A CHOLERA SCARE.
.'■■'■" Itfy dear fellow/ cried Qexitt Grahani, stand. How should s>uch a cockney understand* Arcadia?""Here;ia doiibf, every "man is tttaster~of his own Roul and body, mind acfd opinions •' but down thore-ir. it different. Aβ the-Duke owns the town and the parson the cburch; thabody of every man l>orn in the place beloiif».i to I»!s Grace, and hi<*- »oul to hi« N<>w, as it camo rp *he eara of both pastdr tthd'roaHter lhaC ; my ftteher hud somewhere catifihfc heterodox politic*! opinions, with wliicU he might itifcch the little town, it was decided to get rid of him at onct*. Henca this notice to quit a home, whfcti n\y : L built, and my aqql ttt\hertmprovMd Kuccc-styely till I,l'a the tbe pla/e." ■' I - ':-, ■ * ..^ *"But what cbo»miw.l«mter visitors? You don o mean to tell mc Miafc the Duke auU paraou laabt ou the inhabitants
bpycoftfnpr all lo<lc;ers who liavo clean political am! religious hill "of h*luJ Am),'lf not. how prevent llielr uH't tbn land id Gn-lionV UUt Cti n j "Fool. ! My duur bey, the inhabit of Dnkcrtkuiinul no n-oro concern & j Ki-lvfuaboii' r])eP,,rtv,o]ourHol!a In ° thsH r dinirviimi) ooHctTii-* -himself«!» the colour of the cnvv ho mill;*. LiwhJ" l4 r<! prehumed in bo fonll-h folk- ijT" l loner as they Jinkl ri K ht vk-wsnhout Da..:* 0 their debt*, lln-ir oplisioui ;uo o[V,;l count. It is another i hints when an* ■ born, bred, and brongh up in Mtoew 1 shaky in tho fuilh—n tuirjble and intnu. i nble thing 1" Oi 'f> ! " li.'a the moat infernal tyranny !" ' " So such iliiiiK as tyranny ji, my l>oy! . s * n Y We'vf Freedom's soil lioneuth our ftef Ami Freedom , * banner RUYauiJuKo'oriiii only, of course, the soil must be hemL. "Depend upon it, it's n nioro threat t* bind your father over to good beliavln for tho f:iiiir»." ft * " A n»«ro i breat! Not it. Tho linu 9 « let. or «H but lot, over oui- hu/idn nlrtart, Thiiic's «. retired Colonel who h nH ''• cholerii and typhiuu bacilli on tha | lrft | nml insists on knowing all abmu tho cJralSl ixsid of fhe liouso before he commits j,j si'lf. Or.cv. snii fluitou this point, lie»m fakfi ie 011 luuse, and we no out i January. ,, , ,0 " By George 1" oxcliiimcd Hob Burrlnu ton, or "OM Bar," as he wa 9 usual!* C.ilh'fl. . '. . " Whtit?" uslccd Geofl". '"1 thought I hud nu iden—a recurrin» delusion of miuij — und it's probabi. liotliiug." ". Hero their train backed in, and the twn gentlemen took their seats for D«fe M kennel. "Old Bar,' , though nearer W»' than thirty, was younger t b tin tho younge** of tho youths Avith whom he "loveil f£ consort, In hia flow of animal Bpilit9.hu power of living wholly in the n J: nient. and his «xubori\ut and inexhaus tiblo "knuclt; of hopinE." 110 had been* medicnl Hturient., and would, he itiforinou you on every p'«siblo occasion, have Ron* liito tbo Aiiny Medical Service but for tUe occurrenco at tho time of his Cftndlda< ture of some litllo war of which, Radical, ho disapproved. Hencu "Old Bar" did uot Rive up to the Army Medical Service what waa meant for mnnkiii(i, but by which perverao man. kind profited little. It is true nhnost every younu; fellow made a point of a«klnn "Old Bar" for medical advice when they wanted somethini; elao from him; bu{ none was ever so exorbitant as to tike his medicino in addition to the other favour. For. I to say, thufc "Old Bar" diilcred from the othor leading lights of the medico 1 profession in Loiuioti in insisting on making up his own prtj. soriptions. He loved dablilingiu chemistry having a hope uf either 6ome "elixu , vititv" of some earthquake eisplo. sive. whereby life would bo either indefl. iiiti'ly prolonged Or extinguished wholesnle (1 tint was a detail of incidental importance only), and whereby (this wm the principal poiut) " Old Bay" might be enriched uud immortalised. "Old Bar "had so many idea* which were to revolutionise tho world one hour, yet to bo forgotten oven by himself the uexr.. that Geoff Graham never pave another thought to his announcement ct the birth of a new one, whereof, no more was eaid by the fellow travellers. They arrived in Dalceskenuelon.SattmTur, and duly attended church next day, rather to Georf Grnham'e surprise, since "Old ■ Bar" was not given in London *o a publle displ/iy of hi;« pitty. v " We niust do nothing to shock or shake the faith of these excellent Areafiian«," he said with perfect gravity tq GeotF. .'"No, hir, wa must reapect their primitive piuty :— Loavo thoa thy stator wheneho ptaya ' ■■*'• Hor o α-ly liaavon, her Imppy views 5 •> Nor thoti with shadoWod hint odnfUsS* T A JKe chnt leads melodious daya." ' ' . Geoff was at. once amazed and amusedftt this considerate display of piety oh the part of "Old .Bar," whom, however,!ss Jiis gue*t, he had to humour. They were rewarded for their piety by coming in for what in Dukeskennel wns a sensation, Uefore the service was half-way, through, the congregation bepan to quit the church, first in twoa and throes, but preeetnly in battalions. Indeed, even tho devout ''Old Bar" had himseUatlaeitto .Rhock or Rhake tbo of the few rerhnlning worshippers by bolting from the place. "There's someihiug rotten in cbe fltata of Denmark, or in that church anyvvny." he said to Geoff, uo they fenched the churchyard. " I never smelt anything ho horrible since I was a medical BtmJunJ; By George 1 whenhecamofeo tho'lle rection of tho dead' in the Creed, I-thouglit they had gob up aa they were. Sir, the Colonel's right. There's eeriouMy a!niH9 with the drainage ot Dake&kennel."
