OUT AND ABOUT

Bay of Plenty Beacon, Volume 1, Issue 21, 7 June 1939, Page 4

OUT AND ABOUT

(By the Outsider). If vvc don't seem to sparkle as brightly to.day as we usually do it* ~j can be attributed to our regret at the indisposition of one of our favourite colleagues who has been glooming, around, speaking in strange thickened accents and giving one the impression that he is on his death-bed. _ (Did someone cheer?) -» * His case is rather like that of our Uncle whose tomb in the To Kaha dogs' cemetery bears the following epitaph: Beneath this stone A lump of Clay Lies Uncle Alfred Dan'le Who late within the Month of May Removed his Winter Flann'le. * # * « Newspaper headings: ''Skirts sho^^ Paris fashion shows." "Shows'" is ju&t | the word. sje * * * • The Bad Deeds Club goes from strength to strength. We were forced to lie low last week as we understood that T.J. had been making a, few v routine inquiries, but the affair seems to have blown over and we novsf welcome Banjo, Dave., Bart and don the Lucky Rabbit into our band. All are financial members, anil if the subs,, continue to roll in at this week-end in Auckland is practically assured. * * s > There must be a slight slap on ths wrist issued to Dave who played on Saturday lik6 a gent. . * * * * V.. Though bad in every sense of the f word we at least have loyal hearts, and have watched the progress of the . King and Queen in Cauaxla with greats interest ''Lousy but loyal ''—that's us* The King and Queen seem to be having a royal time and so is Shot.on-Both-Si(Jes the Indian chicf who greeted them at Cal'gary. Jacot* in other words is well shot. Little Audrey, who presented gifts to ■Their Majesties, is described as a. hajf-breecj girl. This item should strictly be fa the Raised Eyebrows Department. From the anecdotes about her w$ didn't think she had any breeding a* all. c * * * Turning to the domestic scene ws* notice that an American farmer whtf took to yachting because of heavy taxation has arrived at. Russell hi s boat. Go back to your farms. Rangitaiki, go back to your farms. You can't do thaf there here. Thcr^ aren't enough boats to go round. * * * « JUST FOR THE YELL OF IT If I was an echo, just for a joke I'd yell at some guy before he spoke* * * * *' 4(L Mention of the royalty for wfttf pig snouts and tails led to the QUieS. man in the corner of the private rising* from the electric chair and con* ing over to me. As he filled his pipe i ' from my tobacco he smiled remmis— ■ cently. ■ "You wouldn't think that a maw > could owe his life to a pipe, would. L you?" he said. -fr I have had so many shattering experiences lately with Whakatane liars > that I preferred to say nothing. ''The incident was connected with wild pig too"' he continued. "In those days I lived with my old Grandad in a hut near the bush-. Grandad smoked a pipe and he was the best smoke-ring blower who r er | blowed. I owe my life to his ability?*' ! he continued in reverent tones. 1 <1 was just a kid and I was playing near the bush. Man, I never expected to see a boar like the > oa» which leaped out at me that day. Ifc towered above me like a steer. Grand* ! pa had been lazing nearby idjy blowI ing smoke-rings. He was thinker and a fast shooter, as the boar rolled me over and matte . to seize me Grandpa suddenly blew a ten-inch smoke ring over $he brute's I snout. It jammed there and held its I jaws shut, while I scraaubled off to safety. While the pig was endeavouring to tear the smoke ring 1 old man grabbed his gun and si it dead. 1 * The quiet man borrowed my matches and looked expectantly at Aif. "All right" I said. ''Have a spot y . - but save that yarn for the' t chums. I've been here a little 1 now." ' > At that he got wtoth. ''Look here» „ s he said "you think it's a lie. Well. n you can just come .along to my place i, and see for yourself. We had the . head mounted, it was such a, beawty,. . and there, caught on to the §usks s . the; smoke_ring is still to be seen jtokt i, ing the jaws together." ' ijp r • Ladies! "I wear dresses 4 size?? a smaller—thanks to Boukora!'' Please n ant reducing. JT. Gi Macklow, Coffin* ist Whakatane. f