IN A STATE OF UNCERTAINTI.

Bruce Herald, Volume XXXX, Issue 97, 16 December 1904, Page 2

IN A STATE OF UNCERTAINTI.

Elsie — Dacioue, mamma, what a funny odor! 3£ct~-3XB?2iA TT-^m^ &^m.r f nta &o mi* and.see if papa is smoking one <oi -those county fair cigars or whether Nora is burning- the other cabbage in the ' kitchen. — Chicago Daily New*. The Contents of the Pi*. There was chopped meat and citron^ too, An' raisins without number; And groblins wild who came to view) „• "When I essayed to slumber. y — Wa»fai»*ton Star. JjK -* : ■ • ~>-. \ . j A Diaeaesloa. -— — First Tramp — Yovi oughtn't to tell people you want a nickel to quench yer hunger. •* Second Tramp — Ain't dat what jty do wit' yer hunger? Dat's correct! First Tramp — It's correct, all right; but it ain't diplomatic. — Puck. T*e Fiancee. Mre. Malaprop — That's young Mr. Jenkins. He's engaged to be married, you know. Mrs. G&bbie — Indeed? And is that the young woman with him now? Mrs. Malaprop — Yes, that's his fiasco. — Philadelphia Press. Doubtful. He — I'm sorry, Maria! She — What's the good of bein' sorry after spilin' the clean floor with yer dirty feet? He— Well, I dunno, M*xie. I don't * s'pose you could jaw me any more if I wasn't sorry. — Puck. V Cnrloas Daughter. "Will you get wing's -when you go to Heaven?" asked little Elsie ot her father, who is bald-headed. j "Yes, dear," he replied. "And will they put feathers on your head, too, papa?" she persisted. — Ohio State Journal. Met PoMi\>U. Visitor — Your dollie seems to be very happy. { A Tiny Girl of To-Day— Well, auntie, I'm sure she isn't, because she has only one dress, and that isn't stylish. — Town and Country. ■■ — - — * W^orth Winnlns*. -„.■• He — Please play for me. / She — I don't play. ,/ wV / H<e — Please sing for me. * -. She— l don't sing. * ~ > He — Please marry me.— Chicago ■ Daily News. Soaiewkat Like One. "Did you notice how she jabbered away when she sat there between A those two men?" "Goodness, yes I It made me think of a tongue sandwich." — Philadelphia Bulletin. Willie's Stroaa; Defease. ••Willie, you are forever Interrupting ' ntl" "Well, it's not my fault, mamma, if you're always talking." — Yonkers Statesman. Toaealngr Hint Vp. He— l think'yotir father and mother are such charming people! ' s J She — Yes; it makes me sad when I * think that at almost any time I may be -"; % leaving them. — Puck. Ah! Where Indeed f "Capt. SpoOnleigh, they say kissing is dangerous— because of microbes." . - "Ya-*«,aolhe«h!" jTQi "But we hear so much of microbes^wkere <we yours ?"— Ally Sloper. f ■ -.v* P»»a's Little Joke. '> Tommy— Father, why do men get bald sooner than women? p Mr. Figg— Because they don't wear tM tkeir aair so long. Will that satisfy- .4 ront—Tit-fttft _^ :M