Upon this fluhjecb, ac an expert , , ''Old Bar" was tlollghced to hold forth to fctie Grahams Rnd their friends while tho soil«aiiofl Of the ssked;ultlle from church lasted, Naturatly It lasted-sortie tlma in a plate wbo>e, staple producb was health. The visitors who came there to lives, and tie
inhabitants who lived on the vieltots, alike felt; a viiui Concern In anything fchftE affected the health, or Clio reputation for health, of Dukeakeunel. Accordingly, the n!iockins state of the churchyard, or of the dratiiM in its neighbourhood, wan Ihu absorbing topic of conversation in every house and shop o[ the place Cor dayn» lie* fore it bad been thrashed out to chopped straw, the place was electrified by poster* oa every dead wall and hoarding, -hearted in heart-shaking capitals, " ClioMiAA. ,, Under this inspiring heading,were ranged, in numbered order, instructions minute to grttndmotherltiiese as to what each Inhabitant of Dukeekennel was to do when seized with cholera. The seizure Itself, being cnloily taken na an indisputable assumption, had its full effect upon tfcte,-. nervous invalid or hjpachoudrlao visltOT'B, who ale >, and naturally, assumed thp portentions placard to tie offickl. Before ' they couM bo undeceived oh thie point' most of them had fled. Aα exodous from Egypt seemed to them the most effective pfdpyla'ctic of the plague. •
Nor were matters much mended when ifc appeared that these " instruction*" - wore so far from bclnp; official to be officially denounced in unmeasured term* by the Dulceskennel Town Commissioner* in "ffie lbcaT paper; eince the "Drains* controversy thus started was enough "to '" terrify "the least nervous hualth-neeker into auitting or shunning DukesicenneL Bveu - when ♦• Old Bar" himself, Jilce Neptune in Virgil, rose to rebuke the storm,- the effect of hie, majestic Intervention was rather to increase than to itllay._the panic. Yet did be pay many and high compliment's to the bealfcTrreetoring properties, of Dukeakennel. whose air had had a champagne-like effect, ho ««aid twith truth), upon his ovm spirits. Having thus conciliated the goodwill of the Qukeskehneilerg, he proceeded to demoußtrate to them and to t'iielr visitorft thac tbo town's absolute lock of drainage was a unique and inestimable ndvantnce; eicce there was no doubt that the modern system of drains bottlcp up the gaseous emanations till they became pofsonoue, and then returned them into the houses to generate typhoitn As for, the wat«r-BUpply,of Dukeaiiennel, he, from a life-long study" w chemistry, and after a misroccopic examination of the water, could certify to tlio existence of not more than,six million (I think it was) bacilli to the square inch. He had even liimaelf drunk aonio of the water unbolhd, and unmixed wich spiris of'a'tiy kind; wuhoafc fewllno: a penny tile worse for it next day. Thea« cheeiflug reasaurnnces, however, were, perhap't, somewhat impo.ir.ed by the closing sentencus of this weighty letter, in' which, af cir a severe professional criticism of the placard " Instruc! i one," "Old Bar" proceeded with a Hfo-and-flealh earnestness and prescribe to all who should be "with 'cholera a drastic remedy of his own. ' ".'■'"
I catmat honestly **y that "Old Bar , * letter had a traiiq'iHllbing effect upon the controversy, or upon the town; noretfftfc that thu townsfolk took it altogether In pood part. In the, uext issue of tuft Z>«iea%6awid.CAren*c/e a host of letters appeared finding ungracious fault . wfaa " Old Pap'jt* *' teatimpny to the aanUary condition of the town. Somp osmeu, that the place waa . undralflefit otiiixH quest tonpd the analysis of Jta water with iv inofte&te'allowance of «lx million baclllfe tooths jsquare inch:; qfbi* iikaftßxperliyent made iv the totjfifO!*h# an,d ot Du!