STREETISMS

Bruce Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 2862, 15 June 1897, Page 5

STREETISMS

o Here's a how de do ! Here's a state of things ! If the Baud don't play Here — wait a minute ; life's not a comic opura. What's the how-de-do ? I know that, but I often think lffe is very like it sometimes. Souio people aro often so much more comical than operatic people. The point ie, VVha'/a the trouble between tho Reoord Reign Committee and the Braaß Band? Ob, ia tbat aM ; why, it's simplicity itself. The un-- jority of tho numbers of the Band wanted £7 their services in celebrating I'ecord Keigo D.y iv Milton. Why did they want snob a large sum as £7 for a public occasion hkottbat ? •' Aye " aB Hamlet says, " There's therub, ' Their reasons are now as various as Pauliu't. weather Bamplea — aud aB changeable. Well, there's nothing bo pleasing as variety in a Brass Band ; but go on. Some of the Band act their brains a-thlnk-ing and deoided tbat the Football Olub was to get all the profits of the day sports and entertainment, tbac a two-days' .trip to Owaka waa also to oome oat of tbe money so obtained. That's not right, anyhow, Homo; whj ahoald the Football Clnb get all the money ? It looks a 6 if the Band waa quite right in sinking all local patriotism and going atraight for the £.a.d. Look here, sonny, yoa are like a lot of other people in Milton ; you are too fond ot taking for goapel everything that Tom, Dick, or Harry saye, without any evidenoe of its truthfulness. "Oh truth is bat a lie in masquerade," bo sings the poet. But, joking apart, what are the real facta ? The faots are that tbe money obtained from the sporta and evening*] entertainment wili go to paying off £15, balance of the £45 apent by the Football Olub on improving the grounds in the domain ; while the surplus will be used in still further improving the domain. Surt ly that ie a fair and public spirited aotion ? Yea, that's bo ? Well, well, I mast oat that oat and paste it in my ha*. Bat look here, why didn't tbe Record Reiga Comm tteemen explain tbis to tbe Band, then there would have been no bobbery aboat the matter. They did explain the matter — more than onoe too— bat it wai naeleae; tbe majority of the Baud would not listen to the voice ol reason, and their ultipomatum was £7 or no Band! Ah ! that's a horae of a different oolor it 100k 8 aa if aome of the band had only discovered a mare's neat ? Yes, bnt the ohairman of the Reoord Reign committee went one better he discovered a real live Mayor's neat. How'b that Homo ? Why, the Mayor's nest-egg of £20 1 Very good, and won't the kiddies bleßa the Mayor and corporation on Celebration Day. Look here Homo, do you believe In all thia Record Reign Celebration business 7 No, not all of ie, for I draw the line at bonfires — and other things — there are limits to my enthusiasm. I Bee, bat it's a free oountry and people oan bave bonfires if they like ? Oh, that'a only my own idea. I believe everybody has a rigbt to his own opinions and I reapeot everyone who has the courage to express them. Bat you draw the line at bonrireß, and don't support building morguea to oommemorate the Queen's Reign. Y„, and I alao consider the latter is rather a deadly lively way of doing it. At Wanganui I see they are not only going to have bonfires but intend to wind up the show with " a feast of lanterns" (See 4 Otago Daily Timea.') Is that bo. Rather a peouliar sort of diet.. " A feast of reason and a fiSw of soul " would be a real live banquet in comparison. How would one feel after eaoh a feast ? I don't know but I reckon I should feel, after *' a feaat of lanterns," a good many pains under my waistcoat. Ah lAh 1 Yes, you would feel a bit illuminated, and co will Wanganui when the feaat comeß off. I notioe that nothing has yet been heard re the ohioken cholera experiment at-Clydevale* Ah, I suppose, Homo, tbe Department is taking every precaution to atop the spread of the disease. That is a matter of opinion. Mr Gllruth, who waa a pupil of Pasteur's, maintains that as Clydevale is mostly surrounded by water and the rest is shut in by high mountains, there is no obance of ohicken oholera spreading elsewhere. IJam— tbat is open to argument. I wish they bad tried tbe experiment up In the North Island, Bay in Auckland, You think the microbes of ohioken oholera oould not have swam over Cook's Strait la fact, yoa would have preferred, if Mr Gilruth had tried Pasteur's remedy in northern " fields and pastures new !" Pastures 1 Oh, you're inoorrigible. You're another, but yoa eeem to forget there can't be any rabbits in Auckland now. How's that, Homo ? Beoause it's well-known tbat rabbits oonld not exist there, as there are too many wild cats on the Auckland goldfielde. Look here, Homo, yoa are as sharp as barbed wire to-day, What have yoa been up to ? It's not what I've been np to, bat what I've been down to. I Bat down hurriedly this morning, on the spur of the moment ; hence this thuanesa. Ta Ta, Homo.