THE CANDIDATE.

Press, Volume XLV, Issue 7139, 29 August 1888, Page 3

THE CANDIDATE.

By Luke Sharp. When the gorgeous lackey opened the door he saw there a keen-eyed young man who was evidently in hard luck. His clothes had the glistening polish of long wear on them and the art of concealing the frayedness of the edges had not been so successful as the wearer's efforts deserved. The lackey was about to shut the door in his face when the young man, evidently accustomed to that sort of thing, deftly put his foot between the door and the casing, saying, " None of that, my man. Go and tell the Hon. Mr Boomer that a gentleman wants to see him." " He's not at home." " He is. Stand out of the way." An energetic shove sent the door and the holder of it back into the hall and a young man entered. " Where's the honorable gentleman's room?' The lackey was speechless with indignation. " Oh, very well, then. I'll find it out for myself." The first room was a parlor and so was the second. Then be wandered into the library and through the open door he saw the owner of this palatial Fifth avenue mansion seated at a broad table in his study. " Well, sir, what can I do for you f' asked the great man, in astonishment. He was not accustomed to have his residence burglarized in this fashion in broad daylight and he saw at once, by the expression of the lackey who had followed the intruder, that the young man had forced his way in. "What can you do for mc? Well, as the eminent clergyman once said to a bishop of London, you might ask mc to take a chair. However if you will oblige mc by ordering this red-coated fellow in plush to take himself out of the room you will save mc the trouble of firing him out, and I will take the chair invitation for granted." The great man rose to his feet dumb with amazement. The lackey retreated a few steps towards the door as the young man turned around. " What do you want?" cried the Honourable Boomer. "What do I want? I want a private conversation with you. Here, you rascal, get out." He turned on the lackey, who fled, and then he coolly locked the door and seated himself at the table, motioning the astonished Boomer to sit down. " Sir, I'm not accustomed to " " Of course you're not. But you'll have to g't accustomed to a great many things you don't like, if you expect to get the nomination." At the mention of the magical word " nomination" the honorable gentleman seated himself. This threadbare party might be someone whom it was best not to offend. " Well," he said in a more conciliatory tone, " I'm at your service." " I called round," began the other, " to endeavour to show you what a hopeless, unmitigated idiot you are." "It is very kind of you, I'm sure," replied the Hon. Boomer, reddening with annoyance again. " Oh, I don't act from motives of kindness at all. Purely selfish. Political events within the last few days have made it somewhat more probable than it was a week ago that the nomination will come your way. It is one of the anomalies of politics, for no one deserves it less than you do. Still the facts of the case are as I state them. Now, you are anxious to get that nomination, yet " " Excuse mc. I do not intend to discuss the political situation with a stranger, still I must say this; That while if the nomination were unanimously tendered to mc, and if I felt that the best interests of the country and the party " " Oh, rats 1 Do mc the justice to suppose that I have some sense even if my coat is threadbare. What's the use of talking like that toaman of the world? You are moving heaven and earth to get the nomination and of course that is all right. But what I wanted to point out to you was this. Tou have a talent for amassing wealth. You are the meanest man on earth with your money. You have not the slightest bit of sense in any other respect. You merely know how to make money and hold on to it. You have not even the sense to distrust your own tact in political affairs. You have the stupid idea that most rich men have, that you can buy your way through. A barrel is necessary, of course, but it muse be used with brains. You made an allusion to John L. Sullivan the other evening in your speech, at least you were so reported in the Herald" " Yes, I did." " Very welL Now, you mustadmit that John L. knows more about prize fighting than you do of politics." "I presume so." " Of course he does. Yefc when he goes into a fight he places himself entirely in the hands of his trainer. He eats what the trainer tells him to—he sleeps when he is told to and walks when he is so ordered. Yet here you are going in for a much more difficult match and I venture to say that you are under no one's advice or training." " I don't quite see what all this " "Of course you don't. I didn't expect you would. Here you are, a man with plenty of money and a very little brains." " Thank you." " Don't mention it. Here I am a man with plenty of brains and no money. Now I propose a limited partnership. I need your money; you need my brains. I'll write your speeches for you and keep you from moving the idiotic mistakes you are continually making and will get you in a few weeks the reputation of being a good speaker and a man of sense." " If you can do that so easily why don't you do it for yourself P* " Now, that's the first sensible question I have heard you ask since I came in. It shows the advantage of associating even for a short while with a man of ideas* The reason is that I have not the opportunity. I am not invited to dine at the

