Ted, Myself, and Two Bicycle.

Bruce Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 3099, 15 September 1899, Page 6

Ted, Myself, and Two Bicycle.

(From ** Woimatti»7: : I Now I had long suspected that Ted Wanted a bicycle, and hints he casually stropped, and above - ali, long mysterious confabs with the bachelor, strengthened tny suspicions. The bachelor is an ardent, cyclist';. he le excessively polite, Syhldh causes;- me to distrust him, f or_ pmporfiuous ' jciyilitieS; In; man or yrofo'ant' nre rare ; he has also beeri refused Paj six different girls ■',the reader needs no further description of the bachelor. yWheii, however, Ted .began to talk about the dhcertalii state of his business, and the high price of strawberries, and ;recom:raerided me not to join the tennis club as all the weather prophets foretold a wet: summer, I felt it was time to make a stand: "Ted." I remarked Innocently one morning at breakfast, "I am simply pining for a bicycle." He started, with a look of guilt. "Are jrou ? Well, my dear, so am I, if it's any comfort to you. I don't at all see how It's, going to be managed." "Oh, I tbirrfc we could soon save up enough," I replied airily. " I suppose £35 would buy one for eacb of us, wouldn't it ? We might get two at a reduced rate." " I heard of a good second-hand machine the other day going for a bargain," he said, " guai'anteed enamel, newest saddle, and all the recent improvements." " I don't think I should like a secondhand one," I said thoughtfully. " you never can find out why the owner want? to sell till you have paid for it." Ted was silent, but there was no need to tell me that the bicycle in question was a man's machine, recorameuded by the bachelor. " I bave been thinking It over, Ted, and I fancy we could manage to economise for a little while. We must live on milk, and eggs, and fish, aud cheap things. I will tell Mr. Oxley I am uot going to play tennis this season, and we will do without the gardener." " Who will look after the garden ?" asked Ted. " You can do that yourself, easily. before breakfast, and when you come home at night. Rag and Tag will help you, won't you, dears ?" 1 asked the boys. "We might do a bit for far ver while he's at biz," Rag generously proffered. Now I believe Ted could hardly plant an onion right end up ; gardening for a couple of hours, with Rag and Tap helping, would drive any man out of his senses, whilst gardening a couple of hours after them would be a fitting punishment for a hardened criminal. 1 was therefore not surprised when Ted Baid, " I think such drastic economies are scarcely necessary." " Very well. Of course you know best." I continued diplomatically. " T really do want to join the tennis club." Ted had not meant to include the tennis subscription under needless econo mies, but not liking to say so. we agreed 'to save the £35 as quickly as possible. Somehow or other innumerable ob stacles rose up against our purposed economy. The boys seemed to wenr out more clothes than ever : my refurbished gowns and Ted's last season's overcoat became ridiculously shabby .and nn wearable as soon as the snn began tn shine properly. I tried to economise in the kitohen department, and fed Ted on thin soup, cold meat witli plenty of vegetables, and so on, till he rebelled, and in the revulsion of feeling <1p manded salmon, oys' m-s. cherry tart and cream. I was ho;.rHly sick of thin soup rovself, and fell in with Ted's su/? gesrion, which, of course, swept away all my little hoard at once. At last. after deep cogitation. T decided that the only possible means of saving was to stay at home from ohnrch. and thus pre serve our collection money. Such a course did not commend itself to me. I thought our loss of prestige might he considerable, and as the sum paved would be so infinitesimal it really did not seem worth while We managed our economies as some charities do their subscription list, halfpence not re fused. Once we attained the magnificent sum of £10. but as four London managers had the perversity to produce four first-class plays, which it was es sential we should see. in the space of three months, the expense of cabs, seats, and a theatre gown quite swept away our £10. All this began a year ago Ted and T Are still saving up for bicycles. I comfort myself witb tlie reflection flint when we shuffle off this mortal coil we ahall, at all events, have just surticient to bury us decently.—Aubrey Scott.