OUT AND ABOUT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 1, Issue 34, 10 July 1939, Page 5

OUT AND ABOUT

-Or- — ' - " (By The Outsider) LOST ALL HOPEOPEO There was a young man of Kopeopec, Who descended a cliff on a ropeopeo And was highly dismayed To see the rope frayed And Remarked '*1 am surely a dopeopco."' * * * * WHERE'S GUNDY? IS HE MISSING? A complaint came from Mr v G. Hutter "To the Rangitaiki: Dear Sirs, your butter 'Has black and blue stripes, "And I tell you By Cxipes, "And it looks at me with a faint stutter!'* * is * * The secret of our worthy All Black forward's taste for toffee apples having leaked Haki has received many , gifts of the delicacy. This is gratifying both to Haki and to me, for the response proves that I have readers even though no one will admit it. « « * * Unsuspected perils lurked last week even in such a simple act as the buying of a bag of bananas, for Joe is now the proud father of a son, and the customers were liable to be carried -struggling and screaming Into the back room where a few. Chinese whiskies would be fired at them. After that the struggling and screan^ ing continued at an. accelerated pace. ■ # « » * Chinese whisky is all very well Ira its place. It looks, smells and tastes just like meth, and it probably brings on the general physical decay just as fast. (A bright thought Perhaps it is meth). However the main objection to its use" is the fact tlteit one picks dragons off oneself in the morning in. place of the more familiar snakes,, and the little man in the green beret, who calls one in the morning with a few sledgehammer blows on the temple, is replaced by a -gent modelled after Chiang kalchek who evidently mistakes you for somebody called Watana,be, or Fuji- * yama. . *■ • *"'• « *--- • ...' ■ Y.,Tf.C. YEARNING FOR CARESSES Edgecuinbe's two' sweetest young charmers. Remarked "Yes those boys did alarm. us, "Our struggle was good ? "But kiss us they would, ' "We mean, Who could fight 40 young, farmers?* I always thought that cats chased rate, until I looked out the back door at my diggings the other day and saw one of the bloated parasites that get their social security dole- of catsmeat around there cuff an intruding rat on the ears. ''Get away, you fool' said pussy ¥ "here's one of tho dashed boarders coming, and hs'll expect me to chase you if he sees you.' *'* # * However, the bass says she can't sec- any difference between the cats and the boarders. They are always in thick and heavy at meal times» they don't do anything useful round the place, they make a row at night, and they stay away without explanation. Nt * « » Club Notes. Dear Outsider: May we join your lovely club. We would have done so earlier but it took us a bit of searching to get sixpenny worth of rate arrears in from the Rang taiki.—Tommy and Len. Welcome in ma heartier, welcome in. Sling your hammocks ,in the shaft tunnel or the scuppers and fie read 3' when the bar opens,. T.O. ''* * • LAST WEED'S COMPETITION " The puzzle was to find a fruit, some flowers, a place of worship, an; hotel nine members of the Bad ,< Deeds Club on a pennv. The fruit 1? the date, the flowers the king's, two. the place of worship is his temple, the hotel the K'ng's Head. Now that you've got the hang of it, fiind the nine members. Take fiv-s minutes th-*u read the last paragraph # « « * Ottr THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. Ashes are ashes, Dust is dust, Tf it weren't for painty Would women rust? * * * » That was a short five minutes. The nir*p members, of course, are In th<s King's Head Hotel. T ose fat quickly with Bonkora. Sale, quick reducing treatment. Try ■ lonkora, to.day. F. G. Chemist Whakatanc. *