KULPARKER'S AUTOMATIC BALLOON.

Press, Volume LII, Issue 9289, 14 December 1895, Page 2

KULPARKER'S AUTOMATIC BALLOON.

Br Luke Sharp.

Some time in his life every man invents a flying machine, and it is- well if he gets safely through this mania while he is yet a boy." If the fever takes him later in life he is certain to lose money and reasonably sure of breaking his neck. It is said that there is no law to prevent a man making a fool of himself, but in this case there is and it is the law of gravity, which was passed previous to the time this country took to making statutes, and it has ns\*er been interfered with by legislative amendments, nor has it been overturned by the action of a higher court, except, perhaps, in the case of Elijah. Most men who go in for ballooning take a tumble before they get through with it, but Kulparker came to a disaster through remaining on the ground, which was an unique experience in tne aerial business. I mat Kulparker at a health resort. He was there, he said, for his nerves. His nerves had gone back on him. He read to mc an article on nerves from Smiley's Microscopical Journal, which article said that if you killed a bundle of nerves and then got them to die, you could see them through any well-regulated microscope. It was evident that Kulparker was now as much interested in the subject of nerves as he had formerly been on balloons. " My nerves went wrong a few weeks ago," he told mc, "and by the irony of fate the doctor informed mc that I should go to Malaga in Spain and tliat place would put mc all right." -'.--. " Why the irony of fata ?" I asked; " and why didn't you go to Malaga instead of coming to this place ?' He sighed and said it was all onaocount of the Kulparker Automatic Balloon. When he said this I was in the unenviable position of the questioner who wanted to know how the other man lost his leg, and was inform_d that it had been bitten off. I naturally wanted to hear about the balloon, and Kulparker wa3 good enough to oblige mc, the account he gave being at once an explanation of how he lost his nerve and why he dared not go to Malaga. Some men invent -lying machines merely

because they want to fly ; others however h_ve humamtarian objects in view, desiring to confer great benefits upon the r fellow b°in%, Kulparker belonging to the latter ofiET He not only wanted to bestow last « bcnerits, bat also dynamite upon his fo low creatures. It would be a little ro g on humanity at thclioghi»m_-<'ve.i Kulp-ukoi admitted this-but as it would u.t.in.uclj abolish war, he though the cxperiu.cn -or trying as long as the dynamite did not fall on y hiiown head. Inventors are somewhat rn-one, while benefiting the species, to take H care that they doVt themselves, come in for any of the disadvantages, feuca was Kulparkcr's intention, but it missed hie. Tho Kulparker Automatic was very much like other balloons except that it had a propeller attached which was worked by compressed air. The compressed air scheme wo* lew ingenious, if I understand it aright. If what Kulparker says is true you can, with the propeV machinery, compress something like a continent of air into the size o: a chop of water. This drop you can put into a strong but light aluminum boiler if I may call it so, and the drop expands into a workable compressed air that w.l run a raotoj. If therefore, you have a bottle tull of drops o f compressed air, and an automatic arrangement Wit, will allow a drop to escape into the boiler as needed you have at your disposal v tremendous amount of energy stored in small compass and of comparatively, no wei-Tbt at all, which is very desirable wnen vouara dealing with a balloon. The motor "worked the fan which sent the balloon in any given direction. So much for the motive power. Ihe armament consisted of a tube through which was dropped at satisfactory intervals regulated by a clock-work mechanism, a dynamite cartridge which exploded when it hit the earth. The balloon, when fully loaded, contained fifty dynamite cartridges, and Kulparkers idea was that the balloon could be sent in any direction high above an army, dropping dynamite down upon the troops from its elevation above rifle shot, thus bringing discomfort, confusion perhaps annihilation upon the enemy. Kulparker believed that the moment his balloon got a fair innings upon any warlike body of men, I no country would, after the trial, open hostilities against any other nation. Thus war, and also the first army on which the balloon opened out, would be blotted from tho face | of the earth. I After much experimenting, Kulparker at last had a successful trial of his automatio | balloon in the open country some distance ! west of New York. He used wooden plugs instead of dynamite cartridges, and they came down all right at the proper intervals, although they nearly sacrificed several industrious farmers who did not know what struck them, and who vainly searched for the mischievous boys whom the indignant agriculturists thought were throwing the blocks of wood.

