PERILOUS BALLOON AGCENT.

Press, Volume XXIX, Issue 3893, 14 January 1878, Page 3

PERILOUS BALLOON AGCENT.

A Bombay telegram dated December 3rd reports: —Mr Lynd's balloon ascended on Saturday at twenty minute past 3 p.m. with Mr Geary, editor of the " Times of India," and Mr Lynd, but the lifting power was only sufficient to take up 401b of ballast. It grazed a palm tree in rising, when a portion of the ballast had to be thrown out. It then rose 4000 ft., and began to descend, compelling the waste of more ballast. It then rose to 10,000 ft., hanging motionless over the harbor four miles out to sea. It was now evident that something was wronsr, so boats put off, and the balloon descended slowly. The last ounce of ballast kept it up ten minutes more ; it then descended with increasing speed, struck the water one mile opposite the side of the harbour, and for twenty minutes the cor waa dragged through the water, revolving with the balloon, which acted as a sad. Mr Lynn was like a squirrel in a cage, Mr Geary wob outside the ropes, and both were perpetually on the move to preserve a balance, and often np to their necks in the water. At last a native boat caught their grappling iron with on anchor, and the aeronauts jumped on board. The balloon carried off the boat's anchor and -tackle, and shot up like a rocket some 30,000 ft. Eventually it sank between Ponwell and Matheran, where the some gentlemen discovered it yesterday, not materially hurt after their rescue. The aeronauts were taken on board the pilot schooner, and reached Bombay about seven, where the greatest excitement and anxiety prevailed. Mr Lynn's letter pays a high compliment to Mr Geary's pluck.

THE LOAFEB Et? THE STBEET

I was asked the other day to occupy a subeditorial chair for an hour or two, the usual occupant having to be absent for that period. From circumstances which cime under my notice as a locum tenens I have no ambition to be a sub-editor. My instructions were to be civil to every one; to fill up some telegrams; to w.ite a short leader; to be careful the sub-editorial chair didnt capsize, as one fore leg was unreliable ; to send the boy to the post at a certain hour, and hit him on the nose for being late when he returned —in fact I had numerous duties to perform. I started in with confidence. I commenced

adjusting up a telegram first. It seemed to mc to run thus—"Stated cabinet divided premier hardy Cairns favouring war Sections Salisbury Caravan Cass against." " Queen created new order Imperial Crown of India females eligible hemp firm." I was not quite clear to fix this off satisfactorily. I could understand that the English Cabinet was divided, and that the Premier, Hardy, and Cairns were on for fighting, b_t I never heard of Sections. Couldn't find him in "Men of the Time" even. Then what had Salisbury to do with a caravan, and why should he or the Caravan cuss against the war ? Or was the Caravan cussing Salisbury or what ? I said, " This requires consideration. I shall put it away for a while and dash off asubleader," sparkling with epigrammatic solidity. I was in my second sentence, commencing "It is evident that a system which produces such results must be highly detrimental, and when we look at the subject in all its bearings we cannot but feel surprised at—" I was just thinking why we ought to be surprised, not knowing anything about the system; and was beginning to get mixed over it, when a man I know came in. He sat down on tbe table and broke my only pipe; but he meant well. He came for information. He said he wob in a dilemma. He was subpoenaed to be at the Supreme Court next day at 10 a.m., under a penalty of £25, and he was also subpoenaed to be at the R.M. Court at the same hour. " Herein fail not at your peril," the summons ran. He wanted to know what was the pecuniary extentoftiieperilindicatedinthe latter summons, and which engagement it would pay best to keep. He conversed fluently on this subject for naif an hour. Then he said that if I wasn't going to ask him to drink, he'd better go and ask somebody who did know something. He came back twice ; once to tell mc first that the Bame policeman gave him both summonses ; and the second

