and his awful hairy mouth, seemin'ly swimmin' along on top a' the waves, I jest couldn' say nothin' or do nothin' till I heard Doog gaspin' kind a' skeered like:—

"' My Gosh-amighty! The sinkin' works has fell off!"

"I jest shoved a little more push inta the leever, headed her for the dock, and says:— " There's a train for Philadelphy at two.' "Jest then I hoard a yell come floatin' over the water from the fishin' launch. Alderman O'Shaughnessy was standin' up on the front a' the lanch, his eyes stickin' out purt' near as far a* his middle vest buttons. He was wavin' his arms up 'n' down and p'intin' ahead. Then tho mas'or and Doc and the futhers jumped up to look. One feller waa jest takin' a nnd when he seen the purty water! beast ahead the bottle dropped out of his fist like a briok off a chimley. "Tho lanch stopped and the excitement aboard was terrible. All the time we was goin' for the shore to beat the Dutch. Doog was lookin' back with a pair of opery-glasses. "'•My gorry, eometkin's wrong,

Limpy; the thing's jumpin* from tho top a' one wave to tuthor,' says ho. Tho lanch waa now goin' closter to investigate. All to onct she begun to turn around. "' Then that awful critter, begins to bawl, 'Waugh—au— uugh! AVaugh—au—aughl' " 'Mv Limpy.' says Doog again, fast an' excited, 'tho water and air out there's colder than the water and air in tho shed. I have put in too much gas. It's too light and it's goin' to git lighter.' '*And then we give a groan a' horror, for we sco old Snakie, floppin' his big wings and wagglin' his wild-eyed, hairy head, riz right up and begin to fly straight toward chore. " 'Throw tho gas-machine over and for heaven's sake don't let anyone see us land!' yels I>oog. "Over goes tho gas-machine and all tho evidences of crime! We was so busy nfitern stecrin' to a lonely dock and act in* innercent we didn't se how much was goin' on till I ketched sight of a look-out runnin' out of ono of tho towers on tho pier with a s?pyglas_ in his hand, wavin' it around and vellin' to tho people below. Then they looked and begun clinibin' up on tho bath-houses and tho porches and so on to see. , "We slid into the dock and tied up without anyone noticin' us, they was all so busvgazin' off to sea. an then as we locked back we ptlrty near died to take notice that Snakie was comin' along at a fine gait with tho wind, not moron thre hunderd yard behind the lanch. which was pint' near bustin'. with anxiety to git to shore. The mayor was etandin' up on tho back poppin' away at the devourin' beast with a revolver, and Doc Smith was throwin' a bucket of sea-water over O'Shaughne.'sv and some other alderman that had*fainted, I reckon. All along tho coast you could bear that howling 'Waugh—au—augh!' "_\ly boy, my boy. how can I tell you the rumpus goin' on along tho boardwalk, tho beach, and them hotel piazzicsl Swimmers was hittin' out for shore like mad, wimmen was runnin' npV down the sand screamin' ana tryin' to find children that somebody else had hid careful in tho bath-houses. Wot, fat men and wimmen, not even clothed in their right minds, was poppin' in and out of the bath-houses an' runnin' to tho hotels. A policeman was yellin' for somebody to bring him a gun. All around people was draggin' indoors thorn that'd dropped down outsido. I looked at Doog and ho turned his face away. "Says I, 'There's a -whole two hours to train time yit.' "Jest then wo como to the telegraph office and meets Ally without any hat, runnin' to send tho news to the papers:

" 'Bulletin! Mayor Dowd and party of aldormen while fishin' off Babylon City, attacked by ono-hundred-foot flying sea-sarpcnt. Monster attackin' wimmen and children on tho beach. Whole coast in terror.'

