A SCOTCH NIGHT.

Bruce Herald, Volume XXX, Issue 3030, 24 January 1899, Page 6

A SCOTCH NIGHT.

If you chance to strike a gathering of half-a dozen friends When the drink is Highland whisky or some chosen " Border Bloods," And the r»om is full of " speirin," and the "gruppiu' of brown hands," And the talk is all of •• tartans " and of "plaidica " and of " elajas," You can take thing 3 dance and easy, you can judge you're going right, For you've had the luck to stumble on a " weo Scotch night." When you're pitchforked in among them in a sweeping B»rt of way, As " anither nion an' brither " from the Tweed or from the Tuy, When you're taken by the oxtor, and you're couped into % chair While some one slipp a whusky into your tumbler unaware, Then the present seems lees dismal and the future fair and bricht,. For you've struck earth's grandest treasure iaa" quid Scot's nicht." When yau hear a short aame shouted and and the same name Shouted back, Till you think in the confusion that they've all been christened " Mac," When you see a red beard flashing in the cerner by the tire. And a giant on tho s»fa who is six-foot-three or higher, Before you've guessed the colour and before you've gauged tbe height. You'll have jumped at the conclusion it's a " braw Scotch night." . When the red man in tho corner pula hiß strong voice to the pr«of, As lie givps the " Hundred Pipers " and the chorus lifts the roof, Wlien a chiel siu^s "Annie Lauria " with its tender svre et rt-fi iin, Till the teai s aro on their eyelids and— the linnk cciucK round again, When they chant the Htiirir.g war sougs that would make the, coward tight, Then you're fairly in the middle of a " wee Scotch night." When the plot begins to thicken and the band begins to play. When every tin pot chieftain has a word or two to say, When they'd sell a Queensland station for a sprig of native ht-.ath, Where there's one " Mac " on the table and a couple undo neath. When half of them are sleeping and the whole of them are tight, You will know that you're assisting at a (hie; Scotch night. "V\ hen the last big bottle's empty and the dawn creeps grey aud cold, And the last, clan tartan's folded, and the last big lie is told, When they totter down the footpath in a bravo unbroken line. To the peril of the passers, and the tune of " Auld Lang Syne," You can tell the folk at breakfast as they watch the fearsome sicht, They have only been assisting at a '• braw Suet's nicht." — " Glenrttwan Australian." AT INTELLIGENT JUROR. A jury was being empanelled to try a suit against a street railway company for personal dHmages, and an attorney was examining the panel as to competency to st. " What is your business ? " he asked of a jolly German. ''Sausage-maker, but my namo is not Luetgert," was the reply that put everybody iv good humour. " Have you any prejudice against street railways V " " No, I haf no prejudice agaiust dem, but I don't like dem." " Why 1 Have they ever done you any harm ? " " Oh, dey don't neffer vas run ofer me, but dey vas all der time reaching out so," and the juror extended his hands and clutched about in the atmosphere with his fingers. " Do you think that your feeling against street railway companies is co strong that it might influence your verdict in this case V " " No, no, 1 would do what is li;/! ' " Would you believe the trsli- a of a motor-man as soon as you would i >,..■.. of the plaintiff ? " " Veil, I wouldn't belief eder of dem unless somebody else said so, too." " Suppose the te&timeny was eveDly balanced; juat as strong on one side as the other; would your verdict be for the plaintiff or the defendant 7 " " In dot case I voulda't give a verdict far nedcr ojf cfeDl." Even Jiis Honour joined in the laugh that followed, and the juror wUa excused for cause.