WIT AND HUMOUR.

Bush Advocate, Volume XVI, Issue 582, 5 December 1904, Page 3

WIT AND HUMOUR.

A RETURN JOURNEY SUGGESTED.

Two boys, busily engaged fishing in strictly preserved water, for which only one was provided* with a permit, were suddenly confronted by the gamekeeper. Whereupon; one pf them, hastily collecting his tackle, set off at his best speed acroßS the fields, the keeper following.

After covering ; three or four miles of very heavy country, the angler seated himself, and awaiteld the panting and angry bailie. ;.'.-■■■

"Do you knoto*," asked the keeper, "that you are not allowed to fish in that water without, pfermission?"

"Yes," answered the lad; "but I have permission. I've got a. -pass."

"What. did you run for, then?" said the astonished and irate keeper. "I like .running; /' What did you run

for?"

"Has the other' laddie a pass?" roared the now infuriated man.

*T realy couldn't; say, answered the "but" you had better go back and

boy; see."

The outwitted keeper's feelings and ■language, are better left to the imagination.

Most of the black hair used in wigs, and "switches" eomdfe from the Italian and Spanish convents, and most of the blonde hair from the heads of Swedish ,Danish, Bussian, and (Jerman peasant girls.

■ It is. all right to receive an education in tho school of matrimony, but hardly wine' to take a post-graduate course.

A man is best. educated when he knows at what times to appear ignorant. *

- 'rhe reason ■> why so many folks have so little confidence in themselves is because they have too much in others.

Wheu you borrow trouble it usually'demands compound interest.

A good, strong, healthy nian wants a food breakfast,' not a breakfast food.

Love makes a good dynamo to run the heart, but common sense is the beet rudder.: ''_..*.

Don't put your reputation in a glass g^lob© and place* ib on exhibition, it-is likely to get shatteerd.

"Several of my frieiids are . comingytp dine here; so I want a big table," said a young student. .*•.*.-,

"Just look at this oney returned mine ;host. "Fifteen persons could sleep quite comfortably under it."

."This coin you gave me reminds me of some women," said the conductor^ turri*' iiig the counterfeit shilling over, in his hand.

"How so?" asked the curious passenger. "Fare-i but false,", said the other. .

Hicks : My . wif^,says that a man should not keep anything . secret from his wife; but I notico there is one thing she never tells me. a . .. y* .**' * Wicks: And "what is that? Hicks: She is all the time saying, when ; she indulges " in an extra extravagance, that she will make it up "by saving in something else. Bat she. never has given me the smallest hint as to what that something else is. ■',*..