" 'Try to act as skeered aa you kin, Limpy," to avoid suspicion,' says Doog. "'Act skeered! I can hardly walk now,' says I. "Somethin' was wrong with the wind. Old Snakie had chased the boat clost in to tho pier, then he kind a' stopped and kop' mountin' higher 'n' higher. Ho plumb looked, jest like he was flyin 'and swimmin' in the air. Durn near all tho town was runnin' inland by this time, and tho rest was inside the houses, shuttin' the shutters and lockin' the doors. Tho fishin' party had got out of the lanch and was runnin' as hard aa they could for tho boardwalk; them that could run, I mean. Doc and tho mayor and two life-savers was carryin' Alderman O'Shaughnossy by his hands V feet. We run down to meet 'em. Some of 'em was so done out crawled on their hands and knees up the steps into a cafay. " 'Oh, Doog, Doog, I loved you as a brother ' whispers Doc Smith when he got clost up and the others had cone on ; 'How could you do it, now could you do it!' "Well, sir, that purty bird of our'n kep' soarin' higher V higher and suddenly hit a fast streak of wind and went sailin' inland over the town like a eagle. 'Waugh— au—aughl' he aaya like he's hungry. Ally comes runnin' to tho telegraph office. '"Bulletin! Horrible flyin' sea-sar-pent was first seen by Mayor Dow! swimmin' on top of the water; but on soein' the boat in which tho fishin' party was, it lashed its tail, roared like a lion, and give battle. Mayor Dowd badly wounded it, as droppin' blood showed. Thousands barely escaped with their lives from the beach. It is now flyin' in the direction of rieasantville.'

"Ally got Pleasantville and all the towrus west' on the telephone, and laid it out to git results as they seen the critter.

" 'Here's a message for you, Ally,' says the operator when he got done. 'Jest lissen to this:—

"' "Get some bromo seltzer, a cold bath, and stop wasting our money for telegraph tolls. 'New York Gazette,' " "Five minutes more and Pleasantville calls up and Ally sends this:— "'Bulletin! Babylon City flyin' seasarpent appeared at Pleasantville clost down over Tooker's woods. Farmers fleein' for safety to the village report seem' the sarpent; which is sorely wounded and bleodin' profuse, open its mouth and let seven small sarpents not over sevon feet long drop into the woods, whore they are ludinV

" 'Reckon you ought t' 'a' been around when they was fixin' up the live stock for Adam,' says Doc Smith to Doog, who set chewin' that red board of his'n and watchin' tho clock's hands git round to two. "Then Egg Harbour reported that the Babylon City sea-sarpent had swooped down on two farmer's children in a field and carried off Areunah Spitzcr, seven ycar6 old. "'Ravenous boast!' says Doog.

"By-en-by Cedar Lake hollered out that 'the Babylon City sea-sarpent appeared here at forty minutes after one and immediately sought the lake opposite Emindinger's palatial hotel, where it was jined by a second and smaller sarpent from the depths of the lake. The two are now disportin' themselves despite a hail of rifle balls poured upon them from tho hunters gathered at tho hotel.'

" 'Important if true,' says Doc,

"Atsion was callin' at the samo time; and when Cedar Lake got through, reported that Snakio was in the Mnllica River, plumb thirty, miles from Cedar Lake. - " 'That makes ten big'n little, says

Doc. x _ " 'Limpy, it ain't safe for us to try to travel through that country. \Ve better stay here. There's an awful lot a' good press agent material goin' to waste back there,' says Doog.

"Tak' m'oath I 'uz gittin' so bumfuzzled with all the lyin' and the skeertness that I agreed to stay, and we let the two train go. Jest then Atco reports seem' the sarpent, and gives a purty good description; only says it was travellin' towards Babylon City.' , ~ . , "'Jumpin' Jerusalem, has the wind changed?" says Doc. By this time they was thousands of people out in front and a man'was readin' bulletins same as if it was election time. 1 runs out to sense the wind, and sure as you're born, it was blowm' strong from the north-west. Old Snakie must bo comin' back. What durn fools we was to miss that train!

"'Long about four o'clock he was over Windsor, 'still carryin' the Spitzer child in his talons,' and jest about dark Brigantino Junction was havin fits as the vile be»st sailed plumb over tho chiraley-tops and stole two sheep and ten chickens. '• '1 reckon he's ct the fipitser kid,

says Doog •Alderman OVshaushnessy's brother

oome over lookin' like a yard of crape V sayin' that his dear Mike hadn regained consciousness only long enough to ask for a drink. Also it 'peared to mc the wind waa fallin' as the aim went down. I "'us feelin' mighty feeble myself, I tell you. Doog didi help it none by sayin', 'You know when tho air changes temperchuro, flyin things is likely to light.' '•Ulso. tak'm'oath every durn man that had anythin' ho could shoot with had got it out and got it loaded, ami tliey was settin' on the house-tops and a-wnitin' while tho stars come out and tho full moon camo up. We knowed jest about two bunches a' bird-shot 'r rifle-balls inta old Snakie and down he'd come. That aumpshous event occurrin', somethin' else's likely to drop around there purty quick and sudden. "The people liad got over their skeer and they was talkin' real nasty about what they was goin' to do if the blan-kety-blank son-of-a-sea-cook come back that way. I reckoned thoy wouldn' bo no leas onpleasant 'n' obligin' with us.

