TWO DEACONS AND A WIDOW

Bush Advocate, Volume XXI, Issue 95, 20 October 1908, Page 7

TWO DEACONS AND A WIDOW

When the good wife of Deacon Haz-lett died he first thought of selling his. farm and removing to live village, as he had no one to act as housekeeper for him. On second thought he conclude! to g*et his meals and have his wishing' done at so much per wee): ut widow Miller's, wlkv owned the ' farm opposite his. The deacon was 4.5 and the Avidow 40, and no one saw any impropriety in the . arrangement made. v The deacon, had recovered from his grief, as alii of us do in time, and- a year had rolled away when a sudden thought came to him one day as he was hoeing corn in his field. He dropped his hoe and leaned his back against the fence to digest the thought, and after a quarter of an hour he fouiuLhimself rather pleased witli it. ..,..'

He had known Mrs Miller for six or seven years. .He had been one of the pallbearers^at./her husband's funeral. He. kii«AV that she was oaie of the ..best cooks in the country and always pared the potatoes thin and saved the apple cores, and that her farm was- .worth £10 an acre. Why not marry her?

There 'was no hurry, however. The deacon was getting cheap board and his -shirts- starched to Ms satisfaction, and it seemed a pity to interrupt the programme. ' The widow was a good deal of a hustler, too, as he had ; come to know, and as long a-s he was only a boarder she ; would not feel_ : privileged to hustle him.

The corn 'was only knee high when the deacon came to his decision, but it was. waiting to be out and stacked when he was ready to take a step further. He might not have done it then had not Deacon Brockway who was also a widower, come driving out to the farm much oftener than seemed necessary. '

His excuses were that he wanted to buy hogs, chickens, cows and other tilings, but ho • never bought. He simply sat in the house and talked to the widow.

Then there came a day when Deacon Hazlett felt extremely satisfied with the .good things of life. He sold a dozen old hens to a buyer for pullets; he sold a sheepskin to a •pedlar without the man taking notice that there was' a Jt>ig cut in the pelt; he traded off a kicking 'cow- 'for one that kept her hind 'feet on the ground all through milking, and then sat down to end the day with a good supper.

There was custard pie on the table. Custard pie was the deacon's stronghold. Ho had that in mind when h© decided on marriage. He had eaten, of the solids and one piece of pio when the solicitous widow glanced over to. his plate "and- said :

"Try one more piece of tho tard pie, deacon."

"I don't care if I do," was the reply, and lie tried it. It seemed to just fit. He was leaning back in his chair with bis thumbs in his armholes of his vest when i?he widow glanced over again, and said:

"I. took special pains with that pie, deacon, on yourjaccount. Let me help you to another piece."

"If you don't mind, widder. I never heard that\ custard pie hurt anybody. It was nice of you to think of me."

"But you are paying your board, you know."

That gave the deacon his cue. He devoured the third piece of pie, looked longingly at what was left, and then brushed the crumbs from hi.s vest and said :

"Yes, widder, I'm a boarder, but there are times when I wish I wasn't There are times when I wish I v as closer than a boarded. In fact, Mrs Miller, I believe the best thing avo can do is to hitch horses. You need me and I need you. You'e had a chance to watch me, and I've had a chance to watch you, and I guess we won't make any mistake.

The widow was clearing off^ the table by this time, but she paused to blush and cast down her eyes. They •always do that, no matter how often they are proposed to. She didn't say right out~she'd accept the deacon and he glad to do it, but her actions left him to draw a favourable inference, and lie drew it.

Three days later, when Deacon Brockway came driving out to buy some more hogs, he was received with coldness. Deaco-n Hazlett met him in front of the house and Said:

"1 don't think .you need waste any moro time around here.".

"Why, what's the matter?" "I've asked her myself, and she's going to be mine."

"Then you are a blamed mean man!"

"You go 011!"

Just what the widow expected after

that proposal cannot be stated for certain, but slio surely had a right to expect the wedding to come off on Thanksgiving day. "Why not? Then slie had a right to look forward to Christmas and New Year's, but disap6intment was her lot again.

