MAKING MONEY TALK.

Bush Advocate, Volume V, Issue 354, 16 August 1890, Page 7

MAKING MONEY TALK.

First Bank-note : " What, would you do if you were a loan ?" Second Bank-note : "Keep Lent,"

He c Will you marry me ? She : Can you support me ? Ho (reproachfully) : Haven't I supported you every Sunday evening for two years 't

" Wiut do you want ?" " Your daughter's hand." " Can't do it. Take her as a whole or leave her. We don't do an instalment business here."

" I could make it do." '* I'm afraid— -Oh, see this piece !" "How lovely!" "Isn't it!" But they don't buy any after all.

The Court : What fg your age, madam ? The Plaintiff : Must I answer ? " You must" " Why, judge, I thought people didn't have to testify against themselves."

Jonus has just married a girl who, although bringing him a pretty penny in the way of a fortune, has been uwiblo to fall very deoply in love with him.

"Do you know," tho poor man remarked to a friend, <( she's so frigid that I'm afraid to take her in my anna lest I should catch tho influenza."

CnoMY (to Irishman ringing fog boll at ferry landing): "Aw — ray man, why is this bell ringing?" Irishman: "Can't you see, you phool, it's because Oi'm pullin' th' r-r-ropo ?"

i£r.. Batuclino (undergoing a medical examination for insurance): "Are you going to punch me agaia liko that, doctor?" The Physician : " Just once more." Mr. Barkling : " Well, before you do it just have tha policy made out and signed, will you s 1 "

" What's this next cose ?'* asked tho judgo. "The prisoner was arrested for ogling women.' 1

• : Ah! sort of stare-caser" said the judge, ami tho prisoner laughed so uproariously that the judgo waa very lenient.

CttABT.EY Lovklox (who Bees a chanco to say something really bright) : " Woally, Misa Squelcher, you weiuiud me of a cowener's juwy." Miss Squelcher : "Yes? Why, pray P" Charley Lovelox : " Why, you sit on a body so, you know."

Miss Sharps : Oh, how do you do, Mr. Sissy ? You are not looking very welL Mr. Sissy : No, Mips Shawpe; I've a cold or something in my head. MissSharpe (calmly); I think it must bo a cold, Mf. Sissy.

Every bookkeeper ought to be a splendid athlete. Ho does no-thing but run up columns all day long. Cbyjno piece when there ia no piece. — Boy asking for pie when the pantry Is empty.

A good story is going the rounds about tho second «m of the Emperor of Germany, Princo Eitel Frits. The Emperor i« exceedingly strict about his son's behaviour at table. The other day little Priiuie Eitel Fritz, using his linger^ instead of his knife (md folk, was corrected by hia father several times to no purpose. At last the Emperor's patience waa exhausted, tmd he «iid, *' Children who eat with their fingers are like little dogs that hold their food with th«ir paws. If ymi use your fingers again, you must go under the table, the proper plnco for little dogs." Tho littlo princo did his utmost not to forget this time, and Tised his knifp and fork like a man ; but all at once ho forgot again, and began using hia fingers. "'Murch under tho tablo," said his fatbeu. Prince Eitel Fritz crept under as bidden. After a little while the Emperor thinking the Princo very quiet, lifted up the tablecloth and peeped underneath. There sat little Princo Eitel -Fritz undressed. His father asked him what be meant by undressing himself. The child answered, *'Littlo dogs don't wear clothes ; fey only hftvo skin.**