Amusing.

Bruce Herald, Volume IX, Issue 805, 23 May 1876, Page 3

Amusing.

Not long ago, iD the Court of Appeals, a certain lawyer of Celtic extraction, while arguing with earnestness his case, etated a point and then proceeded : " And, if it plaze the coort, if I am wrong in this, I have another point that is equally conclusive." The late Eev. Eobert Hall, of Kelso, though certainly a good man, was yet somewhat eccentric in this manners. The following story is told of him : " One Sabbath evening, having arrived late at i Stitchel, the minister to whose house he came was greatly surprised, and asked him what might be the reason of it, to which Mr Hall replied, " I have found it; eureka ! I have found it." " You have found what ?" said his reverend brother. " Well, I have found that if Adam had had the wisdom to say no to Eve in | regard to the forbidden fruit, this would f have been a great matter for the whole '• world." A New York export who was arraigned for theft, having no counsel, the court appointed a young lawyer to " give the prisoner the best possible advice under the circumstances." The lawyer and his client then retired into a sideroom for a brief consultation. As they did not seem to be in a hurry, the court sent an officer to remind them that the time was limited, and then the lawyer came in. "Where is your client, Mr Smith?" "He has left," replied the lawyer. " What do you mean, sir ?" " Why," said the lawyer, " he told me he was guilty, and I thought the best advice I could give him was to get him out of this, and he got." Old Mills, the optician at Milwaukie, sold a sun-dial to Pitman a short time ago, with the assurance that it was a first-rate timekeeper. About a fortnight afterwards Pitman called one day at the shop and said, " Say, Mills, that sun-dial ain't worth a cent ; it's no good as a time piece anyway." " Did you ever time it by your watch ?" " Certainly I did. I've stood cloao to it a hundred times exactly at the even hours, and the blessed thing has never struck the time once." " Merciful Moses ! Why, you did not expect it to strike the hours, did you ? Why, it don't strike, of course. It has no works inside." " That's what puzzles me," said Pitman. "If it ain't got no insides, how's it going to go ?" " Pitman, where have you placed that sun-dial — in, the garden ?" " Garden ! . Be gracious, no ! What do I want with a timepiece in the garden ? It's hung in the settin'— room agin the wall." Then Mills explained to him, and Pitman has since bargained the sun-dial away for a fife* dollar clock.