Unfortunately, at the time the automatic balloon was completed there was no really first-class war going on, and Kulparker knew of no people, tired of life, who wished to have the balloon tried upon them. The China-Japan struggle had been brought to a close without the aid of the Automatic, and Europe was in a state of profound peace. However, it is hard to discourage a real inventor, so Kulparker took a glance over the universe, and realised that although it was but a one-horse affair at the best, the Cuban rebellion offered him the only chauoe of a satisfactory test for the balloon. His sympathies wore with the rebels, as all our sympathies are, and so he opened communications with the Cuban Revolt Committee in New York. He saw there a most polished gentleman, Major Kotanzes, who listened with interest to what Kulparker had to say. The inventor wanted $29,000 for his patent and the sample balloon. Major Kotanzes said he would gladly pay double provided the balloon did all fchat was claimed for it. If, therefore, Mr Kulparker would go to Cuba with his balloon and wipe out a Spanish corps or two the money would be promptly paid to him, and they would finish up the rebellion in brilliant'style with the Patent Automatic. Kulparker demurred at this. He had no desire to visit Cuba at that moment. There was danger of being captured by a Spanish cruiser before they reached the land, and in that case, with the balloon and dynamite in his possession, Kulparker did not rightly see what excuse he could make to the Spanish government. . ~ - The major blandly pointed out that the Spanish cruisers occupied themselves with capturinz. innocent merchant vessels of numerous neutral nations, thus keeping the government at Madrid busy .apologising, but that they never by any chance hit upon a real filibustering schooner, and that the rebels up to date had had no trouble in landing all the mu-nitions of war they wanted. If the Revolt Committee sent ovor the balloon without airy one to work it who understood its habits and customs, the trial would doubtless be a failure, and so no good would accrue to anybody, while the Spanish troops, who sadly needed amusement on the desolate plains, would be deprived of the firework display which would bring so much excitement into their camp, and, by blowing them up with dynamite, prevent their dying of ennui or fever. The committee were willing to pay Kulparkcr's expenses to Cuba and back, and, in the event of success, to give him. in cash, double what he asked, which offer, the major politely insisted, was all that any reasonable man could ask. If wars had been plentiful, it is doubtful that Kulparker would have gone to Cuba, but, as every one kno*s, tiiey were deplorably scarce, so it was that, or nothing.

Kulparker'was put aboard a lugger from a deserted sand dune in Florida, together with his balloon and about 1000 rounds of dynamite cartridges. It was an anxious voyage, he knowing that there was such a quantity of sensitive explosive stuff in the hold, but the major proved to have been right about what he said of the vigilance of the Spanish cruisers. The lugger landed Avithont molestation in a little cove on the island, and scouts were sent out to find the whereabouts of the rebel army, or some part of it. At last the deadly apparatus was loaded on mules, and thus" they made for the hills, where information had been received that Gen. Carambo and his men were stationed. Carambo was not in good humour when the outfit arrived. He ..had just had a brush with the Spaniards, who were encamped in the valley, and, although both sides had telegraphed to the world at large that each had achieved a great victory, Gen. Carambo did not appear satisfied with the result, and had taken to the hills, while the Spaniards were busy contracting yellow fever in the valley. * When Gen. Carambo found that the committee had sent him a new-fangled balloon and a tenderfoot to work it, when what he wanted was something to drink, he made no attempt to conceal his anger. He wanted gunpowder, not dynamite; in fact, he had never heard of dynamite before.

In did not need Carambo's anger to frghten Kulparker. He was already nearly scared to death at the company he found himself in. They seemed to hirna ragged, unkempt assortment of coloured brigands ; even the general himself had no boots on, and the villainous looking guns with which they were armad added to their terrifying appearance. If these barbarous cut-throats were fighting for liberty, Kulparker wondered Avhat sort of liberty they would establish when they got it. Gen. Carambo curtly ordered him to get hia bag of tricks in working order and let him see what there was in it, warning him at the same time that if there was any skullduggery about it, Kulparker would be instantly shot, and the general would do himself the happiness of apologising to the' United States for the action later on. With trembling hands Kulparkar got his gas machine in operation and inflated the balloon, while the rebels looked on with scarcelydisguised contempt. At last the balloon arose witli the fan whirling and moved against a light zephyr toward the Spanish camp. Its unfortunate inventor watched it Avith* intense interest, for he felt that his life depended on its actions. " Hoav soon will it begin to shoot ?" asked Gen. Carambo. " It ought to begin in about ten minutes," said Kulparker, looking at his watch. '' Very Avell. If it doasnt commence then, we will," replied the general ominously. " We are not h_re to be trifled with." To inspire .confidence in the inventor's mind the rebel general ordered a file of his ruffians to cover Kulparker with their jiuns and to fire when he gave the order. Much as the unlucky scientist .Avished for an adequate test for his balooh, "he did not yearn for it under these conditions, and it Js probably the only case on record where.a man on solid earth'was in more danger than" if he "had been up in the Eying machine. Kulparker watched his invention with much anxiety and it soon became evident that it

