A Pseudo Case of Cholera.

Bruce Herald, Volume IX, Issue 891, 23 March 1877, Page 7

A Pseudo Case of Cholera.

• THIS ANECDOTE IB 22 YEABS OLD. A literary octogenarian of thia city, by trade a turner, who, poor body, has Been better days, but who, notwithstanding hie advanced age, still contrives to earn a livelihood at his handicraft, retired earlier than usual, the other evening, to his "lonely garret," to peruse a work on geology, which had been lent to him by a literary acquaintance. Arrived at his humble abode, old John, according to use and wont, filled his grate with " shavings," set fire to them, and, soon as his ingle began to send forth a genial heat, Bat down, spectacles on nose and snuff-box beside him on the table, just to take a peep into the new work before recruiting his physical man. The work proved deeply interesting, and the theory of our planet's formation and development had such a rivetting and absorbing attraction for our old friend, that he read and read on till midnight, when he began to feel — as veell he might — the keen demands of appetite. His frugal supper was soon prepared, consisting — hear it, ye gourmands!—of a red herring (Scottice, a " sodger ") and Borne coffee, " pure and unadulterated with chicory." The " sodger " speedily disappeared down John's oesophagus, followed by the coffee in quick succession ; and John, donning .his spectacles, again essayed to resume his cosmogenic studies, when, most unaccountably, he felt Bick. Somehow, the gastric juice did not, on that occasion, incline to fraternise with its new acquaintances. His book and specs were laid aside— John breathed hard and quick ; yet on came the sickness, like an armed giant, powerfully and irresistibly. Suddenly the terror took possession of his whole soul that he was about to fall a victim to the demon cholera. His Hmbß shook —he " free zed with horror" — violent 'vomiting succeeded, and powerless and exhausted, he threw himself upon his lowly pallet to die ; but, out of Bheer pity, Morpheus took our old friend into his custody, and, for a time, he became oblivious to this world and all its sufferings. He awakened 'twas broad daylight. He recalled with a ehudder the painful ordeal he had passed through, and, though refreshed, he was still by no means well. He raiaed his head, and, looking out from his bed at his German horologe, perceived that the tiny hourhand pointed towards noon. He rose hurriedly, and, without breakfasting, hastened to his work. On his way thither, John pondered much. Could it have been cholera ? Was he yet recovered? Might he not have a relapse ? were questions he put to himself ; and ever and anon he primed his largely developed proboscis with magnificient doses from his pulveriferous utensil, but the ingredient therein contained made no impression on his olfactory nerves. The nasal ducts were completely obstructed ; yet still genuine " Taddy," thought John, ought to do its work. Thus pondering, he came to the shop of a grocer acquaintance, to whom he related the unlooked-for and unaccountable sufferings he had experienced, and the grocer congratulated our old friend on his apparent speedy recovery. Half an ounce of the best Taddy was then ordered, and duly weighed out. John handed bis white-iron .mull over the counter. The grocer asked him whether he would mix the fresh with the old snuff still in the mull. " Na, na," said John, " throw't out, Sir ; it's nae quid ava." The grocer was proceeding to obey our old friend's injuuction, tthen, remarking the lightuess of its color and the roughness of its grain, he, applying it to bis nose, exclaimed what's this you've been snuffing, John ?" <* I got it frae you,r la4die last night," was the reply ; " but I'm nae thinking its the rael article, it hasgaelittle strength, Sir." " Strength!" laughed the vendorof teas, sugars, porters, and ales ; " strength why it's coffee, man !" " Coffee !" and our old friend now la'agbed in his turn ; " w^l, I'm surely dottled. Jfae ponder though I wis sac sick ! however, that accounts for it clsariy. I've been snujpng ony oa^ae ct w't'Ttt, an 1 Idranh my : swi/f\ Weel, I'm glad it's no the cholera onyhoo, for I micht hae had a relapse, and that wid hae carried me clean aff nae dout." — 'Aberdeen Herald.'