AN INVOLUNTARY PRESIDENT

Press, Volume LV, Issue 9992, 23 March 1898, Page 2

AN INVOLUNTARY PRESIDENT

Coenhill Magazine,

I don't suppose .yon ever heard of the Republic of Orizaba {remarked my friend, the Hon James K. Smith). It only existed as an independent republic for about a dozen years. You see, it used to be a part of the Republic of Central America, and it was such a worthless of land And fever that when it set up on its own account the Central Americans didn't take the trouble to reconquer it, and waited till the United States reconquered it for them. Orizaba had one seaport, where perhaos three or four tramp steamers called in the course of the year, to see if they could pick up a cargo of logwood. The country was full of logwood ; of the very best quality, but the natives!were so lazy that they would never cut ii' unless they were paid by the day, and even then they worked so slowly that it took about two months to furnish a cargo for a 2000 ton tramp. This same little seaport, which called itself the city of Santa Rosa, consisted of abeut fifteen, hundred inhabitanfe, living mostly in-/ one story adobe-houies, and it was the capital of the Republic. "' - The. way I .parae to be -President of Orizaba was what I started out to tell yon, and I'll try to keep to the point. If I get wandering off into other subjects just pull mc up and start mc again on the right track. Along in 1876 I was the junior partner of a firmi in San Francisco that did a big business in lumber. Bromley, Twichell and Co. waa the name of the firm, and I was the Co. Old Bromley, the senior partner, was a mighty enterprising man, and one day he came to mc and told mc that there was a chance of building up a tremendous trade in logwood, provided somebody would go to Santa Rosa and run the thing. "-So," says Bromley, )"I have decided that yon are just the man for the place, and I want you to start by a steamer that is going to sail for the Central American ports next Wednesday and will put yon ashore at Santa Rosa. I'veinduced the administration to make Santa Rosa a consular port, *__<} you will be appointed consul at that place.in the course of a day or two. - There won't be any money in the office, but you won't have any official work to do, and the fact that you are consul will give you all the opportunities you will need for collaring the logwood business. I believe that is all I have to say, and I I presume, Mr Smith, that you will be ready I to sail next week."

That was just old Bromley's way. He never wasted a word. -Some men would have taken half a day to tell mc what they expected mc to do in Santa Rossa; but Bromley just let mc know that I was to go there and collar the logwood business. I was to do it in my own way, and if I succeeded it would bring mc a lot of moDey, and if I failed, why Bromley would size the the" thing up, and put the* blame where it belonged. I never hesitated a minute about going, and when I landed at Santa Rosa, with a trunk, an j_merican flag, and two thousand dollars in my bell, I knew that I had my future as a business man in my own hands.

The President was old General Alvarez, who bad been elected twice, and had then made up his mind that elections were a waste of time, and'consequently held on to his office without asking any permission of anyone. He was glad to be recognised by the United States, and as I was the only consul in the whole Republic, I was a pretty important men. However, my mind was more setf on business than it was on honour and glory j. I went to work and gathered together more logwood in two months than had been exported in the previous two years. I loaded a tramp with tho logwood, and my firm decided to run a monthly steamer of their own between San Francisco and Santa Rosa. I saw, too, that the country was full of first-class mahogany, and I calculated to build up a good business in that as well as in logwood. Besides, I meant to induce the native- to go in for coffee-growing. In