" 'Boys,' says Doog, loanin' over oloat to us, 'sence I see you're purty durn sure to find it out later on to-night; I reckon I better tell you now that the paper I lined hia hoad with is some o' our hand-bills.'

"I thouglit Doc Smith waa goin' to cry. for by that he knowed the bluff he'd been fixin' up wouldn' bo no good. It meant lynchin', by golly.

"I felt like tho hymn feller says: " TOife's troubled stream draws now, tho tea, A ripple, then—eternity.' ';

"It looked like purty good-sked ripples and some rocks for us, too. "Purty soon there tvas a bangin' of guns over round this side a' Pleasantville, and then big V black in the sky come old Snakie flyin' so oloat down that my insidea felt like my ribs waa foldin' their fingers to pray. Bang! bang! hang! Reckon he's shot at five hundred time* before ho got over Babylon City; then ho stood still, and somethin' seemed to peraeas him. to go up, which he don©, wabblin' his head 'n' floppin' his wings slow, aa we oould see in tho moonlight. Bangl bang! bang! His gas for .the horn was All gone and he didn't hare a word to say. "By jingy hiokles, I reckoned heM come down every crack, but he didn'. He jest hung around, goin* higher. Some one broke the tip of a wing and still he didn' come down. I 'us so far gone- I didn' keer much if he did'r didn't, jest so wo got it over with. The wind was comin' up some, too, and I noticed the smoke from the powerr house stack kind a* went up a little , and then slanted down and on down tell it was plumb down to the water, 'vway out at the end of the pier.. Bj the jumps a' Juno, I thought a' some-; thin , and I grabbed a doubJe-barr?|©d shotgun out of a kid's hands' arid run half-way out on the pier, watching back oyer my shoulder. J "Or. old Snakie come tell he was cVossin' the boardwalk four hundred feet above anythin'. Bang! hang! bingoty-baiig! You'd 'a' thought it w|a Waterloo bein' fought on the Faurth a' July. Faster V faster he fI«V and norhin' seen cd to tech. him. Twsre's goin' to be some happy days for|the ships at sea, thinks I. Purty soon he begun to come down; but there wain' nobody but one 'r two that'd followed mo out- on the pier tbat had guns, and they oouldn' seem to bit hirr4 He was comin' down fast now. "IHe's goin' to, light in the water! Git him quick 1' yells the crowd. "itwent a-bilin' out furder on the: pier and jest got changed around right I when] he got plumb between mc and the nioon; and I give it to him' with both bar'ls—one in the middle, tuther tordsfthe head. They was » grand poppir like big pap%'«acks. and down the pfeces dropped, sinkin' down out o* sight;|nto the sea. "Mebbe it 'u» the kick a' the gun, but-Tlwent a-tumblin' down on the gier. fnd when I come round Dou mithivas leadin* mc back to the hotel by thefarm, and we passed a great big crowd tfchat was oheerin' Alderman ReillyAwho was axplainin' to them how he_ done the job by puttin' two explodi* bullets into the fleshy jpart of tho s|a-sarpent's body. • lyin' is bad enough, but Hvin' vi to v a big He's a durn sight harder fork -n bein' an honest politician. I /•• "AnyMr, the people begun to come to Babyßn City next day in solid train-loads; and when tho show "opened a grand flay was made of the snakes on the ifitter bill, with some big twenty-fofr sheet posters of the pythons, an| we did more business in Septemberfthan in the whole foregoin' season. But, my boy, did you ever notice they ain't no rubber balloon men with this showP That's on-account of my feeln's. I git! a chill every time I soft a bunch of 'em bobbin' around in -the air." ~