time to suggest that I might attend for him at one place, and bring along a cow and calf who it appears constituted a portion of his evidence. Then I commenced again—" When we look at the subject in all its bearings, &c." I had just got on to a scintillating train of thought when the inhuman and treacherous scoundrels who have the care of such matters passed in a deaf old man on to mc who had a complaint to make about the non-delivery of his paper. The conclusion of his peroration as thus :—" You know Colombo street. Well take the third turn on the right post Slimmins's place, and then cnt acrosß a quarter-acre section. You'll see on the left—it may be a couple of hundred yards past Slimmis _ or thereabouts a lean-to standing by itself. Go past that, and you'll see six four-roomed houses ; mine's the middle one." I had just assisted this revolting specimen of humanity to the foot of the stairs, and was commencing again at my leader when a nice-looking man came in and said " My name is Chafferns. I arrived in New Zealand by the last mail steamer from America. I represent the firm of Hoopthy Gump, and Company, the largest, wealthiest, and most important firm of its kind in the universe; and, I may add, the largest manufacturers of Reapers and Binders in the United States of America. I won't encroach two minutes on your valuable time, but just should like to describe our machine to you. From this model you can see the hang of the thing at a glance. Yon observe one man can drive her, and it requires little horse-power to propel her. It's so simple, I expect even you can understand that this machine is composed of a harvester, a tongue, a binder, and a seat. The remarkable part of this machine is that it not only cuts and binds the grain, but chucks it into the farmer's stackyard. That's the stackyard you can see in tho o—rate - _—tro. It thus ———os _ne labor of six men. This machine, sir, took four medals and four diplomas at the Great Universal Centennial Exposition at Philadelphia. There is such a run upon our machines that I can't execute a tithe of the orders, and the consequence is that if your enlightened and enterprising farmers don't hurry up, they will have to be content with a second-class article. I don't want to occupy your time any longer now, but I've just brought you a thousand circulars to distribute among yonr friends. Good afternoon. I'll call again to-morrow." I had just got the pen between my fingers to stun the public with a continuation of the leading article alluded to above, -when another gentleman walked in and said, "Allow mc to present you with my card. You will observe my name is LafEerns. I arrived in New Zealand by the last mail steamer. I represent the firm of J. Gulluzy and Co., the largest and most important firm in the Reaping and Binding machine line in the Universe. It won't take mc two minutes to show you the plan. You may observe that this machine, the plan of which I now spread before you, can be operated by a small boy riding in a sofa choir. You see it's a Harvester with an Adjustable Reel and a Binder with a Reciprocating Motion. Two small ponies can draw her anywhere, faster than your narrow gauge railways can travel, and yon can believe mc, the man who purchases one needs no insurance to provide for his wife and family. This thing is a fortune in itself. We run a newspaper, we do, in connection with our business, and got a circulation up to one hundred thousand in three months, without asking for a single subscriber. I'll just give you five hundred of our last issue, which you can just distribute amongst the boys. You will find it conveys the intelligence that our machine took ove medals and five diplomas at the Great Universal Centennial Expositions at Paris and Philadelphia, and without any offence to you you might imitate the style of that journal with advantage. Before I go I should like to explain this model to yon. Observe this large drivewheel. It is large, not that it requires much power to drive our machine, but that's put in by the artist as illustration of the never ending immensityof our business. See ho w beautifully, and in what perfect unison, these Pinions mash into each other. How tenderly the Elevators handle the grain as it is brought to the Cutters, which are so delicately constructed that they seem too tender of heart lo slaughter the grain. Glance at this elegant and ingenious Reel, and gaze on this wonderful invention, the Binder, which I can assure you seventeen generations of isolated monks spent cycles of solitary life in inventing. Note the simplicity of these few Tuckers, Take-up Springs, Compressor Anns, Twister Pinions, Disconnecting Clutches, Wire Reels, and Tension Screws. This is just a bare outline ; but I see I'm taking up your time, bat I'll call in and spend a few hours with you tomorrow and explain the machine in detail. Good day." I thought for a few minutes what a nice throw-in our subeditor will have to-morrow, and was just hesitating whether I should devote my giant energies to the completion of the leader or the solution of the telegram, when another gentleman walked in, and he said : —" Excuse mc trespassing on your time, bat my name is Staffers. I represent the firm of Golfopnles and Co., the largest, wealthiest, and most important machinery firm in all creation. We devote our energies solely to the Reapers and Binders. We won six medals a_d diplomas at the English, French, Vienna, and Philadelphia Expositions. You will see by this model that our machine is simplicity iv elf. I could call your attention to the exquisite workmanship plainly visible in these Tos*er Springs, Binder Arms, Adjusting Crtnk* Propelling Chains, Soggears, Buffers,. PawLi, and Ratchets. I assure yon any child can work this machine with a goat team. It will cat the grain and stand each sheaf oa its butt. This thing is a patent. Look at the action of the Swinging Binders, ArmPropelling and Double-Back Action ; observe the JTwister tying a __r___ Knot in each sheaf as it posies out. And now you've got my machine' straight. You can't get away from the simplicity of it, sad there is no uv; my taking up your time just now. I will just leave you a few hundred Illustrated Pamphlets just to give yonr friends on idea of what we can do, and a coadjutor of mine, Mr Flabrossle, will give you a coll the day after to-morrow in ease there may be some point in the machinery that you have not mastered. I'll -wish you good day." Perspiring at every pore, I waa endeavoring to pull myself together for the bash-— proper, when tho boy came up and said that there

was a gentleman down below who wished to see mc in connection with a Ifew Reaping and Binding Machine. I said, " Tell him tho literary staff of this office have gone to Kaiapoi for a month; or anyhow, till this impendme trial of Reapers and Binders is over. Ask him to see the Manager, the Machinist, the Devil if he likes," and I sneaked ont at the side door. As for the article and the telegram, they, like " Th' unfinished window in Aladdin's tower, Unfinished must remain."