short, I thought I paw my way lo make a bic fortune for mvself--nd partoetß, and to make the Republic of Orizaba a prosperous concern. ■ , , I had been ia Santa Rosa about a fortnight, when a yoiing fellow —Lao-mei Mendoza — who was the commander o-. the President's guard, came rushing up to my door with his m his hand and a mob of soldiers and citizens—if a lot of la-fy, half Pressed Indians can Vbe called citizens -at his heels. I let hint;;iu at once, for he was evidently iv a big hurry, and so was tbe crowd that was after him. He dropped into a chair clean out of breath, and by the time I grasped the situation and got my guv ready the whole crowd" was hammering at the door and yelliugior the Colonel to come out and be killed. I wiil say he was a brave man, for although he had every reason to believe that the mob would break in and massacre him, he sat smiting and *asping in his | chair, and as soon as he got his breath he began to apologise for disturbing mc, and offered to leave at once if he was putting mc to any inconvenience. I told him to stop where he was, and then I opened the door, and, holding my Winchester in my left hand, I asked the people what they wanted. Somebody sings out that they wanted Mendoza's life, and meant to have it, and that if I interfered in the circus I would be hung on the nearest tree. I didn't make any answer until I had seized my big American flag, and spread it out on the front door sill, aud all along my entrance hall. Then I says to the crowd that I was the American Consul; that nobody could get into the house without trampling on the American flag, and if any living Qrizabian dared so much as to touch it with his dirty bare foot, I'd send for a mau-of-war that would blow the town to smithereens, and hang the President and every other man in the Republic who was respectable enough to wear trousers. " I give you fair warning," I added, " that I shall open fire on you from my top windows in five minutes, and I'm not afraid to fight you and your whole army till you take a bath, which, I calculate, will be some years to come." That settled them. Like all half-civilised half-breeds, they could understand the meaning of a rifle in a white man's bauds. They slunk away as if they had been operated on with a horsewhip, and when I went back to the room where the Colonel was sitting he put his arms round my neck, and kissed mc on both cheeks, and swore that he would never forget that I had saved his life—which there isn't the slightest doubt that I had.

That was the beginning of my friendship with the Colonel. Wo got to be as thick as thieves in a short tune, and the Colonel hardly ever failed to come and smoke my cigars in the evening when he was off duty. He was polite, brave and good-tempered, and as for honesty, he seemed now and then to have a little inkling of what it meant, which was more than could be said for any other Orizabian. If he had been raised in a Christian land, with Sunday schools, and newspapers and honest elections, he would probably have turned out to be a first-class man.

One evening Mendoza -aid to mc, as he was starting for home, "Don Smith, I want you to promise mc that you won't go out of this house for the next two days. You will be perfectly safe so long as you are in your own house, but I can't answer for your life if you step outside the door until I send you word that the danger is over." " What's up ? "said I. " Are j*ou going to have a revolution ?"

"I can tell you nothing," he replied. •'Remember that you once stood between mc and a mob that would have shot mo in an hour's time if you had not interfered. That mob was acting under orders from the President, as I suspected at the time, and now know. You are not exactly a popular person at the Palace just at present, and I beg that you will listen to my advice, and not run into danger." It so happened that I was behind-hand in my correspondence just then, and the monthly steamer for San Francisco was to s.-til in three days more. While I didn't feel like hiding in my house from any number of Greasers, I thought that I might just as well take the next two days for squaring up my correspondence, and at tho same time avoid the danger that Mendoza hinted at. So I told him that I would do as he said, and he went away thanking mc warmly, and assuring mc that I could count on him to the death.

The next day at daybreak I thought I heard a lot of musketry, but I fell asleep again, and when I woke up for all day, I rather imagined that I had been dreaming. The next.day after that was as quiet as a. New England"Sunday, but on the third day,' at about eight o'clock in the morning, Mendoza marched up to my door with an escort of fifty soldiers, and when I showed myself the whole gang began to yell, " Long life to President Smith."

" What's the meaning of this ?" I said to Mendoza, when he and I were alone in my back office."

"It means," said he, " that you are the President of Orizaba and I have come to escort you to the Palace." "Considering that I am not a citizen of Orizaba, and that I am an American consul, and furthermore, that I know nothing whatever about your political affairs, it seems to mc that a man ought to be ashamed of telling mc at so early an hour as eight o'clock in the morning, that I am Presidont of your rubbishing Republic." > I ■

"Pardon, your Excellency," said Menaoza. "It pleases you to joke, and it is not my ?lace to find "fault with a President's jokes, 'ermit mc to remind you that I owe. you my life. Also I beg to say that I very nearly owed the late President Alvarez my death. I have rewarded Alvarez by overthrowing him, and he is now on board the steamer on his way to your former country. To you, I have tried to show my gratitude by making you President. I fail to see that there is anything amusing in this." " But, my dear young man," I exclaimed, " I'm very much obliged to you for your gratitude, but, as I said before, I'm not a citizen of your Republic, and I don't see how you are going to make a President out of a foreigner." *'■ Again I beg your Excellency's pardon," said Mendoza. ' '. The day before yesterday, when I arrested Alvarez, I made myself Dictator. The first decree I issued was one making you a citizen. Then I ordered an election for President, which took place yesterday, and you had the usual majority of seven hundred and forty-eight thousand vote 3, your adversary, Dr. Del Valle, having two hundred and nine. So you see you are regularly elected, and I have, of course, resigned my position as Dictator. "But, you amiable lunatic," said I, "do you mean to tell rae that seven hundred and forty thousand people, or thereabouts, voted for mc, though most of them had never so much as heard of my existence before election day !" " I have not said that seven hundred and forty thousand people voted for you, Don Smith," he replied. "There are never more than three or four hundred who vote in any election in this country. It is.the business of the police to conduct an election and to give the proper candidate the proper number of votes. Alvarez always had from seven hundred and forty thousand to seven hundred and fifty thousand majority, and we thought it right that you should have tha same. I assure you that everything has been done in the most regular and constitutional way, and your election is as valid as that of the President of the United States."