HishashClub. I don't appear before the delegates of the State Convention. I have none of those opportunities which you throw away." *' I don't throw them away." " You do worse. You put your foot in it every time." " Now, look here, my man, I've stood a good deal of this insolence from you. I don't propose to stand much more of it." " Oh, don't you ? Perhaps the flatterers you have around you have really got you to believe that you are doing first rate. Your table here is littered with letter s and clippings. They all tell you that you are the coming matt. "Well, they are your ■worst enemies. I am in fact the only real friend you have met for a month if you only had the sense to see it. Perhaps you would like mc to point out some of your blunders f " I would be very much obliged, Fm sure." "Then I would like to ask you why those two champions of your party, Larry Doolin and Jimmy Starr, were not at your reception last night?' " I'm sure I don't know." " Never took the trouble to find out, I suppose." " I can't say that I thought of it." " Of course you didn't. Yet you know that those two men can swing their wards just the way they want them and will have more to say than any other two men as to who the delegates will be." "They were both at the meeting the night before." " Certainly they were, and you thought It would be a good occasion to refer to* Sullivan's return and go for the pugilists.* " Well, that was certainly safe enough. It is like the Mormons as a subject—good on any occasion and offensive to no one." "You forget that Larry Doolin was champion pugilist before he got the contract that enriched him, and that he keeps the picture of the fight with the Syracuse thug up in his parlonr. Then there was Starr. What did you say about him ?" "I merely made a humorous reference to the patriotism of the Starrs. He was in the war." "Your humorous allusion was to the Starrs and Stripes, they tell mc." " I believe it was." " You forget that two of Jimmy's brothers are in Sing Sing and that Jimmy himself had a narrow squeak for it. He thinks you were trying to insult him. Stripes are not a safe subject to mention in Jimmy's hearing. You need some one to edit your copy for you, Mr Boomer, or you'll be laid out cold." " Well, what do you propose V "That you "engage mc and then do as I tell you." "What would you suggest as a beginning F' " Thatyoufire outthatchapintheredcoat who opens the door. Get some one there who is not so high toned. Send your family out of town and get some of this bric-a-brac out of these rooms and put up a few pictures that have more interest to the boys than those now on the walls. That will do for a beginning, and then let mc write your impromptu remarks for you. I'll make your reputation as an after-dinner speaker in two weeks. My name's Sparling, in case you should want to know." The Hon. Mr Boomer and young Mr Sparling got along better than might have been expected. A great deal of the young man's insolence seemed to have departed and he wrote most excellent speeches for his employer. Boomer's friends were astonished and delighted at the way he was coming out. His speeches were not only the talk of the town, but their judiciousness in offending nobody was very much remarked by those who knew Boomer's former talent for blundering on which his opponents had calculated to defeat him. Boomer's great oppor. tunity was to come at a meeting that had been called to discuss the leading question of the day, and his friends assured him that if he did as well then as he had been doing in the past he would be the only man whose name would be mentioned for the nomination. The honorable gentleman impressed on Sparling the importance of the coming speech, and besought him to set about in time, so that there could be no possible hitch in the proceedings. Sparling replied that it would be the greatest effort of his life, and it was. He read to Mr Boomer some of the points that he made, and when Boomer repeated these in confidence to his most intimate supporters, they were enthusiastic in declaring that if the speech was all on j those lines it would be the greatest thing ever delivered in New York. The day of the meeting came on and in spite of Boomer's impatience, Sparling had not the oration finished on the typewriter. Boomer wanted an hour or two to commit it to memory. He had a great knack in getting things by rote that stood him in good stead on more than one occasion. "The speech is all ready," said Sparling to him shortly after lunch. " Well, give it to mc. You have been a long time about it." " Yes, because it is the most important thing in your career. Such another speech could not have been gotten up for you by anybody else HI do say it." " Well, let mc have it." " Now, look here, Boomer," said Sparling, sitting back in his chair, " I have done considerable writing for you; now I want you to do a very little for mc." " What do you mean f " I mean just this. You will have to writeme alittlechequefor 50,000d01s before you get this document." " You are crazy." "Granted, if you like, but that is the figure." " It is absurd. Fifty thousand dollars 1 No, nor fifty thousand cents. You are in my employ. If you do not furnish what you have promised, I will prosecute you." "I don't know but you could do that. Still, I think that it bears out all 1 ever said about your stupidity that you should even propose it. How nice the headings in the papers would read. Something like this: 'Here's richness, All the Hon Boomer's speeches written by his hired man.'You would be sure of the nomination then, wouldn.t you?No, sir; the speech under the circumstances is cheap at tha money, and for every hour you hesitate abont the price I will tack on another 5,000 dole. If you don't take it I will sell it to your enemy and opponent, Gen. Stockem. You're in a box, Boomer. I've thought all this thing out, and 50,000 dols is the lowest I can take." "If lam elected I will give you an office worth " "I shan't refuse it, but the fifty thousand must be paid down." Mr Boomer meditated a moment. "You know that is a very large sum; How am I to know the speech is worth it 1* 'Tm sure I can't tell you." "Well, then, let mc take that speech for a coupleof hours and I will read it to some of my supporters. If they eulogize it I will pay you the money. That's fair isn't itf "Perfectly." " Tou have no objection then." "None in the least." "Let mc have it then." Sparling handed the typewritten MS. to him, and, as his hand closed over It Boomer's eyes glittered with triumph. As he turned to leave the room Sparling said nonchalantly: "I hope you don't flatter yourself that I don't know exactly what you are going to do." "I am going to do as I said." "Yes, and also to commit that to memory and hand mc back the MS. two hours from now, saying that you don't think it is worth the sum. Or, perhaps you will go •farther, and tell mc to call for it to-mor-

row. Now let mc put your mind at earn* on that point. Two hours from now, as I said, you will have to pay 60,000 dob." "Oh, that's all right" "Of course it is, but I think you hare forgotten that as you made such a recent reputation at speaking they have honored you by patting last on the list. The best ast, you know." "Well, what of it ?" "Oh, nothing, except that the General speaks before you. I have been fortunate enough to keep a copy and the moment you regret that you cannot use my effort I will tell him all the circumstances and give him the other copy. He will fire that speech off before yoa do and there you are. You can't make much of a reputation on repeating a speech, 'that another tthv" has delivered an hour before, now, honestly, can you ? People are peculiar about that. They even object to a last year's sermon." The Hon. Boomer paused at the doorway. Then he returned to his desk. "I will write you that cheque now." "I would, if 1 were you," said Sparling.