IN LIGHTER VEIN.

Press, Volume LXII, Issue 12478, 14 April 1906, Page 7

IN LIGHTER VEIN.

He: "It is true that Miss Plutocrat has money, but ahe is terribly exacting. If young De Broke marries her he'll havo to give up smoking and drinking."—She: "If he doesn't marry her he will have to give up eating ateo."— "Pick-Me-up."

Clerical tourist (visiting cathedral)— "Always open, eh? And do you find that people come here on. week-days for rest and meditation?" Verger: "Ay, that they do, odd times. Whj- I catched some of 'em at it only last Toosday!" —''Punch."

"Why don't you try to imitate George Washington?" "Because,!' answered the Senator, "if tho impression got out that I oonldn't tell a lie, some very influential people would consider my usefulness at an end."—"Washington Star."

She: "I suppose your uncle didn't fa 3 to re-member you in iis will?"—He: "It was scarcely a remembrance —more liko a faint recollection!"

Henry: "And shall we meet again tomorrow, dear? To-morrow shall I again clasp you in my arm-; to-morrow shall wo rencsw ." Edith (interrupting him): "Not to-morrow, Henry. Tomorrow is our washing day.'

Most of the members of the Barne family are exceedingly taciturn. A lady describes a visit paid by the famous author to a male cousin. " I ne%-er had such a tiresome time. It was downright hard work. To think that. I, a poor, stupid woman, should be forced to grind talk out of an unresponsive brain, while the great J.M., with his mill full of grist, sat silent. At l.vt, wearied out with my efforts, I left the room. In about an hour I returned. Still those fond cousins sat gazing into a dying fire, while they worshipped my Lady Nicotine. ' You're having a lively time,' I exclaimed. 'Finn.' answered J. M. Barrio. ' We've not spoken since you left tho room.'"