I could have told my friend that lie hadn't hit on a verj* stood comparison, for the President of the United States at that time happened to be Mr Hayes, who owed

his election to the fact thst the Louisiana Returning Board—a set of gamblers and thieves—who counted the votes of Louisiana, sold the vote of the State to the Republicans, though it fairly belonged to the Democrats. However, Mendoza didn't know that little circumstance, and I wasn't going to give my country away by mentioning it. "111-admit," said 1, "for the. sake of argumenti that I have been elected President and am a citizen ot Orizaba. But I am .still the American Consul, and if I acpept your Presidency I must resign my Consulate and give up my logwood business, and J don't mean to do either." " Your heart is'most noble, Don Smith," said Mendoza, 'Shut you do not as yet fully understand the customs of this country. Tho United State, will never know that you are President unless you inform them of the face. Then why not continue to be consul ? There is'ho reason why a President should not carry on a great and -glorious business like yours, especially when he can, if he chooses, confiscate all the logvyopd in the Beloved friend aud preserver ! Let mc beg yon to accept the Presidency to which an admiring nation has elected you. If you do not like "the position, you can retire before your term of office expires, and I will take your place. I forgot to say that I am your Vice-President, and that while Dictator I also promoted myself to the rank of lieutenant-general, and to the supreme command of the army."

Well, I talked a while longer with Mendoza- and then I took ten miuutes to --think the thing over. So far as I could see, I was. at least -as good-a President as President Hayes, *w.d as tlie.re was no work for an American Consul to do in Orizaba, I didn't see that I need resign an office that Wasn't anything but a name. So on the whole I de-; cidod to accept the Presidency, and marched arm in arm with General Mendoza to the Palace. I never saw more enthusiastic people in my life than the people of Santa Rosa. They lined sides of the street and cheered for mc aTs if I was Abraham Lincoln come to life agaiu. I was surprised at this, but Mendoza afterwards told mc that there was a policeman with a knife standing behind every citizen who hadn't previously expressed his confidence in mc, and that any inau who hadn't cheered for mc would have found himself in difficulties. •'There is nothing so easy to arouse as public enthusiasm," said Mendoza, "provided you know how to do it and can trust tho police." Mendoza wasn't what you could fairly call a great man, but he knew politics from A to Z. I hadn't been President three days before I saw the tremendous advantages of the place. I had the best sort of food and drink', and lodging and olothes, and although I couldn't collect a particle of salary, owing to the treasury being empty, 1 had all the comforts that Orizaba could produce. I found that there weren't any taxes whatever. When old Alvarez wanted money he sent word to the ridh men of the country that he wanted a Government loan at 15 or perhaps 20%, just as the notion struck him, and that each man would please to send so much—mentioning the exact amount —to the Palace within twenty-four hours. When I made it understood that no more 'such'loan's would be asked for, I had on my side every man in Orizaba who was rich enough to wear shoes. To raise a revenue I imposed taxes payable in logwood and mahogany and coffee and bananas, and the way the taxes poured into the Palace-yard would have astonished you. I satisfied my conscience, so far as my San Francisco partners were concerned, by sending them about one-half theamount of taxes, and the rest I sold to any purchasers that happened to come along, and turned the money into the treasury. Considering I never claimed or took a cent of salary the whole time I was President, 1 think I was pretty middling honest. I considered then, as I. do now, that my first duty was to the people that I ruled over, and I was satisfied with the profits that I made out of my logwood business. There is no denying that I did use the combination of Presidency and Consulate to the advantage of my San Francisco firm. When I wanted any favour from the Government I used to write as a private American citizen to myself as consul, asking for it. Then I would ..forward the letter, with a strong recommendation, to myself as President, and generally I granted the request. Some men in my place would simply have taken possession of anything they wanted, without any formalities ; but I always had a respect for law and order; and I always endeavoured to be as honest as the particular situation in which 1 found myself would allow mc to be, without seriously injuring myself or my friends. I hope yon won't think I am boasting of my extreme honesty. I'm no Pharisee, and if I am better than the average man I'm the last one to go about calling attention to the fact.