^s»kenr\el—of drlnTcing a glass of watct ueat for th* "firVit -time m hl» life, whit© oihers deprecated hw oholfei-d preacription as at ouce iuelToau.v? and nlorinist. Nexfc , ' Mveek. the professional oapers opened crj, and tho Lancet and the 2?n<»V* \ Medical'JtiirnaX gAVe vehemeuc expres-i#» to their horror at ihv eoandnl thatulUue Uws bt health should be violated 1n a health resort. Then the great dttJUea opened "fire upon the toton." tbe Tawn Cotnmhsloners, and the DuW of fonilworth. What did" tbfs «rt'afc and Kruedy ni»guate do for a- place from which h*i drew extortionate rent* *.-■ lip Rimplv left Uukeakennel In ' , Comlifcloy of a town In th* fiddle Aw** tilt th<- only w,pMd(jf ws* the " BlttCK 0 r-. Dflfttl!" had nor? m«<ie its appenrance in .;,; thU poralar health reaort. It waa nothing >, |'
- less than monstrous that invalid , * in search of health should be lured inco a ■ dealb-trap, like " rats that raven down their own baue." Like rats that quit a sinking ship, not Mie visitors only, but many of the resixAents rled, at ttm Press outcry, from the towv, f»s nu'.« fly (mm a th* «m*. nta cry of "i\\te'" and the Duke of Kcnilworth had half his houses«ii;pry on his hands, whil-i ihe tiVjaut.s < f ttie oLher half clamoured for an ivme<U-it«riini <-üb-iau!i:il r.'dac'iTii of their rent*, hi vain s.h<» Tn.v.M O.rr ihmsionors, the JJuhctl'-n.irl {':tr.:, ;;'•••'.-. :iv: UuU'/n nfroiil., uud rven hi«Vr:-.:ce himseK. proresreu tint the town wa< as we!) drained as any in the Kifcdonn. ami hat a? whoiet-cine a water supply. Their pretext wa* rliscieditO'i as Whut iess s'ould they say vrlian their <*harr»cttv was btii,ii{ impeached and '.heir pockets depietfrd '. Hence, even live y<ir.----l:-nt of his (Jrac-e. though all in ■ honours of Ir.vir-ri type and a cori'spicuou i place ifi the Tiiu-s, was as the voit-e tf ono crying iv eh? wildi-rness— for a wilderness w.ts fasr lieconnn;;. l-'rons and through this cholera ?c;tr ■• dates, as *'OUi Bar" to say. tJi-j Kloriuua. pious, and immortal lJuke.--ke'inel llevolu'ion, which freed lhat 'own fiom Pope-ry, knavery, and slavery; a-s the tiifficuliy was to yet, not houses, bt;t occupiers, the Duke was forced tv take a;sy solvent tenant that olTered. irrespective of his polilics or creed. Ag-iin, an the-e new tenants were l'>s ft-mial than the old, while the spent Incited thu old leverage of eviction, ihe inhabiiaiits of Dukeskenuel ceased to exist on the sufferance ot his Gr;ue. There was talk even rf building a Hapiist chapel on the outskirts of the town, while only last week the pardon w»is paralysed by a petition to allow a Liberal meeiinir to b>; held in the .-choolrooui! And all this, as "Old Bar "said on ihe day tnne Mr Graham— ia detault of the psnichtricken Colonel—was ofiered a lease of his ancestral home on mo->t favourable terms; all this was due to tho whiff of corruption wbich emptied Dukeskennel church on that- evemful Sunday. "That Bienclir e» w d Bar i" waH the p l, y sical of tiae atmosphere ches«r poor sioTiU* had t>c-en. breatliij'g: naconj3fil illifi iilllli as he spoke a boctle labelled " Hydrosnlphuric acid, H»S." " You don't mean —," hegan Geoff,
" Ye». sir, alone I did it i " cried -'Olrl 3Bar," ve-itli x.tiG air o£ i* Corioianoa.* - Siucit
lhAt kit, .tttall lliiit!" the pliia.l to bis friend. Auynue wbt> h»-s ever had the faiiicesc wiiiiT of time infernal concoction—.-ulpiiuie! tfd hydrogen —will understand why Geoff' suigiiereil back aj<ainsD the wall upon uncorking the Phial.
'*■ Good Lord !" he cried when he recovered breath enotißli to speak aud to rush to the open « indow. " That did the trick, j-ir; that and those philanthropic posters of instructions." " Yours too I" gasped Gooir.
"Mine, sir, mine! Gor 'em printed in London and posted here ac uigut by the sexton of the church."
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Bibliographic details
Press, Volume LI, Issue 8780, 28 April 1894, Page 2
Word Count
2,157A CHOLERA SCARE. Press, Volume LI, Issue 8780, 28 April 1894, Page 2
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