Having asked for .her heart and hand and received them the deacon seemed content to keep on paying hpard. About the only change that took place in him was the fact that he now helped himself to a third piece

of custard pie and made no excuses

The widow took pains to read- him all the 'wedding announcements >n the county paper, but he received them with a "Hum!" There were times when she determined to have tho day settled, but she always baoked out when the moment arrived to speak. .

April had come, v and the state of uncertainty continued, when Mrs Miller's sister arrived from a town 40 miles away. She was not a widow, but ■ she was also a hustler. She had hustled for a husband, and she could give out pointers:

Of course, she pumped for particulars and got them, and when they were well in hand she said:

"Sarah, I'm going, to lift the deacon out of his boots. He's just such a man as my John was, and must be handled in the same way. John kept me waiting for three years, and then I raised him."

"But I can't ask him when, we are to be married," was the protest.

"You needn't say a' word. . Just go right along as humble as a cat and let me do the planning. I like the deacon. He's a good man, but he ; needs a scare."

"Maybe he'll ask me to set the day for the first of May."

"And maybe he'lLkeep right on till he's 70 and never -say 'a word aboait it Sarah; every body thinks a widow, as sharp as. a knife, but they are mistaken. They haven't got the gumption of spring. chickens."

Three days later Deacon Brockway came driving along theiroad with a grin on his face; On this, day he did not stop, but on the next he did. Deacon. Hazlett - saw him from the : fields, but couldn't get tip in time to say anything.

He drove past the next day and the next, and each day he signalled the house with his handkerchief.

Deacon Hazlett was now in, a perturbed state of mind. He> sulked, but he asked no questions. It was apparent that he was jealous.

On the days that Deacon Brockway did not drive past the farm the two women drove, into the village, and the sister finally announced that the trap was ready for the victim, and added : .

"Sarah Miller, if you are not a married woman within 24 hours, then I'll give up that I. don't even know enough to wring out a dishcloth and wind up the clock."

"But is it Christian-like to deceive?" asked the widow as she felt the pricks of conscience.

"It is Christian-like for woman to get a husband, and if the nian is an old poke and lias to be hurried up that isn't her fault."

That day Deacon Brockway stopped at the hoiise and got safely away again. Also, just at dark he. was seen ; driving ' past at full speed.

Deacon . Haziest .'gritted his teeth and n\ade up his mind that within the next day or two lie would have a talk with the widow and demand explanations. He was too late, however.

At 10 o'clock that evening just as he had got to bed, there came a pounding on the door, and a voice cried out :

"0, deacon, but I can't find Sarah, and I fear the worst."

"What is it?" asked the deacon as he made himself presentable and openr ed the door.

"Have you noticed that Sarah has been acting queerly for the past three days?"

"But she hasn't jumped into- the well!" he shouted.

"Worse than that, I'm afraid. Deacon, can you stand a great shock — a tremendous shock?"

"Woman, what is it?" he answered, as his face grew as white as snow, and his knees wobbled until he had to sit down.

"Be a man, deacon, and brace yourself up. There are worse things than jumping into a well. Sarah has— has "

"Hung herself in the barn!" "No. I fear she has eloped with Deacon Brockway!"

"By thunder!" yelled the deacon as he sprang to his feet and the red came back to his face. "I'll follow them ! I'll pursue them to the ends of the earth ! Which way did they

go?"

"Towards the village. They were to get married at the inn there. O deacon, if you overtake them don't,

don't :

But the deacon had rushed past her out of the lIOUSB and was on his way to th© barn. Three minutes later he was astride of the old bay mare and sending her along the highway at a pace she hadn't struck for five years before.

It was three miles to the village, and he met just one team on the way. The driver called out a hello to him, but the deacon answered :

"You go to the devil !" and lie continued the pace.

The inn was gained. There sat the widow. There sat Deacon Brockway. There sat a minister.

x With one awful yank Deacon Brockway went whirling out of doors. Then the widow was lifted to her feet, the minister was told to go ahead or meet his doom, and widow Miller was Mrs Deacon Hazlett and on her way home within the next 10 minutes. — By C. B. LewiSj i n . the Boston Globe.