I tried to improve the moral and material condition of the natives, but I couldn't make the least impression on them. You can't make, a man work when he can earn a living by lying on his back in the shade and eating ripe bananas. As for getting the people to nndci*3tand the benefits of education, I might a-jwoll; have tried to get a milkman to understand the benefits of not yelling his head off in the streets. "There were about a dozen man in Santa Rosa/ not counting the priests, who could read and write, and they wanted to keep the- knowledge to themselves. 'They said that if I tried to establish : public schools, and to make the people attend them, there would be a revolution in good earnest.. However, I did accomplish one great; reform. When* I- took the Presidency the whole country was swarming with police, who stole pretty much everything they could lay their hand on, and kept the population in a state of terror by their crimes. I just abolished the entire police force, with the exception of. two constables ;whom I kept in the Palace-yard, where I could keep my eye on them. Amy consisted of fifty men under Lieutenant-General Mendoza, and I gave orders that the soldiers Should shoot any man on sight whom they might catch in the act of committing any police operation. Thia very nearly put an end to crime in Orizaba. Yon fi*2_, the average Orizabian, providing he wasn't a professional policeman, hadn't the energy to steal, and with the exception that now and then there would be a c-narrel, rind one man

would stab another, there was less crime ia Orizaba than in any community that!ever knew anything about. Well, not to take up too much time, I will just say that I ruled Orizaba for a year and a month, and in that time Z made the fortune of my San Francisco firm, besides doing more to develop tho trade of the country than any Central American President ever dreamed of doing. I filled up the empty treasury till it contained over seventeen thousand dollars, which in the eyes of an Orizabian was a tremendous sum, ami Lieutenant-General Mendoza couldn't resist tho temptation to handle it. He came to mc one day, with a file of soldiers at his back, and said that he was awfully sorry,, but that the troops had revolted that morning and made him Dictator, and that unlew I left for Francisco by that day's steamer, he was afraid that ho couldn't restrain the bloodthirsty instincts of the men. I didn't reproach Mendoza, though lie: knew well enough that 1 understood just how much truth there was in his pretence that the soldiers had revolted. I told him that I would yield only to force, and that if he wanted mc to leave the Palace he would have to carry mc out. So he ordored his men to handcuff mc and put mc on board the steamer, which they accordingly did. Ths '■< steamer was one belonging to my Swi Francieco firm, and though the captain waa considerably astonished to see mc handcuffed, and offered to. take his crew and clean put the town, I told him it was all right. And so it proved to be. Mendoza had forgotten that I was th. Uni ted States Consul as well as the President; When I got back to San Franoisco I com. plained to the Government thatl had been, forcibly expelled from Orizaba, and I demanded seventeen thousand dollars as damage*". The Government, being glad of a safe chance to display a spirited foreign polioy, sent a man-of-war to Santa Rosa without delay, and not only colleoted those seventeen thousand dollars from President Mendoza but required him to resign his position as President in favour of the President of Central America. The final result was that Orizaba lost its independence, and became) once more a part'of. Central America, and that Mendoza had to emigrate or be shot,a« a traitor. As he had no money, he probably: starved to death in some South American Republic. It never leaked out in the United Stater that I had been President of Orizaba, and 1 shouldn't tell the story now if it were not that I am out of the consular servioe for pop'il, and am rich enough not to want any more' favours from tho Government. I still feel a little sorry for Mendoza, for he was a good fellow in his way, though a full treasury wav something that he couldn't keep his hands off. He must have been considerably astonished at the way I turned the tables on him, and I don't doubt he was heartUysotfJ that he hadn't been faithful to mc. Anj man who does a mean action in order to: make money, and finds that he doesn't make; it, must feel more or less, sorry if there it atiything good in him. W. L. Aldkn.