MISCELLANEOUS EXTRACTS

Bruce Herald, Volume XIX, Issue 1932, 14 February 1888, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS EXTRACTS

Temperance circles iv Cincinnati are stirred over the discovery that chapters have been added to the text-books in use ia high schools of that city affirming that' the daily drinking of alcohol is harmless, and that a person weighing 1501 b can safely use a pint of wine or two pints of beer every day. There is a good story told in the French War Office to the effect that for ten years a soldier was stationed in the passage leading to the Minister's private apartments with orders not to let people touch the walls. But no one seemed to understand why this was done. Now, a new Minister, of an inquisitive turn of mind determined to find out the explanation of a circumstance that his fifty predecessors had never remarked. But ho one could give him any light, not even the chief clerks, nor the subordinates who had been in the service half a century. But a certain doorkeeper, an old fellow with a good memory, recollected that on a certain occasion a soldier was placed there because the walls had been painted, and the Minister's wife had got a spot on her dress. The paint had dried, but the sentinel had been left. I confess, says Mr Labouchere in ' Truth,' that, after looking through the provisional programmeofthePan-Angli*-can Synod, Ido not see much that looks worth calling 210 bishops from the four corners of the globe to talk about. Of what practical interest, for instance, to any human being are the opinions of the whole body of Anglican divines on the Church's work in relation to Socialism ? or the Anglican Communion in relation to the Eastern Churches, &c. ? The only really promising subject on the list is "Polygamy of Heathen Converts." Properly handled, a good deal of fun may be got out of this \ but, after all, for most of us the interest is " purely academic." lam afraid, on the whole, that the Synod will be a dull business. The ' Colonies and India,' of November 18th, says large numbers of Australian miners are arriving at Durban for the Transvaal. Hitherto there lias not been such a " rush " of diggers from Australia as was expected when the fame of the South African gold fields was trumpeted forth. Small bands ot miners of the right stamp have been reaching the country from time to time during ihe past two years, but they have not yet been landed by the ship load, as it was at one time freely prognosticated they would. The cause of this apparent diffidence has been variously explained, but it is now believed that tbe fact is due to the jealously of Australian papers, which are said to have burked the news of the impending rivalry of South Africa in an industry wbich has made the fortune of the Australian colonies ! When, however, we find Australian papers with advertsments of vessels " about to sail for the South African goldfields," the explanation suems hardly a likely one. The probability is that the experienced miners preferred to await the reports of their " scout " before giving up a certainty for the chances of a rush on vague rumors. However, " the murder is out," and several vessels have recently arrived from all parts of Australia full of miners, and conveying the intelligence that numerous applications for " passages had to be refused. The announcement that a sum of over £4000 was paid in wages to the men employed on the Westport Harbour Works on Saturday brings (says the •Evening Press') the question of the Board's affairs once more prominently before the public. Where is the money coming from to keep up this enormous outlay, and what guarantee is there that it is being spent lawfully or properly? The Westport Harbour Board's affairs have been a public scandal for many months past, and we do not hesitate to say that at this moment they present the most disgraceful spectacle of jobbery and corruption to be found in New Zealand. The waste of public money that is going on there is positively shameful, and what is worse, there is every likelihood of a disaster to the works if such a state of things is allowed to continue much longer. There is no engineer in charge, Mr Napier Bell having been bullied out of bis position, and the Government having very properly refused to approve of the choice of a successor made by the Board. Neither is there aoy respond sible person in control of the expenditure nor any check upon the gravest misdoings. Never in the history of this colony has an important public work, involving an addition of half a million to the debt, been allowed to get into such an extraordinary position. Some time ago, a reverend gentleman from a suburb of London came up to the Metropolis, and looking about in the Strand and the side streets abutting upon it, espied at last the offices of an entertainment and theatrical agent, and asked him if he could recommend him someone to take part in a concert which he proposed giving. " I want someone very amusing " said the parson, " and I think I've heard of a man named Jones." (Jones was not the name of the person the clergyman mentioned but it will serve). " Certainly," said the agent, " I can arrange with him. You'd like a character song, I . suppose — it will be a guinea and a half and railway fare, say two guineas. He'll come down at nine exactly, and must go on at once, because he has to come back and sing two more turns ■V

at different places, between 10.30 and 12." The clergyman paid the two guineas, and made all arrangements for Jones to appear directly he arrived. Gentle reader, imagine -what happened when in that staid and sober suburban village school-room, Jones appeared, attired as a fast young woman, and sang, with full illustrations, a song entitled, " I'm a little drunk to night, but I'll sober up directly." The clergyman has not since engaged a London star. In California, at the close of a lecture on "Physiology" before an evening school, a short time since, the lecturer remarked that any one was at liberty to ask questious upon the subject, and he would answer them as far as he was able. A young lady, with much apparent sincerity, remarked that she had a question to ask, though she was not certain it was a proper one ; she would, however, venture to ask it. It was as follows : — If one hen lays an egg, and another sits on it and hatches out a chicken, which hen is the mother of the chicken ?" The lecturer said :— " I will answer you in true Yankee style, by asking you a question : "If a little, pretty, white, genteel, native pullet sits on an egg of oriental extraction, and hatches out a great, homely, lpnglegged, splinter-shanked, slab-sided, awkward- gaited Shanghai, would you, if you were that little white pullet, own the great homely monster ?" " No," said the young lady, " I wouldn't" " Very well," said the lecturer, " that settles the question, for it is a principle in physiology that all hens think and act alike in all essential particulars." " There is nothing new under the sun." It has been pointed out that Pasteur's idea of inoculating rabbits with a contagious disease and letting them loose among their fellows iv order to destroy or thin the abundance of this prolific race in Australia was thought of 60 years ago. In Hone's " Every Day Book," vol. iii., published in 1857, in an article quoted from Dr Aitken's " Athenseum " there is (with two other methods proposed for lessening the number of rats) suggested the following :— " Inoculate some subjects with the small-pox, or any other infectious disease, and turn them loose. Experiments should first be made lest the disease should assume in them a form as to be capable of being returned to us with interest. If it succeed, man has means in his hand which would thin the hyenas, wolves, jackals, and all gregarious beasts of prey." The author adds a postscript :" N. B. — If any of our patriotic societies should think proper to award a gold medal, silver cup, or other remuneration, to this method, the projector has left his address with the editor."