was attracting attention from the Spaniards underneath. Puffs of smoke were soon in ■ the valley below. They werb firing at it. All at once Kulparker saw something dron from the balloon. It could not be a cartriil"* for the balloon was net due to begin firing' bosidos, he could not have neon a cartrid»_ drop at that distance. It came fluttorine down very slowly and once as it overturned iv the air he realized that it was the fan which propelled the automatic. A riftVbullct had doubtless deranged the machinavy and the fan had whirred itself off, Th. balloon hung motionless in midair for " a moment, then slowly the light wind liag an ■ to drive it back over tho rebel camp. Kill, parker's hair began to bristle with horror of the situation. He was between two fires for if the balloon began to drop dynamite he would run an excellent chance of being blown to pieces, while the moment Caranibn noticed that it was returning, the suspicions "•■ wretch would see a plot in the whole scheme, and would order his prisoner shot. Gen. Carambo had taken Kulparker. watch on the plea that he had none and wished to time the firing. The inventor did —> not expect to have his watch returned, and ' subsequent events justified this susnicion. but he now looked anxiously at the general who was busy studying the face of the watch, wondering what would happen when lie turned his gaze upwards and saw tho '" balloon returning. The automatic opened the ball by "oin, into business on its own account. A°sheil dropped from it struck about half a mile down the hill. The explosion was terrific and startled the whole camp. Carambo slipped the wat.?h in his pocket with an?' oath and it was only a few minutes before" he took in the situation. The second shel! dropped perceptibly nearer and rent the rock some distance below them. "It is a plot," yelled the general. «'H P is a minion of the Spaniards, a3 I thoueht from the first. Shoot the low scoundrel. Attention ! Fire ! " The balloon answered his command but not the soldiers. They, frozen with terror were watching the approach of the aerial' * monster, which was steadily dropping bom_3 *\ and raising consecutive earthquakes, and the accurate mathematical precision of a minute gun. n " Shoot, do you hear !" shouted Carambo, The men tremulously raised their carbines but the balloon got its work in first. The dynamite struck within a few hundred yards of where they stood and the concussion knocked down most of the I squad and sent panic and flying rock amongst the rest. Carambo wa3 stunned by a stone. Kulparker had flung himself face down on tbe ground and spent an eternity of wild suspense wondering whether he would be struck first by tho bullets of the brigands or the dynamite hitting him in the small of the back, for the balloon seemed directly overhead. As lie turned over after the crash ha rolled down the hill for soma distance, aud there he flatters himself lie lost his senses ■• with the tumble, although I don't.think he <• had any too much sense when he undertook 'i to invent such an idiotic contrivance as the automatic balloon. The balloon floated g?nt'j over the ocean and it is to be hoped in the interests of the mercantile commerce of the world that the dynamite bombs are all spent. Thore are dangers enough at sea as it is,? without an irresponsible gas bag dropping shells unexpectedly on a vessel's deck from an altitude of half a mile. Kulparker managed to work his way back to the coast, where he got into hia lugger again, and the crew, not knowing what had happened, landed him according ~- to instructions on the Florida sands once more. The Spanish Government h,ave made a requisition for the body of Kulparker, and they don't seem to be particular whether the body is dead or alive. The United States ! began searching for him, and so he thought it best to take a trip to Europe and wait .-, till his balloon rolls by. Thus it comes about that Kulparker's nerves have all gone wrong, and that he dare not go to Malaga, in Spain, to have thenput right again. — Detroit Free Press.