AN ESSAY ON THE MOON

Bruce Herald, Volume XXI, Issue 2177, 24 June 1890, Page 3

AN ESSAY ON THE MOON

The following extract from an essayon ' The Moon ' affords — in defiance of its title — some most interesting glimpses of sublunary home life. ' To look at the wite moon shine in threw your winder at night, sitting on the edge of the bed, and lissinin' to your father's and mother's knives and forks rattlin' on their platter while they are getting their niced suppers, is the prettiest site you ever seed. "When its liver and hunyens there a having, you can smell it all the way up-staira. It looks very brite and nearly all wite. Once when they was a having fried fish and potaters I crept out of my bedroom to the top of the stares, a bursting open the door at the bottom, and rolling into the room nearly as far as the supper table. My father thote of giving me the Btick for it, but he let my mother give me a bit of fish on some bread, and told me to skittle off tombed again. I am sure there was not no" moon, else I should have seed there wasn't a top stare when I put my foot out slow. I only skratted my left eye and ear a bit with that last bump at the bottom, which waa a hard one. Stares are steeper than girls think, speahilly where the corner is*

' Boys who say as the man in the moon was sent there for pickin up sticks on the Sunday, are simpletuns, and don't know nothing about the moon what its like. You should not call them. names, but jusb tell them what they think is the man's eyes and nose and mouth is only valleys and holes witch you can't say now as the Bible didn't tell you of it. Then if they say to you as the moon is not all them thousands of miles off, else how could the cow jump over it, do not call these poor boyes names, else you would be a cowherd ; but just tell them nicedly and gently as you never did belave about that there cow. Tell them as not even racehorses could do it, but only hangils, and they will belave you, and thank you for making them wiser every day. If these simpletuns say to you as they do not believe the moon is round, cose what about its getting smaller and smaller and shapin' itself difrent ; just tell them that it is all along of spinnin' round like that's all, and they will bolave you, and say thank you for all that you have told them.

' Everything about the moon is true, so mind and stick to it, witch you will be rewarded for, and not be fritened of lying down on your death-bed.'