The Typical Servant

Bruce Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 3103, 29 September 1899, Page 3

The Typical Servant

« ■ Bridget Malone was born ten and thirty years before she was forty, which period of life she passed three years ago, anent last Valentine Day If we would understand the sigh that sometimes causes her bosom to heave, the tear that so often glistens on the bridge of her nose, we mast go back to the time when she was 29, to the day upon which she was to change her name to O'Hallahyn. It was a hct day in August writes a cynic in a contemporary, and Rory O'Hallahan, the inspector, was making his last; tour of the sewer previous to leading his bride to the altar, when a sudden gush of Blush water overwhelmed and carried him away for ever. Bridget Malone never smiled agaiu. From that time on she was a changed woman. She straightway announced her intention to henceforth minister to others, and as to whether she kept her word, whether she deserve? the tender place which self-denials have won in the public heart for her remainto be judged after the recountal of one day's curriculum at her home. Is awakened by loud kicking on her door at 5 a.m., and resolves to get up, but waits awhile ; rises at 7. Twists her back hair iato a ball, and fastens it with two splinters from the kindliDg wood. G-oes to the sink to wash her face, but changes her micd as the winter has been cold. Lights the fire and puts the water on the range for coffae. Sits down and rests awhiie on the coal scuttle. Receives the beefsteak from the butcher-boy, and asks which policeman is on the beat at the corner. Drops the beefsteak on the floor and breaks five of the caa's ribs for trying to grab it. Carefully wipes the steak with her apron, and drops it on the boiler. Rests on the scuttle again while she puts on her shoes and examines her complexion in a hand minor. Peels two potatoes and puts them in a pan on the range. JJests ou the rocker while the food is preparing. Cuts bread ; scrapes the surface of the bu'-ter, and look.s out the window at che cit trying to set its rib^. Pieces the food on the table, turns her apron, and rin^-i the bell for breakfast. Nine o'clock, talks an hour with the ash-man ; 10 o'clock, talks an hour with the gieengrocer; 11 o'clock, converses for an hour with the policeman about hie chances of being made a sergeant Twelve o'clock, washes the bro .kfasr dif;h.es and Bets lunch ; two p.m., ranker the beds upstairs; three, liea down to sleep on the wa c btubs ; 6ve; awakened by alarm clock ; rises and shakes un the aiup ; sets it on the range. Also prepares the mutton for roasting. Seven, combs h;r h*ir and has dinner; eight, goee for a pint of mixed alp; nine, washes the dinn°r dishes and lets down her hair ; ten, finishes the grog and basks h*r fret upon the coaling boiler; ten, washes her face and retires for the ni<>ht ; 10.15, talking in her sleep; 10 20, sleeping peacefully. "Yes, system is everything to the human," remarked our gentle friend when asked for this story of her life, * the routine with me never varies except on wash days, when I.Ueat 8. Indeed I might, : dd thrtt 1 owe everything to system. .For instance, I owe my happiness to my digestive system."